It’s a hot August day here in Manchester, and I’m thankful for the sleeveless black linen dress I’m wearing and for the air-con in the BMW X5 which Dave is driving, taking us to Paul’s funeral. Stuart’s in the front next to him, and I’m in the back with Jake, who’s been staring out of the window since we left the hotel to make the journey to the crematorium. He’s wearing a black Armani suit, crisp white shirt and black tie, and dress shoes. It’s strange to see Jake in a suit, and even though he’s look absolutely amazing, breath-taking, I want him out of these clothes and back in his Jake threads. I want my Jake back.
I just hope the surprise, if you can call it that on a day like today, will help lift his spirit and bring him back to me.
I called Susie, Jake’s mum. I got her number from Jake’s phone when he was in the shower yesterday morning.
She wasn’t going to come to the funeral. Understandable of course after what Paul did to her and Jake. But she needs to, for Jake’s sake.
I’m doing everything I can for him, but for this, I think she’s the only person who can help him.
They lived it together, now they need to lay it to rest together.
It was weird speaking to her after all these years.
Once we got past the initial awkwardness, it was actually really nice to talk to Susie again. She told me that she’s really happy Jake and I have found each other again, and more so that we’re together. She said she always knew we were meant for one other.
I actually felt really teary hearing that.
Then I told her my reason for calling.
She took the first flight out of New York to Manchester. Stuart booked her into our hotel, but her flight was landing at lunchtime, so she’s coming straight to the funeral from the airport. Dale couldn’t come with her as he’s currently in China on business.
Susie and I are keeping our phone conversation between us.
That was my decision.
I don’t want Jake to know I called her. I want him to think she turned up because she wanted to be here for him.
Not that she didn’t want to help her son. Of course she does. She was just blinded by her own anger for Paul, understandably, and she just needed a nudge in the right direction.
Dave pulls the car down the long road to the crematorium. I feel Jake’s hand tighten around mine.
I lean close to him, and rest my cheek against his. “Are you okay?” I whisper in his ear.
He moves back from me, staring into my eyes. He looks so different, so little boy lost. It makes me ache for him.
I’m praying that Susie is already here waiting for us.
Jake lifts his hand to my face, tucking my hair behind my ear, he kisses me gently on the lips and murmurs, “You’re everything to me, Tru. You know that right?”
I nod, confused as to where he’s going with this.
He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Just … don’t ever leave me. No matter what – just don’t ever leave.”
I swallow down. He’s worrying me with these words.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m yours, Jake. You have my heart. I belong to you.”
Nervous and unsure, I lean in and kiss him lightly on the lips. But he grabs hold of my hair, kissing me harder, desperately, his tongue invading my mouth, claiming me. And it reminds me of the time he kissed me in bed when we were still having an affair. The first time he talked to me about Jonny. The desperation and intensity I felt then, I feel now, and more.
It’s almost like he’s trying to tell me something with this kiss. Something he can’t say with words.
When Dave pulls the car up outside the building, Jake’s already released me from his hold, and I see Susie is here, waiting with my mum and dad outside the building. I almost sigh with relief.
As Jake registers her, I see it on his face, the surprise, the relief; I don’t miss that, it almost breaks me.
Susie comes over to the car as Jake climbs out, me behind him.
She looks so different to how I remember her. I guess that’s what happiness and a lot of money can do for you.
“What are you doing here?” He sounds confused, angry … happy.
Susie looks up at him, shading her eyes from the sun with her hand. “I thought you might need me,” she says quietly. Reaching out, she takes hold of his hand.
I slip quietly away, leaving them both, and go over to my mum and dad.
“Hey, daddy.” I smile up at him, as he puts his arm around me, kissing the top of my hair. “Hey, mama,” I say, leaning forward to kiss her. “Thank you so much for coming, I know it will mean the world to Jake.”
“The only reason we are here is for you and Jake, baby girl,” my dad says to me.
I squeeze him tighter, hugging him. I’m so lucky to have a dad as wonderful as mine is.
Jake comes over to us with Susie a few moments later. She looks like she’s been crying, her eyes are a little bloodshot.
“Hello, Trudy,” she says. “It’s so wonderful to see you again.” She puts her arm out for me, and I step out of my dad’s embrace and into hers.
She kisses my cheek and whispers, “Thank you.”
I give her an understanding smile as she releases me. Then she takes hold of Jake’s hand, and they start to walk into the crematorium together. I follow behind with my mum and dad.
Then Jake stops, pausing, he turns and waits for me, holding his free hand out for me to take.
I slip my hand into his, and we all go into the service together.