“Yes,” I answer, sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him. “Vicky called to tell me about the story, and I thought I should call Will – you know.”
“So … um … did you tell him about us?” His voice is soft from beside me.
“No! Of course not!” I turn, looking at him horrified.
His face hardens, and I instantly see how bad that sounded.
“I didn’t realise the thought of me and you together was so bad,” he bites back.
Shit, he’s hurt.
“No, that’s not what I meant – I just … it’s complicated,” I sigh.
He brushes my hair back over my shoulder, his fingertips skimming over the skin on my neck. “Are you ever going to tell him what happened between us?”
I lift my eyes to his. “Yes…no…I don’t know,” I shake my head, disconsolately. Staring down at my toes, I curl them into the carpet.
We sit in silence for a long moment.
I turn to face Jake, but he’s not looking at me, his eyes are staring blankly at the TV.
“I just … I don’t even know what’s going on between you and me, Jake. I don’t know what this is.” I point my finger between the both of us.
He drags his eyes from the TV to mine, and he does not look happy in the least. “You don’t know what this is? Sorry, was I alone in that bed last night?” His eyes flick to the very spot where we had sex only hours ago.
“No, of course not. But this is your MO, Jake. This is just what you do.” I signal to the very same spot.
He climbs up off the bed, leaving me feeling a little bereft.
“Yeah, I always sleep with my best friends just for the hell of it. I fuck Denny and Tom all the time.”
Okay so that’s pissed me off.
“Well how the hell am I supposed to know what you do and don’t do, Jake? What your guidelines to sex are? You generally screw anything in a skirt!” My voice is raised, and I’m on my feet now facing him, the bed between us.
He gives me a long, hard stare. “Nice, Tru. Real nice.”
“Well it’s the truth!”
“Yeah, well that may be, but you’re not just any girl. You’re my girl.”
“What do you mean – I’m your girl?”
“You know exactly what I mean.” His gaze fixes onto mine.
I lose my breath and my stomach tightens.
“And at least I was always straight with those girls. They knew the score, I fucked them, showed them the time of their lives – they went home and I never saw them again – end of.”
“God, you’re such an arrogant prick!” I yell. “And wait – hang on – what? You’re saying I wasn’t straight with you?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
I drag my fingers through my hair. “I never said I was going to leave Will, and you never asked me too.”
“Un-fucking-believable!” He picks his jeans up off the floor and starts pulling them on.
My heart is pumping hard in my chest.
“Jesus Christ, Jake, just what exactly do you want from me?! You want me to leave Will so I can become your fuck buddy – your girl,” I air quote. “While writing your bio, and you get to carry on living your rock star lifestyle, screwing anything that moves!”
He pauses buttoning his jeans up and he stares across at me. The stormy look in his eyes makes everything in me come to an abrupt halt.
“I haven’t been near anyone since you came back into my life, Tru.” He runs his hand through his hair, hanging it off the back of his neck, he exhales loudly.
All I can do is stare at him, my blood heating, goose bumps racing across my skin.
“You ask what I want from you?” His eyes move to my lips, then my eyes. “I want you, Tru. I just want you. All day, every day.”
His words are so simple, so easy.
My heart stutters.
I’m stunned. I literally don’t know what to say.
He wants me? I wasn’t just another lay to him.
I have waited more than a decade to hear Jake say he wants me, and now, here, at quite possibly the worst time in my life he could say it … and he’s saying it, and I have no clue how to respond.
“What?” is the best I can muster up.
“I get it Tru, it was a one time thing for you, it’s fine – you want to stay with Will. Why would you want me?” he mutters, backing up, turning for the door.
It’s clearly not fine. And he clearly doesn’t get it. I’m not entirely sure I do.
One thing I do know is everything has just got so much more complicated than I could have ever imagined. But a very big part of me doesn’t care. Because he doesn’t just want one night. Jake wants more. He wants me.
“No. Wait.” I rush forward, grabbing hold of his arm, stopping him. “You’ve got it wrong. I thought this was just a one off for you. I didn’t know this … us … that you wanted an … us.”
He stares down at me with his blue, blue eyes. “It’s all I want.”
My heart sighs and scatters across the floor.
I look up into his eyes. “I’ve wanted you for the last decade, Jake. I want to be with you.”
He stares down at me, hope evident in his eyes. “And Will?”
Will.
“I’ll talk to him,” I swallow. “When I go back home after the tour. I’ll talk to him then.”