I arrive at work fifteen minutes early, hoping to catch Lucy before she gets distracted. When she sees me, eyeing my super casual skinny yoga pants, slip-on sneakers, and a t-shirt (you have to be comfy on the plane), she looks surprised, probably doubly so because I’m never early.
“Kayla,” she says as I stride into her office. “What’s, uh, going on?”
I give her a tight smile. “May I talk with you?”
She takes her hand off her mouse and gives me her full attention. “All right.”
“I’ll make this short and sweet, but please know that it’s really important to me, and it’s a great opportunity, and I don’t get many like these. And I’ve worked here for a long time, and I’ve been pretty good. Great, sometimes. Anyway, I normally don’t ask for something like this, so let’s just take a moment to both close our eyes and appreciate that.”
She raises her brow. “Okay. But I don’t know what you’re asking me yet.”
I take a deep breath, straightening my shoulders. “I know it’s last minute, but…can I take my vacation?”
“Sure,” she says, looking back to her computer, probably finding my file. “When?”
“Today.”
She pauses typing. “What?”
“Yeah. I have a flight at three p.m. to Edinburgh, Scotland.”
“Today?” she repeats just as Candace comes into the office, glancing curiously at us.
“Yes.”
“That’s more than last minute.”
“I know, I know,” I say, giving her my most pleading look. “Please.”
She rubs between her eyes. “Do you want your whole three weeks?”
“Yes, yes, if I can.”
“You know we’re getting into fall, things are going to get busier.”
“I know, but Candace can handle it,” I say. I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I stick my head into the office and yell at her. “Candace, if I go away for the next three weeks, do you think you can take over my account?”
She springs to her feet with overjoyed eyes and practically runs over to us. At this moment I know I’m handing my job, what I’ve worked for all these years, over to her, but it can’t be helped. I know that no matter what, this will be worth it.
And thankfully, thanks to Candace’s eagerness for the job, she’s the one who sells Lucy in the end.
“Fine,” Lucy says, giving me a wary smile. “You can go, Kayla.”
“What?” I ask, my breath stilling in my chest.
“Go. Go to Scotland. But when you come back, be prepared to work a lot. And make sure you get some kind of data plan over there. We might need to get in touch for this and that.”
She goes on about something else but I can’t even hear her. I’m smiling, stupidly, my heart this bubble that refuses to burst. That bubble takes me out of the office and I’m floating, high on joy, all the way to the car. I float while I drive, the car and I hovering happily as I cruise down the highway toward the airport. Nick Cave’s “Supernaturally” plays from the speakers, something I’ve been listening to ever since Lachlan said he admired him. Just another thing I’ve been doing, thinking, feeling, because of Lachlan.
And now, now I’m going off with him.
And so he is mine.
My Lachlan.
My beast.
My big, broken man.
I am coming for him. I am going to give myself to him in every way possible.
My body.
My heart.
My soul.
I’m going to get on that plane and stop being afraid for the first time in my life. I’m going to let him in and pray, hope, he’ll let me in too.
I’m so happy I could almost cry. I laugh instead, slowly, the feeling sneaking up on me as realization hits.
I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this.
This is so not me.
But maybe it’s the me I’ve always wanted to be.
And when I get to the airport and see Lachlan standing by the Virgin Atlantic ticket counter, where he texted me to meet him this morning, it feels like the sun is just shining through. It illuminates everything, telling me that this is right.
That there never was any other way for us.