This Love of Mine (Raine Series #1)

CHAPTER 21

Kayla

I knew what I had to do, and how I needed to do it, but looking at him was making it all the more difficult. I wasn't willing to let him leave everything behind, or give everything up for me. As much as I had grown to cherish this man in such a short amount of time, I still wondered what would happen if it all didn't work out.

When my eyes met those emerald embers, I almost lost my nerve. The desire to run into his embrace far outweighed having to tell him that he needed to leave and forget about me.

"Madison, I'm not exactly sure what I am doing, but I know what you need to be doing. You need to go to Arizona and start your training camp. I know you extended your time to stay here with me, and I'm not okay with that. As much as I want to be the most selfish person in the world and keep you here with me forever, I know that you were meant for greater things. I've never seen you play baseball, but if you play anything like you sing, then I know you're a shoo in for the majors. I have come to care for you far too much to let you give all that up." I took in a short breath, but before I could continue with my rant, Madison took his chance to cut in.

"Don't you see, Kayla? I'm not giving anything up. Why can't I have both, you and school? It's a fairly simple solution. At least for me, it is."

My body was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I found myself inching closer and closer without even realizing it, until we were face to face. I wanted so badly to place my hand against his cheek, to feel some sort of contact, but I just couldn't allow myself to have that much hope.

"Madison, I'm only a senior in high school and you're off to college. As much as I would love to go with you, I can't. You saw what happened here tonight. For cryin' out loud, my granddaddy all but pulled a shotgun on his own daughter, just to get her to leave me alone. Could you imagine what would have happened had Wren shown up with her? It's too much for me to deal with, let alone somebody I am just gettin' to know. My life isn't normal.

I'm not sayin' I never wanna be with you again, because trust me, even if I wanted to, there's no way I could fight the urge to stay away from you. I'm just sayin' let's take the time to get to know one another, and then we can see where we stand. I'm willing to make a deal with you though." I finally gave in a little and let myself smile. His soft, easygoing nature was contagious and I could only hope and pray that one day soon, I could live my life the same way.

"What's the deal, sweetheart?"

I knew I had his interest peaked when a wide smile spread across his face as he spoke to me. "I'm willing to spend every last minute you have here with you until you have to leave. But after that, you have to agree to let things play out as they may. No guarantees, deal?"

I could see the hesitation and anguish in his eyes. He didn't want to agree, but what I was offering him was all I could give at the moment. Deep down I believe he knew what I was saying made the most sense. He was only eighteen and I was only seventeen. We had plenty of time to have a relationship, when the time was right.

"What if I say I want more than that?" He looked flustered, and I guess deep down I couldn't blame the guy, but this was the only way this was going to work.

"You know I can't do that right now, Madison. I need to work out my issues before I can move forward with you."

"It all just sounds like bullshit to me, KJ. I honestly think that you're scared, and you are tryin' to think of any possible reason for us not to be together. I know it's scary, but I'm willing to hold your hand the whole way. I want to."

"I believe you Madison, trust me I do. But, this is all I'm willing to offer right now, so make your decision."

I stood back, arms crossed firmly over my chest, waiting for him to answer me. I knew time was quickly dwindling down and we were running out of it. I love my granddaddy, but when he meant business, he meant business. Out of nervousness or fear, I began tapping my foot like an impatient child. A part of me was terrified of what his answer may be when I started pushing him. Would he push back? Would I lose him for good? Damn it, Madison, say something.

My eyes were tightly shut, when I felt the heat of his body close enough to breathe in his signature scent. I still wasn't able to put my finger on exactly what it was, but it was a mixture of sandalwood and vanilla, and it did things to my insides. Lovely things, I might add. His hot breath seared my skin as his mouth closed in on mine, before he finally let the most amazing words float past his lips.

"I'll take anything I can get when it comes to you, pretty girl. Don't ever forget that I will never stop fighting for you, and despite what you say, I think you secretly want me to."

I turned my face into his and pressed my lips tightly against his mouth. I let him take the lead and soon enough, my mind, body and soul were floating in ecstasy as every touch, and every kiss left me yearning for more. I didn't want to be the one to break contact, but apparently I didn't have to. He pulled back with a hazy and satisfied look playing across his face.

"You should probably get inside, before your granddaddy comes out and shoots me in my ass. I hope you sleep well, darlin'." His lips gently caressed my forehead and then my nose, before finally descending upon my mouth one last time.

"Dream of me?" I knew he most likely would, but hey, telling him to do so couldn't hurt, right?

"Always." He whispered in my ear as he turned and headed back to his house.

I watched him walk away for what felt like an eternity, but of course it ended far too soon. I was already willing sleep to take over me and for the sun to rise on a new day. I needed to see him, needed to feel him and I definitely needed to have him inside me once more.

I kicked the gravel beneath my feet before turning and heading back into the house. I had all but expected my granddad or grandmamma to be waiting up for me, but the house was deserted, not a person in sight. I let out a loud sigh as I pressed my back firmly against my bedroom door and slid down to the floor. I felt bad for lying to Madison, but I also knew it was for his own safety. My momma knew exactly what she was doing by coming here. Hell, she and Wren probably set up the entire charade themselves. I laid my head against my crossed arms resting on top of my knees, when I felt myself beginning to drift off to sleep. I just couldn't pull myself over to my bed, I was now physically and emotionally exhausted from tonight.

Just as I was about to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, I felt my phone vibrate in my front pocket. I jumped at the small movement it made and hastily pulled it out to see who would be calling me so late. I almost stood up and jumped for joy when I saw Cami's name flash across the screen. I instantly answered and flung myself on top of my bed. This was exactly who I needed to talk to you, and it renewed my energy instantly.

"Oh my god girl, I am so glad you called me. I have so much to tell you, and you'll never believe it."

"Well, you'll never believe what I need to tell you either. Although, my news is more of the life or death sorts. Are you sitting down?"

She sounded so serious, and it was a rare occasion when Cami was serious. "What's going on?" I sat straight up on my bed, bracing myself for the impact of her next words.

"Wren is looking for you, and your mom has already left to come and get you."

"I know." I was relieved to know that it wasn't anything more serious than that. Not that Wren coming to find me wasn't a serious situation, but it was a hell of a lot easier to deal with than some of the other things that had crossed my mind.

"What do you mean you know?" She sounded out of breath and I could only assume that she was out for a run. When Cami became stressed or sad, she turned to running as her form of therapy.

"I mean, she was here not too long ago. It's really a long story and as much as I want to tell you the entire story right now, I am exhausted. I have so much to tell you, but not...now..."

*****

I woke up with my cell phone stuck to my face. I wasn't sure how long I had been in that position, but I vaguely remembered a conversation with Cami. A sheen of sweat had built up along my brow, as the morning sun came blazing through my window with no curtains to shield the heat. I could hear the sound of voices floating up the stairs, but paid them no mind, figuring it was just my grandparents. I rolled over in my bed, realizing that I was still wearing my dress from the night before. I headed towards the bathroom to shower, now was as good as any to get ready and start my day.

As I stood under the stream of scorching hot water, the events from last night started pouring through my mind one by one. Some were amazing and I wanted to relive them over and over again, until I got to the reason why I had been so late getting to sleep. I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to deal with my momma, or Wren for that matter, but I suppose I would have a little bit of time to think about it.

I rushed through the remainder of my shower and quickly pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a tight gray, V-neck shirt. I ran a brush through my hair, before pulling it up into a ponytail and then making my way downstairs.

The commotion coming from the dining room had all but multiplied by the time I hit the last couple of steps. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Madison's voice billowing through my house. Never in a million years did I expect my granddaddy to allow him in our home, especially after how he spoke to him last night. I debated whether or not to turn and high tail it up to my room, pretending I was still asleep, but when I heard the next voice break through the chatter, I practically went running towards the sound.

I hit that bottom step and ran, the best I could, throwing my arms around that blonde little firecracker, I called my best friend.

"Oh my god, what the hell are you doing here?" I shouted as I pulled her into a deeper embrace. It felt like I hadn't seen her in forever, and I missed her tremendously.

"Well, hey there girly. It's good to see you too. I was actually hopping on a plane when you fell asleep on the phone with me this morning."

I pulled back, dragging her over to the table with me so I could sit down. I had stopped taking my medicine a day ago and the pain was still a little unbearable when I stood on it. "No way! Why? And why didn't you tell me?" I still couldn't believe that she was here.

"After I found out about, well, you know who, I just knew that you were going to need me around." She let out a small laugh and then looked in the direction of Madison. In my excitement, I had totally forgotten that he was even here.

"How'd you get in here, cowboy?" I winked at him before either of my grandparents could notice.

"Ya know. I forced my way in." He chuckled under his breath.

"Funny. No really?" I was dead serious. After the conversation I had overheard with my granddaddy and him, I was all but certain that he wouldn't be allowed around these parts.

That's when my granddaddy interjected. "I invited him over this morning. No sense in y'all runnin' around behind our backs. This way, we know where y'all are at."

I mouthed a 'thank you' to my granddaddy, and then turned my full attention back to Cami. "So, how long are ya stayin'?"

"Well, Mom and Dad say I can stay the rest of the summer. That is, if your grandparents are willing to have me." She glanced between my granddad and grandmamma. They both rolled their eyes and happily obliged. They loved Cami, and there was no way they would say no to something that made me so happy.

"Well, let's get ya unpacked and then we can head out to find somethin' to do." We both stood from the table and she grabbed her suitcase before we both headed towards the stairs. I knew Madison would be sittin' there, mouth open, wondering if I was going to pay him any attention.

"You comin' cowboy, or ya just gonna sit there looking at me all crazy like?" A broad smile stretched across his face as he pushed himself up and away from the table, following right behind us.