chapter 14
(Jesse)
The aroma of coffee fills the air as my dad and I sit at an outside café and enjoy our breakfast. He seems happy with the way I’m handling things. He’s surprised at how relaxed I seem, considering the circumstances. I want to leave him with a good feeling so that he’s not worrying about me while he’s home.
Before heading to the airport, he drops me off at school.
I still have a good twenty-five minutes to kill before class so I stroll towards the lake near the fine arts building. Spreading my sweatshirt on the grass, I sit down and take in the fresh air while reading through my art history notes. I have a test coming up at the end of the week and I’ve been lacking in the studying department as of late. As I get through the second page, I’m interrupted by the buzzing of my phone sitting on the green grass beside me. I answer, not recognizing the number.
“Hello.”
“Hey, JJ,” The voice on the other end is not who I’m expecting. I freeze. “JJ, are you there?”
“Uh-huh,” is all that I can manage to come from my mouth.
“Mikey said you didn’t have class till ten so I figured I’d give you a call to see how you’re doin’, do you have a minute?” Luke says sounding a bit winded. I know the tone of his voice as if it’s my own. He’s nervous, but trying to conceal it.
“Uh… I guess. I’m at school now. My dad dropped me off on his way to the airport, but I have a few minutes before I have to get to class.”
“I won’t keep you. That’s right, he’s leavin’ today. We had a good time at the game. It sucks they lost, though. It would have been nice to win the series at home.”
“Yeah, I think they’ll be okay. They only need one more.”
“Mikey left for Texas this morning.”
“I know… are you going?”
“I wish I could, but I can’t. I’m working with the pitching coach all week. I’m actually here now, but I’m on a break… I have to get back soon.”
“Oh okay, I’ll let you go then,” I answer, cutting him off. My nerves are getting the best of me. It’s difficult making small talk with him, talking as if we’re strangers.
“Whoa… slow down.” He chuckles. “I have a few minutes.” A pause. “I want to ask you somethin’.”
“Oh.” My stomach swirls.
“I was wondering if maybe you felt like getting something to eat with me later.”
“I can’t… I have work after school,” I answer much too quickly.
“What about when you’re finished work?”
“I told Mya I would help her with something and I have a lot of school work. I don’t think I’ll be able—”
“Ah, c’mon. How about after that? Just for ice cream, Mya can come, too.”
He’s persistent. I contemplate whether or not to agree, but, if Mya comes…
“Hello… Are you still there?” he asks after a long period of silence.
“I’m thinking.”
“C’mon, it’s ice cream. What’s there to think about?” he teases.
“I guess,” I whisper, not really sure if I said it out loud.
“Awesome,” he answers enthusiastically. I guess I did say it out loud. “I’ll call you later. You can let me know a time that works for you.” He pauses. “You’re not going to cancel on me, right? You know, like hang up the phone and spend the rest of the day thinkin’ up a good excuse?”
“No, I won’t. Especially since you just brought it up, it would be too obvious,” I say dryly, attempting to make a joke.
He laughs, catching my sarcasm. “Cool. Thanks. I’ll see you later,” he says cheerfully. I hang up the phone and suddenly realize I feel those butterflies again instead of the bats that have taken over my body the last couple of years.
I somehow manage to get through school and I even spend time in the student center, getting my work completed so I won’t have to worry about it later.
While I change into my work clothes, it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have yet to face Frank since the night Luke confronted me at the game. Guilt overcomes me, thinking about how fast I had forgotten. He’s been a good friend to me the last several months. I’ve really grown to care about this man and I don’t want to hurt him.
When I arrive at the gallery, I poke my head into the office, expecting to be greeted by Jazz. Instead, Frank is working at his desk. I didn’t notice his car when I came in.
“Hi, Frank,” I say sheepishly.
“Hi, Jesse, how are you today?” he asks casually, doing paperwork.
“Good. Is Jazz in?”
“She called out today,” he answers.
“Where have you been?” I ask, trying to make conversation.
“I had a few auctions to attend.”
“Did you find anything good?” Auctions are one of the things I enjoy attending with Frank. He picks up some really interesting pieces of artwork when he goes. He’s taught me different things to look for while making purchases.
“Yeah, I did. It’s in the back; go take a look, let me know what you think,” he says excitedly. This is why I like spending time with Frank. We both have the same enthusiasm when it comes to discussing art and discovering new pieces. I turn to leave so I can check out his new find, feeling as if I’ve been let off the hook. “Actually, Jesse, come sit for a minute. There’s something I would like to talk with you about,” he calls out before I have a chance to escape. So much for being let off the hook.
I slowly turn around and walk towards Jazz’s desk, across from Frank. I’ve been dreading this conversation, but knew we had to have it. I have a lot of respect for Frank, and I owe him an explanation, but finding the words is not coming easy for me.
He puts down his pen, leans back in his chair and folds his hands on his desk. He senses my uneasiness and takes the lead. “I guess you know what this is about?” he asks, looking me in the eyes. I nod. “I want you to know that the reason I hired you is because of your knowledge of art history. I value your opinion and I admire your work. As far as I’m concerned, nothing has changed. About the other night… you need to do what makes you happy. I can see that there is a lot of history between you and Luke. Things seem to be left unsettled between the two of you. I think we both know that you and I will never really be more than friends.”
“But Frank… ” I cut in, finding my voice, “…the other night, you asked me how I felt about you. I feel as if I misled you. I swear, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t think he would ever come back. I wanted to move on, but then, suddenly, he’s here and… I really do care about you.” I’m not sure what I’m feeling or what to say to make this less uncomfortable.
“Jesse, stop. Don’t worry about that. I know at the time you meant what you said, but seeing your reaction when you saw him… I knew and, to be honest, I have to respect the fact that he was one hundred percent up front about his feelings for you.” He laughs. “The point is, I do not want there to be awkwardness between us. You work here and I would like you to continue working here. Like I said, I admire your talent, your input, and your knowledge.”
“Frank, thank you for understanding. I do love working here. You’ve taught me so much. I love being surrounded by all of this beautiful artwork. You’ve been such a good friend and I’m sorry,” I say as I walk towards him to give him a hug.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Now that we settled that… go check out that painting. I’m anxious to hear what you think.” He gives me a smile as he pats me on my back.
Relief consumes me and thankfully we are able to spend the remainder of the evening working together and discussing art without having tension between us. I know in my heart that Frank has admirably given me an out. I’m confident, that in time, we will get past it. Our relationship never had time to develop and Frank is a good-looking, successful man. I know he’ll be fine.
As I step out of the gallery, the warm evening breeze feels good against my face. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the fresh air. I’m looking forward to getting home and, if I admit it to myself, I’m looking forward to seeing Luke. I feel anxious, wondering what he will be like; will he seem different to me?
I have yet to break it to Mya that she will be accompanying us to the ice cream parlor. She’s working till eight. I don’t want to give her a heads up in fear that she’ll have time to come up with a good excuse as to why she can’t come. I want to face her while I ask, with a desperate look on my face, of course. She won’t be able to resist. After finishing up the last bit of school work, I jump in the shower, while the clock slowly ticks by. What if he forgets or changes his mind? I look at my clock for the tenth time.
Finally, my phone rings and I recognize the number from earlier.
“Hello?”
“Hi, JJ. How was your day?”
“It was good,” I answer, trying to steady my voice.
“I figured you were busy, I didn’t want to bother you earlier. I forgot to ask what time you’d be done working. We’re still on for ice cream tonight, right?”
“If you want.”
“Of course, what time?” he says merrily, ignoring the reluctance in my voice.
“Mya should be home any minute, how about around nine?”
“Sounds good; see you in a little bit.”
I almost ask if he needs directions, but then remember that he dropped me off at my apartment the other night.
“Hey, Luke, how did you know where I lived?” I ask curiously.
He laughs. “I don’t know… I just did.” He doesn’t elaborate.
I’m distracted from pressing the issue by Mya walking through the door, looking exhausted and not in the mood for company. “Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit,” I say, quickly ending my call with Luke so I can talk to Mya.
“Hi, Mya,” I greet her cheerfully.
“Uh oh… what do you want, Jesse?” she asks gloomily.
“What? What makes you think I want something?” I give her a smile.
“Because you look cute and cheery, you’re never cheery. Always cute, never cheery.”
“Thanks,” I answer sarcastically as I slip in my question. “Please do me a huge favor. I know you just walked in, but, please, you have to say yes,” I plead.
“Shit, Jess. What? I knew you wanted something.” She’s annoyed with me. I fill her in and being the good friend that she is, she reluctantly agrees.
While I busy myself around the apartment, trying to shake off the nerves, Mya goes outside to smoke a cigarette while waiting for Luke to arrive.
***
(Luke)
I can hardly believe she agrees to go out with me tonight. I’m ecstatic, except for the fact that Mya is coming along. However, at this point, I’ll take whatever I can get. It’s a start. That’s all I can ask for.
I pull up to her apartment building on my bike and spot Mya having a cigarette. Hard to mistake her with the blue streaks in her hair.
“Hey, Mya.”
“Hey, yourself,” she responds, hardly acknowledging me.
“Are you ready to go?” I ask nervously.
“I’m sure you’re just thrilled to have me tag along,” she retorts sarcastically.
“It’s fine with me. Is it just you and me?” I try to crack a joke.
Ringlets of smoke escape her dark red lips as she gives me a once over and flicks the butt of her cigarette at my feet while hitting the buzzer to her apartment. This should go real well. “Jess, Prince Charming just rode up.” She gives me a wink, and to my surprise, a smile.
“That’s a long shot,” I say sarcastically.
“I’ll be right down,” JJ’s voice cracks as it comes through the speaker.
She’s nervous. Hell, so am I.
“Thanks for the other night… you know, telling me where to find her,” I say, hoping to ease the tension.
“I did it for her… not you.”
“I know that. Thanks anyway.” She’s tough, but I admire her loyalty to JJ.
This is probably going to be a disaster. Thankfully, JJ is down quickly, looking more beautiful than ever. Her hair is pulled back into a simple ponytail and she’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans. For some reason, I always found this to be her sexiest look. Not that she’s not totally hot when she’s dressed up, but I always love the way she looks every day, just being herself.
“Hey, JJ,” I say casually as she walks towards us, not wanting to make a big deal of her being here with me.
“Hi, Luke.” She smiles.
We walk several blocks until we reach the ice cream parlor, I make sure to keep the conversation light. I can’t believe I’m standing this close to her again, though. I take in every part of her as I walk a step behind; watching the way her hair bounces when she walks, the small glint of a smile when someone says something that amuses her. Her eyes have somewhat of a glow, even though she seems shy and guarded around me. It’s the same for me, I don’t want to do or say anything that will make her want to leave.
Thankfully, Mya eases up on me as we talk. I like the way they are with each other, JJ laughs with her. We choose a booth. Mya and JJ automatically slide in across from each other. I catch JJ’s face and I know she realizes her mistake, but it’s too late for her to switch sides without making it obvious.
I hesitate for a second, not sure which side I should sit on. Do I sit with her or Mya? I can’t believe I’m actually standing here debating this. I try to act casual as I slide in next to JJ. My leg accidentally brushes against hers. Goose bumps prickle my skin and shockwaves flow throughout my body. I wonder if she feels the same. From the corner of my eye, I feel her glance at me. I stare intently at the menu, pretending not to notice. Thankfully, the waitress walks over to take our order.
I order the biggest sundae on the menu, hoping to drag the night out as long as possible. From traveling with the team the last few months, I have plenty of funny stories to keep the conversation flowing. JJ laughs and Mya asks a ton of questions. I’m careful to talk about current things and not bring up stories from our past.
Surprisingly, Mya and I hit it off. She’s really funny and I genuinely like her. Mikey’s name pops into the conversation and Mya makes a crude comment referring to the night they spent together.
“I heard all about it,” I say, laughing with her while JJ turns as red as an apple and reprimands her for being so blunt.
“Settle down, Princess. I’m teasing. I’m sure it’s nothing he hasn’t heard before, right, Luke?” Mya asks.
I laugh, agreeing with her.
“Don’t encourage her,” JJ says sarcastically to me while shaking her head in disbelief.
Mya and I continue the bantering with each other. JJ is watching us closely, taking it all in. She doesn’t say much, but I can tell she’s enjoying herself. She’s relaxed and seems happy, which in turn, makes me happy. I can feel her watching me when she doesn’t think I’m paying attention. We end up sitting and talking long after we finish our ice cream.
Finally, the employees begin to clean up around us and we have no choice except to leave. When we reach the outside of their apartment building, Mya asks if I’m coming up. JJ looks at me curiously, but doesn’t ask herself. I take that as a clue that maybe I should call it a night.
I look at JJ as I answer. “I can’t. I have to be up early for practice… maybe next time.”
I can’t be sure, but it seems that she may be disappointed, or maybe it’s just me being hopeful. I don’t want to leave, but I promised myself that I wouldn’t push her.
“I had a good time tonight,” I say, leaning down to kiss Mya on her cheek. I then lean towards JJ. “Thank you,” I whisper and softly kiss her cheek.
I walk over to my motorcycle parked by the curb and climb on.
“Luke… I had fun, too,” JJ calls out.
I speed down the highway, beaming. I made progress, I’m sure of it. I lie in bed later, thinking of the next time I will see her. I remember the tickets I bought for a baseball fundraiser being held this week. I wasn’t planning on attending, just make a donation, but now there’s a good reason to go. I want to call her right now and ask her to go with me, but don’t want to push. It kills me, but I wait a couple of days before calling her.
“I’ve got two tickets to this fundraiser thing tomorrow night, and was wondering if you would like to go with me? I should at least make an appearance, but hate going to these things alone,” I ask, anticipating her answer.
It makes my day when she agrees. I take it as a good sign that she’s willing to spend time with me… alone.
Later that day, after my workout, I’m called into the office. The timing is horrible, yet, it’s a great opportunity. I’m to report to the Arizona Fall League on Friday. I wasn’t expecting the call as there are a lot of great players that are invited to play, so it feels good being asked. I just figured I’d be in Tampa until spring, giving me time to make progress with JJ.
I don’t want to wait until tomorrow night to spring it on her that I’m leaving on Friday; it wouldn’t be right. I know she’s at school so I send her a text asking her to call me when she has a chance. My second call is to Deanna.
“Hey, it’s me. I was just told I’m to report to Arizona on Friday for the Fall League,” I tell her the second she answers the phone.
“Oh my God, that’s great! You can stay with me,” she answers excitedly.
“It is great, but it also sucks. I went out with JJ and Mya the other night. This morning I called to ask her if she wanted to go to a fundraiser with me tomorrow night and she agreed.”
“I heard about the ice cream. That’s awesome, so what’s the problem? Why do you sound like something’s wrong?”
“The problem is, she agreed to go out with me… alone, letting her guard down just a bit, and now I’ll be leaving again.”
“Luke, don’t be silly. She knows this is your career, she’s always accepted your life before.”
“Yeah, that was when she used to love me.”
“She still loves you. She’ll be fine.”
I’m hoping she’s right.
JJ returns my call within the hour, and I ask her if it’s okay to pick her up from school, telling her there’s something I want to talk with her about. She sounds nervous, but agrees.
I wait in the parking lot as she finishes up her last class of the day. She gets on the back of my bike and I drive to Cypress Point Park. We walk side-by-side along the water. I know she senses I’m on edge.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asks, putting up her guard. I can hear it in her voice and see it in her stiff stance.
“I’m nervous to talk to you about this… but I feel it’s only fair, before we go out tomorrow night. I’m not sure if you’ll still want to go with me, but there’s something you should know before you decide,” I say hesitantly.
“What is it, Luke? Spit it out. I don’t want to play games,” she says sternly, distancing herself from me.
“Me, neither, that’s why I called as soon as I found out.” I can tell I’m upsetting her. “After practice today… I got called into the office.” I take a deep breath before spitting it out. “I have to leave for Arizona on Friday.”
“Oh,” she says, trying to hide the disappointment in her eyes. “For how long?”
“Four to five weeks. I had a great time the other night. I don’t know about you, but it felt good to talk and laugh with you again, and I was really lookin’ forward to goin’ out with you tomorrow night. I had no clue I’d be asked to leave so soon. I thought I was here till at least late February, early March. I’m afraid if I go, you won’t want to see me again.”
She sits down by the water and looks out. It takes her a while before she answers. “Luke, the other night was the first time in a long time that I felt really good inside. I’m not sure what will happen between us. I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to get back to the place we were before, but I do know that I want you in my life. I think being friends is a good place to start. You go and do your thing. It’s only a month. We’ll talk and keep in touch while you’re away.”
I sit beside her. “Really? What about tomorrow night, do you still want to go to the fundraiser with me?”
She nods and gives me a smile.
I want nothing more than to lean in and kiss her, she looks amazing as the sun shines down on her face, but again, I remind myself to go slow. We sit for a while and talk. She wants to know how I’m doing in baseball so I fill her in and it feels good to talk about it with her in a personal way. I always looked to her for advice about my career and valued her opinion before; it’s comfortable slipping back into that old routine. I tell her about how excited Deanna was when I called to tell her I was coming. She laughs, knowing how lonely she’s been out there. We discuss De’s upcoming move to Tampa. We talk about her school and she tells me about the art show they are having soon. It feels good talking about things like we used to.
Being Florida, as it is, the clouds begin to roll in. It looks as if, once again, we are about to be interrupted by the weather. I help her up and we walk back to my bike. She asks when I bought it and laughs when I tell her the story of how I bought them on impulse.
When we arrive at her apartment, she climbs off the back and stands facing me while we talk. I thank her once again for understanding and make plans to pick her up tomorrow night. There is a lull in the conversation while we stand here, staring at each other. Without thinking, my eyes are drawn to her mouth and suddenly I lean over to kiss her. It’s a slow, soft kiss and she doesn’t pull away; good sign. When I slowly remove my lips from hers, those emerald-green eyes are looking deeply into mine. I pull her to me and kiss her deeply, the way she responds causes me to momentarily lose my mind. Screw the waiting.
“Do you want to come over and watch the game with me tonight?” I whisper softly in her ear as my heart pumps louder. I want to have her alone.
“I can’t. I’m working tonight at The Blue,” she answers breathlessly, taking a safe step back onto the curb and putting some distance between us.
I’m almost relieved when she turns me down. It’s too soon. I want to win back her trust before we take things to the next level. When I’m with her, I have a hard time letting her go.
“But, I’ll see you tomorrow night,” she assures, softening the blow.
“Cool. Is six okay?”
“Six is fine.”