Was it time? Could I tell her? I couldn’t give her the details – I wouldn’t. But shouldn’t she know? Shouldn’t she know I didn’t do anything? Didn’t she deserve to know what a fucking useless bastard I was?
“I had just won my last fight,” I heard myself tell her. “There was always a big victory party and dinner and shit afterwards when it was a big fight. This one had gone on for four days, out in the middle of the desert in Nevada somewhere. I came out barely scratched and was pretty fucking pleased with myself. I think I netted over two million on that tournament. God knows what Landon and Franks made off of it. They flew us all back to this big resort in Seattle afterwards. There was this luxurious balcony which looked over a dance floor and bar and shit like that – a live band, lots of tables and hookers and people just partying. I was standing near the edge, just watching the people and getting my back patted by the guys who won something off my performance as they walked by. There was another guy with me – Gunter. Franks was his uncle.”
“Gunter Darke. The man who killed my father,” Raine said softly.
“Yeah, he’s the one who was put away for killing all of them.”
“He died in prison.”
“Yeah, pissed off the wrong motherfucker, I guess.” I tightened my grip around her middle and closed my eyes as the memories rushed over me. “He was standing with me, and I was telling him about the last contestant I had killed when he suddenly stands up straight and points out over the crowd.”
“See that guy?”
“Which one?” I asked.
“The one on the far left side of the bar, with a Manhattan in his hand,” Gunter said. “Big guy, dark jacket, dress shoes, no tie. Fuck! There’s two of them!”
“Two of what?”
“Cops, Bastian – they’re fucking cops.”
“How can you tell?”
“I can fucking smell them,” Gunter said with a grin. “Just watch the way they walk – strutting with their arms out to their sides like they’re wearing guns even when they aren’t. You ever seen those two before?”
“Don’t think so.”
“Fuck! Hey, Franks!”
“I don’t know how he really knew they were cops, but he did,” I said. “Franks flipped out and had security haul them up to the balcony. When they didn’t answer his questions about what they were doing there, he had security go through the whole fucking place. It took a couple hours, but in the end every single person who couldn’t be vouched for by one of the bosses was hauled up there and lined up against the back wall. Sixteen of them altogether.”
“Those are all the people Gunter Darke killed.”
“Yeah, but he…he didn’t just kill them. Fuck, if he had just shot them all in the head, I probably wouldn’t have left. I probably wouldn’t have testified. I’d probably still be fighting. What he did…shit. I can’t even tell you what he did to the guys, Raine, let alone the women. I don’t want you to ever fucking think about it.”
“I think I know enough,” she admitted.
Thank God she wasn’t going to argue that point.
“I started to…I don’t know…go over there. I don’t know what the fuck I was going to do. Stop him? John Paul and Landon, they held me back. Said I’d just get myself killed, too. I should have fucking done something. I just stood there and watched it all. Two of Franks’ bigger security guys were holding them, and Franks was giving Gunter suggestions about what to do next, and I just fucking stood there and fucking watched it happen…”
I stopped, a sob coming out of my throat, unbidden and uncontrollable. Raine laid herself back in the sand, scooting down so when she reached around my head and pulled me to her, my cheek was pressed against her shoulder. One of her arms wrapped around my shoulders, and her other hand ran through my hair, holding me tight against her. I tried to focus on her touch and her scent filling my nostrils, but whether my eyelids were opened or closed, all I could see was their eyes as each of them realized they were next. All I could smell was their blood. All I could hear were their screams.
“I didn’t do anything, Raine. I didn’t help your dad…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I’m so fucking sorry…if I had known you then…I would have done something to help him, I swear I would have, Raine…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
“I know, Bastian.” Her arms tightened around me, and she held me as close as she could. I could hear her crying, too. “There was nothing you could have done. I know there was nothing you could have done.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why were they there, Bastian? What were they all doing there?”
“I have no fucking clue, baby,” I answered. “I don’t know how your father got there or why he was there. During the trial there was another cop who testified – I think he was a supervisor or something – and he said they had been off the beat. He said they weren’t supposed to be in that area at all and they hadn’t radioed in to say they were going to investigate something.”