After I’d cleaned his bleed up, I went in the bathroom looking for evidence of drugs but I couldn’t find any.
He’s adept at hiding his addiction. Now I just need to figure a way to out it.
“What do I do?” I ask Stuart, dropping my spoon onto the table.
“Confront him.”
“Will he deny it?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then what?”
“Keep trying. But, Tru, he won’t recognise the problem until he’s ready to – you need to know that, and be ready for the backlash that will undoubtedly come with it when you do confront him.”
I put my head in my hands. “I just can’t believe he’s back there again.” I lift my head. “This must be terrible for you, seeing him doing this to himself again … he told me what happened in LA … when you found him,” I allude to the rest with my expression.
“I’m glad he told you. It shows how much he trusts you.”
“Will you leave him now?”
Stuart looks at me surprised. “No. Why do say that?”
I knot my fingers together around the coffee cup. “Because Jake said you told him at that time if he carried on using you would leave, and I just thought as he is again … then maybe you would leave.”
I don’t think Jake would cope without Stuart. Honestly, I don’t think I could cope without him. I’ve come to rely on his friendship so much in these last few weeks.
He shakes his head, smiling. “I’d never leave him. I like the perks too much.” He rolls his eyes, ironic. “Jake’s like my family, just like you are now, chica.” He reaches over and squeezes my hand. My eyes fill with tears. “It was just an empty threat.”
“That worked,” I say blotting my eyes with a napkin.
“Yeah, but he was also ready by that point. He knew it, as much as I did.”
“Is that what I should do? Threaten to leave him.”
He shrugs. Leaning back in his chair, he pushes hair off his forehead. “Anything is worth a shot, but Jake will only get clean if he truly wants to … he loves you like no one before. I see the bond you guys have, so maybe the threat of you leaving might shock him into it. I know getting you back in his life meant everything to him. Maybe the thought of losing you again might just push him in the right direction.”
“But what if …” I pause, swallowing against my own words, eyes down, I tap my fingernails on the table. “What if I threaten to leave him, and he still won’t stop using?”
Stuart leans forward, closer to me. “Well, honey, before you do anything you have to decide if that’s the chance you want to take. The possibility of losing him. I don’t think you would ever lose Jake permanently, but temporarily? Maybe, yes, it could happen, if he’s not ready to face his problem yet.”
I don’t want to lose Jake. Not at all. Not even for a moment. But I don’t want this version of him either.
“I already lost my Jake the moment he took his first hit,” I sigh, lifting my eyes to meet Stuart’s. “And if I have any hope of trying to get him back, then I’m going to have to confront this version of him, and simply go from there, no matter what happens.”
The second I get back to our suite at the Ritz, I instantly know something is wrong. I can practically feel Jake’s tension radiating through the air as I push open the door.
“Where the fuck have you been?!” He’s on me the instant I’m through the door. “Don’t you answer your goddamn cell anymore?!”
I sigh inwardly. Here we go again.
“Hello to you too,” I bite.
“I’m not fuckin’ kidding, Tru.”
“Neither am I.” I give him a hard stare as I walk past him.
Getting my phone from my bag I see I have ten missed calls and five voicemails.
“I was out having coffee with Stuart,” I say putting my phone back in my bag and dropping it onto the table.
“I called him too and he didn’t answer – why not?”
“I don’t know, I’m not a mind reader. Maybe because he was out with me? Maybe because it’s his day off? Why don’t you ask him?”
I turn around to see Jake pacing the floor, anger clear on his face.
I don’t know what’s wrong with him right now, but it seems we are going to have to get past whatever this is before I can have the drugs talk with him.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask, walking toward him, hands out.
I’m trying the soft, tactical approach; it’s the only way with him at the moment.
Jake can be irrational at times. Drug taking Jake – always irrational.
“This is what’s wrong.” He marches away from me, leaving me dead in my tracks, and goes over to the desk, grabs an envelope off it and marches back, shoving it in my hand.
“What’s this?” I look down at it confused.
“Open it the fuck up, and then you can answer me the very same question.”
I stare across at him puzzled, then back down at the envelope.
Okay, so whatever it is has got him majorly pissed off.
Apprehensively, I peel the seal back on the envelope, reach in and put my fingers around what feels to be photos.
Yep, it’s photos.