When we reach our destination, I set the blanket down and retrieve the lantern that I packed into the picnic box.
“Can I borrow your lighter, baby?”
Jake crouches beside me, handing me his lighter.
I light the candle in the lantern and set it down beside the blanket, then hand his lighter back to him.
Taking it from me, Jake pulls me to him and starts to kiss me.
He eases me back onto the blanket, his tongue roaming my mouth, meeting with mine, stroking it.
Being back here with him, kissing me in the dark like this, with only the sound of the rushing falls around us, feels amazing.
“Thank you,” he murmurs.
“What for?” I push my fingers into his lovely thick hair.
“For this, bringing me here … for being you.”
“You like?” I check.
“I love. We should come back here once a year. Make it our thing. It is our place after all.”
“Once a year it is.”
He takes my face in his hands. “Just like this, Tru, late at night, just you and me, alone. No one around for miles.”
I nod my agreement. Jake kisses me once more, lightly on the lips, then moves off me, and lies down beside me, flat on his back.
Feeling content, I stare up at the night sky, with its gentle smattering of stars and bright glowing moon.
Jake lets out a light sigh.
Instantly, I know his mind and mood have shifted elsewhere, and I think I know where to.
Maybe bringing him here to Lumb Falls hasn’t been as effective as I had hoped.
I can almost feel his thoughts pouring out of his mind. I want to ask him what’s wrong, but I know with Jake it’s best to wait until he’s ready to talk.
“You called my mom and asked her to come didn’t you?” He turns his head to the side, looking at me.
Truth or denial.
Denial.
I want him to believe she came off her own back.
“No,” I shake my head, blinking.
“Tru…” He gives me the ‘I know you did’ look.
Biting my bottom lip, I release my sigh out through my nose. “How did you know?” I concede. “Did your mum tell you?”
He shakes his head, no. “I just know you.”
“Are you angry with me?” I screw my face up.
“No of course not.” He looks surprised.
“Are you angry with your mum?”
He presses his lips together and shakes his head.
No, he’s not angry, he’s disappointed, and that’s worse. Way worse.
“She didn’t realise how much it was affecting you, Jake. The instant I told her, she came off the phone and booked the next available flight to Manchester.”
Turning away from me, he looks up and the sky. I hear him exhale.
“He tried to rape her that night.” His voice is so quiet in the night air.
I turn on my side, facing him. “Your dad?”
He nods.
“He was drunk and high, he’d been out gambling, fuckin’ around like normal … he’d been gone for weeks.”
“I remember,” I breathe.
“I liked it when he wasn’t there. I always liked it best when he was off on one of his benders.”
“I know.” I put my hand on his chest over his heart.
“And that night he rolled home, broke, wanting money off mom like usual. It was late, but I was still awake. We’d been watching a movie together – I can’t even remember which one now, but she sent me to my room the second she heard his key go in the lock. She told me to lock myself in my bedroom and to not come out no matter what. I mean – what kid has to have a lock on their bedroom door, you know?” He laughs, but there’s no humour there.
“I didn’t want to leave her with him, but I did as I was told. I could hear them fighting downstairs. He wanted money and she didn’t have any to give him. Then he started beating her, like he’d done so many times before, and I could hear it and I just wanted it to stop, Tru. And I just knew this time was worse – I don’t know how, I just knew.” He drags his hands through his hair.
“Then I heard mom running up the stairs, trying to get away from him. He was yelling, and I could hear her screaming out on the landing, and I just couldn’t take it anymore – I just wanted to help her, I wanted him to stop hurting her. So I came out of my bedroom, and he had her there on the floor, and … she was covered in blood – her face was a mess, I barely recognised her and–” He pauses.
My heart is aching as I look at him, seeing him reliving that moment in his mind.
He turns his head and meets my eyes. “I saw the fear in her eyes, Tru. I’ll never forget that look – she was terrified for me and for her. Horrified that I’d seen it – seen what he was trying to do to her. I was only nine, but I knew enough to understand what was happening. Then I just started yelling at him to stop. I tried to grab him and pull him off her. But I was nine, and he was stronger than me. He just grabbed hold of me and tossed me aside like I was a fuckin’ toy – a fuckin’ inconvenience. We were near the top of the stairs, and I went down the full flight.”