I watched her for several minutes, drinking my beer as she flitted through the assembled crowd. A smile here, a laugh there. She had hidden it pretty well, but then I knew her better than most. She caught my eye just then, and her unspoken request lodged in my brain.
For Vinnie. If I can do it, you can do it.
I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile, and she smiled back, then turned her attention to the small group she was with.
I sought out the birthday boy amongst the crowd of fifty or so people, resplendent in his Batman t-shirt and black jeans. The mask hadn’t lasted long, now hanging loosely around his neck, held on by the thin piece of elastic. God knows who had thought of the theme – ‘What I Want To Be When I Grow Up.’ A nod, no doubt, to Vinnie’s newly acquired milestone age. Even when we were kids, Vinnie had been a Batman freak, running around the back yard with a black cape and a mask not too dissimilar from the one that now hung around the back of his neck.
Not me, though – I was drawn more towards Spiderman. The freak, the outcast, the loner. That was exactly how I felt, right up until Em and I had begun dating. She had shown me that it was okay to be myself. More than that, she had shown me that she loved me for it. Four years of learning what it meant to love and to be loved for who you are, not who you were expected to be, and then it was gone. She was gone.
I took another swig of beer, actively searching for a distraction. I didn’t want to wallow. I’d allowed myself that last night, for all the good it did me. Tonight wasn’t about me or Em, it was about Vinnie.
“So,” Marlow said, wandering over to me with a grin. “Where’s this new chick? Can’t see her anywhere.”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Someone probably warned her about you and she gapped it.”
He clapped a hand over his heart, wincing. “Dude. Low blow.”
I grinned, my first real smile of the evening. “You can stand down. She’s not even your type. She’s a brunette.”
He sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. “Ah well. The search continues.”
Marlow’s obsession with busty blondes was legendary. He drained his beer and belched loudly.
“I need another drink,” he announced. “Want one?”
I raised my half-empty beer bottle at him and jiggled it. “Nah, I’m good.”
“Suit yourself,” he wandered off, and I saw him detour to the buffet table. “Whoa, are those what I think they are?”
I smiled, taking another sip of beer. I could always rely on Marlow to lighten the mood. I spotted Joel on the other side of the room, deep in conversation. He glanced over and I raised my beer at him in greeting. He returned the gesture and went back to his story. Everyone seemed to have somewhere to be, someone to talk to. I should be sociable, make an effort, but I wasn’t feeling it.
What I was feeling was annoyed. I wiggled my toes inside my shiny black loafers. Shoes had been a mistake. I should’ve come barefoot, costume be damned. I glanced around the room, searching out Bridget. Finally, I found her, talking to Maia in the doorway to the kitchen.
Bridget wore a long, flowing dress and had a guitar strapped to her back. Maia was the only one at the party not dressed in costume. She wore a long white, tiered cotton skirt and white lace-trimmed singlet. In this light, she looked ethereal, like something out of a dream, and I couldn’t help but stare at her, although I’d been actively avoiding her until now.
I didn’t know what to make of her. Her obvious physical similarity to Em disturbed me, but watching her from a distance, that was where the similarity ended. Em had been confident, sure of herself, the life and soul of the party. By comparison, Maia seemed kind of lost, just as Bridget had said yesterday. As if she wasn’t sure she should be here. I found myself feeling sorry for her.
Jas floated over to join their conversation. She rubbed her pregnant belly, rolled her eyes and they all laughed. I couldn’t hear what was being said above the music, but I could see that Maia was beginning to unwind and relax a bit more. After a few minutes, Jas flitted away and it was just the two of them again.
Bridget caught my eye, then beckoned to me. Maia smiled, and my stomach suddenly nosedived. Any sympathy I’d been feeling for her went out the window. I snapped instantly back into self-preservation mode as I slowly made my way through the crowd, behind the counter and into the kitchen. I was suddenly acutely aware of my costume choice.
“Come on, Agent Kay,” Bridget laughed, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer.
“It’s Jay – Kay was Tommy Lee Jones. Jay was Will Smith,” I said, as they openly studied my ‘costume.’
I was wearing my so-called ‘funeral suit’ – black and far too hot for this time of year – with a white shirt and black tie. Perfect ‘Men in Black’ attire, complete with a toy gun tucked into my jacket pocket. It was an easy costume, but not a particularly inspired one. Regardless, I had thought it showed commitment to the party, and to Vinnie.