This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

CHAPTER 23

Kayla

I was counting down the minutes until my phone read midnight. The night seemed to just drag on and on, since the guys dropped us off. Of course, now that we were no longer around my grandparents, Cami wanted to talk about nothing but Glenn. So here we sat, on my bed, me waiting for midnight, and her yammering on about Glenn.

"Why didn't you tell me how hot he was? You're such a bitch! You know I'm joking, but oh my god, seriously. He is hotter than any other guy I have ever met. What's he like? I mean, I only got to talk to him alone for about five minutes, so..."

"Oh my god, Cami. You are too funny. You could have your pick of any number of guys back home. I guess I never noticed how good-looking Glenn is. I'm sorry, I have been a bit preoccupied with someone else." We both broke out in a fit of laughter and for the first time in awhile, I felt happy. It felt so good to sit with my best friend and talk about boys. Boys that weren't complete a*sholes. "So do you actually like this guy, or are you just fixated on him for the moment?"

She blatantly rolled her eyes before answering me. "Honestly, I don't know. But, I do know that he gives me butterflies, and I haven't felt that with anyone. Enough about me though, what's really going on with you and Madison? And don't you dare try and lie to me; I can tell there is something more than just an infatuation. Spill!"

I thought about lying to her, for all of about two seconds, but she was right, I couldn't hide this from her. "Well, first off, I have to tell you something." I jumped off the bed and quietly closed my door, making sure that my grandparents had no chance of hearing me. "We had sex the other night." I waited for her reaction, but she just sat there, cross-legged on my bed, with the most stoic look I have ever seen on someone's face. "Okay, not really the reaction I was looking for, but sure."

"I knew it. You dirty little whore, I knew it." Cami rolled onto her side, practically busting at the seams. Since she wouldn't stop laughing, I decided to start kicking her in the side with my foot playfully.

"Shut up, I am not a whore, you slut. Now stop laughing at me and let me tell you the rest."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop."

After about five more minutes of on and off giggling, Cami finally started to slow her breathing, so I took my opportunity to finish telling her the rest of it. "I like him, Cami."

"Well duh, of course you do. I knew that much."

"No I mean, I really like him, like A LOT. I don't know what it is, but I find myself being drawn to him. This feeling I get when I'm around him, is something I have never felt before. Not only is he drop-dead gorgeous, he has a heart of gold. That boy would literally, do anything for me. He even asked me to go with him to Arizona. But..."

"But, you said no. I know you, Kay. You're never going to let another guy in, not after what Wren put you through. Honestly, I don't blame you. But, I think that you should let Madison in. He seems to genuinely care about you. If I didn't know any better, I would say that boy loves you. I can see it in the way he looks at you. He doesn't just want you for the summer, he wants you forever."

I sat back against my headboard, contemplating everything she had just said to me. Could he really love me, already? There was no way he could already feel that strongly about me. Although, I have to admit the feelings I had for him were definitely much more than like. I ran my fingers through my hair and down over my face. "I don't know what to do, Cami. You know I can't go with him. I can't go back there. Ugh, why couldn't I have just met him later?"

"Oh honey, no one says you guys have to be together now. Did you ask him if he was willing to do the long distance thing? You know, come visit you and all that fun stuff?"

I nodded my head as the first tear started rolling down my face. The reality of the situation finally setting in. Cami was at my side instantly, with her arms around me, rubbing my back. She had been around for all of it. My father leaving, my momma's drinking and drug habit, and every single bump in the road with Wren. Cami had always been my rock and the one person I could tell anything to, without fear of being judged or anyone finding out. She was my one constant in a small world of inconsistent people.

"He didn't seem open to the idea." I barely managed to get the words out through my sobbing.

"Kay, let's just not talk about this right now. You need to pull yourself together. You're going to see your beautiful man in a little over an hour and you don't want to be crying. My suggestion, just be with him while you can. Your only seventeen hun, you have plenty of time to figure this whole thing out. For once in your life, just live in the moment. You got it?"

I happily agreed and leaned down into her shoulder as I let the last few waves of tears find their way out of me. I must've dozed off because I woke to someone shaking my shoulder. Before I could find out who it was, I was sitting up and practically swinging. When Cami's face came into focus, I practically choked on my own breath.

"Cami, I'm so sorry. I swear I didn't know it was you. Oh my god."

"Kay, it's okay. Calm down, it's okay. I'm not mad, I just wanted to make sure you didn't sleep through your date."

I shook my head, reminding myself that I was in a safe place now. "Thanks. I'm going to get ready real quick. Are you sure you're okay with me going?"

"Of course. I'm tired anyway; so I'm just gonna crash. You two have fun."

I shot her an appreciative smile, as I closed the door behind me. I had set out my outfit for tonight when we got home earlier. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was cute enough that he would want to rip it off the minute he saw me. I changed quickly, and then pulled my boots back on. When I opened the door, Cami had already passed out on her side of the bed. I smiled at the picture of my best friend at my house, and for once I realized that my life here held more promise than anywhere else, and I wasn't willing to risk that for anything.

I walked to the field with my head down. My heart was already hurting with my new realization. It took me twice as long to get to the field than usual, and I knew it was because I turned around at least five times. Maybe if I didn't show up at all, then he would get the hint. Damn it, why did this have to be so difficult? When the top of the hill came into view, so did Madison. He was standing against the tree we always sat under, smoking a cigarette. He looked absolutely amazing in the moonlight, and I wished I didn't have to do what I was about to do. A wide smile spread across his face as he saw me come into view. A small smile touched my lips, but never reached my eyes, and by the look on his face, he had noticed it too.

"Well hey there, pretty girl. I was beginning to think you weren't gonna show up. What took you so long?" His hands gripped mine, as if they were a lifeline. I tightly squeezed them back and placed a kiss to his cheek.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, cowboy." He smiled down at me and brought his lips down on mine.

I wanted to pull away, I really did, but once his hands slid around my waist and pulled me into his chest, I didn't have the strength to say no. He pushed his hands into the back of my hair as his tongue explored my mouth, giving it a small tug. I moaned into him, urging him to take things further, and he didn't hesitate.

My tight white shirt was instantly over my head on the ground, and Madison's shirt was quick to follow. This time it felt a bit rushed, but after the decision I had made before coming to meet him, I was more than okay with it. His hands were soft and gentle, caressing me in a way that could only be portrayed as loving.

Within minutes, he was gently laying me down on a large blanket that I hadn't even noticed on the ground before now. His lips left hot scorching trails on every inch of my exposed skin as he made his way up and down my body. When his lips found their way back to mine, I fell back in awe. The things he could do to me with just one kiss were overwhelming.

I felt Madison hesitate once he was positioned at my entrance. I could see it in his face that he was treating this as though it was our last time, and I couldn't help but feel the same. I urged him to continue by wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling him into me. He resisted for only a moment and then pushed himself deep inside of me.

A loud moan escaped my lips and I watched as a sly smile touched his. I pulled, pushed and gripped him against my quivering body. With every movement, my mind drifted off to a peaceful place and I gave myself over to the plethora of emotions invading my mind, without regret.

We found our release together and I felt as though I was floating on a cloud above my body. It was overwhelmingly amazing. Madison rolled onto his back, pulling me with him and clutching me to his chest. I nestled my head into the nook of his strong, muscular arm and wished for this to be an everyday occurrence. When I was about to tell him exactly how I was feeling, he ended up beating me to the punch.

After what had just happened, I came to the conclusion that I was more than willing to try and make this thing work, despite my reservations. Apparently, what we had just shared had done the opposite to him. I was in utter disbelief as the next few sentences came pouring out of his mouth. For the first time, in a long time, I wanted to beat the ever-living shit out of a man, other than Wren.