He frowns.
“I can’t do it over the phone, Jake. He deserves more than that from me, and it’s only five days away.”
He nods, but I can see the reluctance in his agreement.
Then he takes my face in his hands and leans his mouth down to mine and kisses me. A long, slow delicious kiss.
My whole body responds to him.
“So you’re mine?” he murmurs.
“Yes,” I breathe, barely believing I’m saying the words, that this is even happening.
“You’re wearing my T-shirt.” His traces his finger over the fabric on my breast and my nipple instantly hardens. “I like you in my clothes … but I also like you out of them.” He takes hold of the hem of his T-shirt, his fingers skimming my skin as he lifts it over my head, dropping it to the floor. “But I like being inside you even more,” he whispers, pulling me up tight against his firm body.
He starts to kiss my neck, as he backs me up toward the bed. “You didn’t have any plans for today did you?” he murmurs against my skin.
“Um…no.” Even if I did they would have been cancelled for sure.
“Good. Because you’re not leaving this room today, and neither am I.”
He picks me up, putting me on the bed, he pulls his jeans and boxer shorts off in one, and climbs on top of me, ready for round two.
And once again, Will and my life back in the UK disappear off into the ether.
Chapter Fifteen
We stayed one more night in Denmark for the gig at the Parken Stadium, and now we’re in Paris for the last show of the European tour at the Stade de France, tomorrow night.
And the whole time Jake and I have been sleeping together, and when I say sleeping, we’ve not done much actual sleeping.
Behind closed doors we’re acting like we’re a couple, and in front of others pretending like nothing is different between us.
I’ve been putting on a fa?ade, acting like everything is okay to Will when I speak to him on the phone, when it’s clearly not.
I know that I’m the worst kind of person, but currently I just can’t see past Jake.
All I see his him.
I’m so completely in love, and lust with him.
Fortunately, the media interest in Jake and I quickly died down when Stuart put out a press release stating there was no story.
The release was firm on the point that Jake and I have a purely professional relationship.
Jake had Stuart put the statement out, and he only did that for me. If Jake had his way, the whole world would know about us.
For obvious reasons that can’t happen.
But I’ll be going home in a few days, after the show, and I’m going to tell Will then.
I think.
Well, that’s what I’ve promised Jake I’ll do. And I know I have to tell Will the truth, I just feel absolutely sick every single time the thought passes through my mind about telling him. So I’m trying not to think about it.
Instead I’m just immersing myself in Jake, as much and as often as I can.
We haven’t spent a night apart since that night in Copenhagen, and honestly, I can’t imagine spending a night apart from him ever again.
Every night though I have the same internal battle.
I go and call Will before bed as scheduled.
I feel sick with guilt after the call.
Jake is jealous and ansty with me when I return to him.
A part of me wants to leave Jake because of the guilt I feel over Will, the other part, the bigger part, wants to stay because of the way I feel about him.
We fight a little, sometimes a lot.
Then we spend the rest of the night making up.
Tonight, we’re in my suite. The guys have all gone out.
Jake and I both made some lame excuse up for not going out so we could spend the night together.
We ordered room service, ate our fill, and are now snuggled up on the sofa. I’m nestled in-between Jake’s legs, head on his chest, and we’re watching Armageddon.
There wasn’t much on the hotels movie listing, and I like Armageddon, it’s a sweet film.
Jake has been stroking my hair for the last ten minutes and I’m starting to feel sleepy and content.
I must have fallen asleep on Jake, because the next thing I know, he is lifting me up off the sofa and into his arms, and the room is in darkness.
“What are you doing?” I mumble, sleepy.
“Putting you to bed.”
“And where are you sleeping?”
“With you, of course.”
I don’t argue tonight. I’m too tired. And I wouldn’t argue any way. There’s no guilt, because I haven’t called Will.
Crap.
Well, I’m not going to call him now. I’ll just call him in the morning, tell him I fell asleep.
That’s at least the truth.
And the fact is, I love sleeping with Jake.
I know it’s wrong. Everything about this is wrong.
But it also feels so very right. And I don’t have the energy to care about right and wrong now.
Jake lays me down in bed and pulls the duvet over me.