“No, I don’t believe that. Susie loves you. Yes, you’ve struggled in your past, understandably so because of what he did to you. But you’re not that person anymore, you took control and you’re stronger now.”
His gaze softens on me. He brushes his knuckles across my cheekbone. “Because I have you back in my life.”
I take hold of his hand, kissing it.
“Did you ever hear from him again?” I ask, lying back down beside him, keeping hold of his hand.
“Just before Jonny died. He’d gone through the money, like I knew he would. So I sent him four hundred grand. Thought it might keep him away for double the length of time. Then the next time I hear anything it’s from the authorities. I was listed as his next of kin. He had no one else. So it was left to me to bury him.”
“Well, he’s gone now, so we can leave all of that in the past where it belongs, and move forward – start our life together properly.”
“In LA.”
“In LA,” I smile. “Do you want a beer?” I ask, sitting up, letting go of his hand.
“Thought you’d never ask,” he jibes, and I feel a little of my Jake returning to me.
I grab a couple of beers out of the cooler, pop the caps off and hand him his, as he sits up facing me.
“To Lumb Falls, hot summers, and missing bikini tops,” I grin lifting my bottle and chink it against his.
“And more missing bikini tops to come,” he grins back at me, naughty Jake in his eyes, before taking a swig of his beer.
Resting his bottle against his thigh, he looks back over his shoulder, out at the darkened water of the falls for a long moment.
I wonder what’s on his mind?
I’m just about to ask when he speaks. “I almost died last year because of the drugs.” His face is still turned away from me.
My heart freezes solid in my chest. I guess tonight is the night for confessions from him.
“I drowned, and Stuart saved me,” he adds.
“What? When? How?” I’m up on my knees now, putting my bottle down.
Jake turns and looks at me. His gaze is dark and torn. It’s painful to see.
“It was after Japan. I know everyone thinks I went into rehab because of what happened there, but it wasn’t. When I got back to LA, I was worse than ever … I was using – a lot. A few nights after I was back, I was out partying and was, absolutely high off my ass. Dave took me home. He had to carry me out of the club and to the car I was in that much of a state. He wanted to stay with me, but I told him I wanted to be alone – well basically I told him to fuck off. I shouted him out of the house. I treated him like a piece of shit that night, and he didn’t deserve it. I’m lucky he stayed working for me.”
I’m glad he did to, because I think Jake would struggle without him, but I don’t say that.
“Stuart was out, I was alone. I passed out for a while on the sofa. When I woke the drugs had worn off, so I took another hit of coke, and sat out by the pool drinking tequila. Then in my blind wisdom, I decided to get in the pool,” he sighs. “The next thing I know, I’m puking up water, and Stuart is over me, holding me up.”
“He saved my life that day, Tru. I owe him everything. He called 911, kept it out of the papers.” He takes a drink of his beer. “Stuart went absolutely fuckin’ nuts on me at the hospital afterwards though. I’d never seen him like that before.”
“It’s understandable, baby,” I say softly, desperately trying to hold myself together. “If he hadn’t of got there in time … then…” I can’t even say the words. I can’t even bear to think how close he came, it’s scaring the hell out of me.
I gulp back my threatening tears. “And that’s when you went to rehab?” I ask.
He nods. “Stuart threatened to quit unless I sorted myself out. Said he’d watched me destroying myself for far too long … that losing Jonny had been hard on all of us, and he wasn’t going to stay around to watch me die too.”
“What did you say?”
“He’s the best in the business, that’s why he works for me and I couldn’t afford to lose him,” he shrugs. “So I agreed to go to rehab.”
He’s downplaying it. He loves Stuart like a brother, and he knew he was right about rehab.
“No one knows what happened that night, Tru. Not my mom or Tom, not even Denny. There’s only you, Stuart, and the doctors at the hospital who know.”
In this moment I despise Paul. More than I ever knew it possible to hate a dead person.
Jake struggles like he does, because of him.
“You can always trust me with anything, baby.” I touch his face. “I’ll never judge you and I’ll never break your trust, I promise you that. Just please … don’t ever go back there again. Promise me that you’ll never take drugs again.”
He kisses the friendship bracelet on my wrist. “I promise you … so that missing bikini top,” he says, gently pushing me down to the blanket, lying on top of me, he holds my hands above my head.
It’s an obvious attempt at a subject change, and I allow it. Jake sometimes needs sex as a way to rid his mind of his demons. And if that’s what he needs right now, then I’m more than happy to oblige.