I sob against Toshio. Paul and Brian come over and we hold each other in a circle by the bed.
“I love you guys,” I whimper, gutted. Absolutely gutted. Absolutely ruined. “You’re my brothers. And you’re my blood.”
“We love you too,” Paul says softly. “It’s just us from now on. I’ll need you all more than I can tell you at times.”
“Do you think she’ll be proud of us?” Toshio asks, sniffing hard onto his sleeve.
“Always,” says Brian. “As long as we don’t forget what we are to each other.”
“Otherwise both her and dad will deliver the smack down from up above,” I say, attempting a joke. We pull away from each other and even though their smiles are sad, at least they are smiling.
I feel like I might not ever have a genuine smile again.
We leave the room and look over my shoulder one last time at my mother.
Gone from us forever.
But so, so loved.
I step out into the hallway.
And Lachlan is standing there.
I stop in my tracks, trying to see through the haze of my tears, to see if it’s really him or some sort of apparition.
But my brothers all stop and regard him, wary, tired, and I know that he’s actually here. How can you not see a tall, inked, beast of a man standing in the tiny waiting area.
“Lachlan,” I say, my voice raw. I can’t believe it. His beard has grown in more and he looks as tired as I feel, but he’s here. He’s actually here. How is this even possible?
“I didn’t want you to go through this alone,” he says quietly. He opens his arms for me and I immediately rush into them, collapsing against his chest, my feet giving away. He holds me with strength I desperately need and I cry into his chest. So overwhelmed in so many, too many, ways.
“I’m here,” he says softly, his voice gruff, sinking into my burdened soul. “I’m here.” He breathes in deep, his chest rising against my face. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Kayla.” He squeezes me tighter and I grip his back, my fingers twisting into his shirt.
“How did you get here so fast? What about your rugby?” I mumble into him and then I can’t believe I’m actually saying these words in his arms.
He’s here.
God, I had no idea how much I needed him, needed this, until I got it.
“I took the first plane out in the morning. Came straight here,” he says quietly. “We don’t have a game for a few days. Alan said it was fine. But I would have come even if it wasn’t. I don’t ever want you to think you have to handle everything on your own. I’m here for you, I always will be.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling so much sorrow and so much gratitude just swirling around in my chest. My skin is burning beautifully under his touch. I’ve missed him so much. Slowly I pull back and stare up at him. There he is.
I’m not sure if he’s my Lachlan anymore.
But he’s here.
So he’s mine for now, for a brief time, once again.
CHAPTER TWENTYNINE
Lachlan
I’ve wished a lot in my thirty two years but I’ve never wanted anything more than to be the one who could take away her pain.
The moment she called me, I knew nothing was going to prevent me from reaching her. I got the first plane out in the morning, then I called Alan and told him I was missing a practice. He wasn’t happy about it but I told him I was doing it anyway.
I packed my bags, dropped the dogs off with Amara, and then got my arse over to San Francisco. I’d hoped to be there in time before Kayla had to say goodbye but I got there just after.
Seeing her walk out of that room, a world of agony on her thin shoulders, heartbreak ravaging her face, undid me like a spool of thread. I could barely stand the sight of her in that much pain and sorrow but I needed to be as strong as I could for her.
She collapsed into my arms. She collapsed into my heart.
I held onto her with both and told her I was there.
There was no protest, no anger. She accepted me and just for one, small flash of a second, I had her and everything was right in the world.
My beautiful world.