“I don’t understand that, either.”
“Because you are worth it,” she said with determination. I started to argue, but she placed her little hand right over my mouth and told me to shut up. “I love you because of you. Not because you’re strong enough to kill people. Not because you know everything there is to know about how to survive out here. Not because you’ve saved my life over and over again. Certainly not because you’re the only guy in the general area.”
“I love you because you are worthy of my love,” she continued. “I love you because you show me every day how much you care about me and how much I mean to you. You show me when you worry about me getting sunburned, when you make sure I eat a bunch of different things to stay healthy, and when you make love to me. I love you because under all that brawn, you are gentle and caring. I love your internal strength and willingness to persevere, no matter what life has thrown at you. I love you because when you recite poetry to me, I can hear in your voice how much you mean it. I love you more than anyone and anything in the world, and I can’t imagine my life without you now – not here, not anywhere else.”
She moved her hand away from my mouth and sat back, her arms crossed.
“And don’t you dare say to me that my love is misplaced, because it’s not. I love you, Bastian Stark. You are worthy of it, and nothing you say is going to make that change.”
I didn’t know what to say. Any words I could have invented on my own would have been inadequate, so I used someone else’s.
“Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings fast to the heel that crushed it.”
Raine’s eyes met mine again, her tears still staining her cheeks.
“I’m a heel, Raine,” I told her. “You’re my beautiful violet, and I’m always crushing you. You take away my nightmares, and I probably add to yours. I don’t think I will ever believe I deserve you, but I love you more than I can even describe. I don’t know if I can ever…be better for you, but if you’re willing to keep forgiving me for being a complete idiot, I’m willing to keep trying.”
“You are forgiven, my strong, beautiful, gentle idiot.” Raine’s smile covered me in her love.
While the wind and rain battered at our shelter, I reached up and pulled her down to me, my lips gently caressing hers. I rolled her onto her back on the mattress and showed her how much her words meant to me the only way I knew how.
*
If I really wanted to, I could have figured out exactly how long it had been since we arrived on the island, but I didn’t really care anymore. On the raft I paid attention based on how many days of water we had left, but here it was not an issue. If I was going to estimate, I’d say it had been about two months since the ship sank, but I didn’t know for sure and most importantly, I didn’t give a shit.
“I’m going to go wash off,” Raine informed me. She smiled shyly and looked away, which just about made me laugh out loud. I’d fucked her three times since lunch, barely letting her up long enough to get something to eat before I was in her again, and still she played bashful when she looked at me.
Fucking incredible.
“It’s your own fault for wandering around naked all the time,” I said with a grin. “I can’t help but take advantage.”
“Shall I stop?”
“Fuck no!”
Raine quickly kissed my cheek and walked off into the edge of the waves. I smiled as I watched the curve of her ass come into better view like I was some pervert checking out the high school cheerleaders. I admired the late evening sun shining off her smooth skin as she sauntered away, swaying her hips in such a way that she had to have been doing it on purpose. My cock twitched even though the little fucker ought to be tired out at this point. What can I say? I was always going to want her right here on this beach as often as possible.
I lit one of my homemade Lobelia smokes and leaned my back against a coconut palm tree. Raine had given me some shit for making them, but she eventually gave up and seemed to be content with rolling her eyes at me when I pulled one out. They weren’t chock-full of nicotine, like I would have preferred, but they did a pretty decent job of making me feel like I was smoking a Marlboro 100. If I only had a bottle of vodka to go with it, I’d be set.