Racing for Freedom

chapter Thirty



“Lucas!” I cry, grinning and leaping at my friend.

It’s been three weeks since that awful night at the track and I have recovered well. I’m grateful that I had time to recover for the semi-finals because I would have never been able to race with the damage done to my ribs. Lucas has finally come back after his time away, and seeing his face makes my heart swell with happiness.

“Dash! I’ve missed you!”

He swings me around and I giggle. “Me too, I’m so glad you’re back!”

He puts me down and looks over me. “I’m sorry I didn’t call, I just needed…”

I frown and put my finger up. “Don’t, you don’t have to explain anything.”

He grins and nods. “How are you feeling? Big race is next week?”

“I’m nervous,” I admit.

“You’re gonna kill it!”

I beam. “How are you feeling?”

His face twitches just a touch, but he keeps his smile. “I’m good, I have realized I’d rather my friendship with you to last, then I would to lose it over something so petty. I am moving on, I’ve accepted you’re with Slade and I will get over it. I don’t want to lose you Dash.”

I nod, biting my lip. “I don’t want to lose you either Lucas, thank you for coming back…I was so worried you wouldn’t and…”

He cuts me off with a finger to my lips. “I would never just leave you without a goodbye.”

I grin and punch his arm lightly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Do you need a ride to the track?”

He looks over my red and white racing shirt and I smile. “That would be great.”

He leads me to his car and we begin driving to the track. Slade is working so I am going to do a few practice rounds. Dad has been onto me to get my ass into gear and get these corners perfect. I smile when thinking about dad, he’s come so far. He goes out a little more each day, usually it’s only to the track but yesterday he ventured to the grocery shop. I’m proud of him for that, because I know the effort he has to put in.

“So, what did you do when you went away?” I ask Lucas, then lean down to play with his radio.

“Just went and visited my brother in Sydney. It was good, I got my head cleared.”

“Oh, well, that’s great Lucas.”

He smirks and looks at me from the corner of his eye. “Don’t sound so convinced…”

“I am! I’m happy for you.”

He laughs and we begin singing along to the song on the radio. I’m so glad this hasn’t ruined our friendship. I was so worried he’d come back and things would be weird but they’re not. We talked a little on the phone over the past two weeks and slowly things got easier for us. Our friendship is everything to both of us.

When we arrive at the track, it’s quiet. I head over to the garage with my key and get my car out. Lucas follows, chatting to me about his brother and his wife as we walk. I laugh and joke with him a little longer before he tells me he has to get to work. With a quick hug, he’s gone and I’m alone to practice some more. I get in my car and start her up, then I begin doing some warm up laps.

I do lap after lap once the warm up is over and I’m onto my serious practice. It’s not often I can get down to the tracks to practice alone, but John gets me access a couple of times a week. I pick up my speed as I glide around the bends. I’ve learned this track, I know it in my head and slowly the corners are getting easier but they’re still so frustrating and I still can’t get them at a good speed. When I stop my car, I’m angry. I am practicing but I can’t get these corners perfect and until I do, I won’t get a good place in the race.

I get out of the car and snarl a curse, kicking the tire. Dammit, seriously, dammit. I hear a chuckle behind me and I spin to see Slade leaning against a pole grinning at me. Stupid beautiful man and his stupid beautiful grin. He saunters over wearing a black shirt, tight black jeans and a backwards cap. Damn him for looking so f*cking perfect all the time. His aqua eyes twinkle as he approaches and wraps his arms around me. I huff and grumble at him, which only makes him hold me tighter.

“You’re so f*ckin’ cute when you’re mad Dashy.”

“Shut up, Slade!”

“What’s wrong baby?”

“It doesn’t matter, you will only love it!”

“Try me.”

“I can’t get the damn corners!”

He slides his lips over my forehead. “They’ve always been a problem for you, eh?”

“Yeah, and I know you don’t care because it’ll mean you probably take the championship, but I can’t get them and it’s frustrating the hell out of me.”

“Now Dashy, I need a decent competitor and you’re the only one who will give me a run for my money, I need a good challenge so let me help you.”

I frown up at him and he kisses my nose. “You want to help me?”

He grins. “Yeah, I do. Come on, get in the car.”

“What?”

He opens my car door, slides in and shoves the seat back. He spreads his legs and pats the seat.

“Come on.”

“That’s dangerous Slade!”

“We won’t go fast, come on.”

I grumble and slide in the car, nestling myself half on his leg and half on the seat. He reaches his arms around and grips my hands, placing them on the steering wheel. He rests his hands over mine, curling his fingers over so we have a good grip on the wheel. He reaches down, starts the car and whispers, “Let me move your hands Dashy baby, you just do as I ask.”

I nod, swallowing and tingling at his closeness. His breath is on my ear and his voice gives me shudders where shudders shouldn’t be.

“Get us moving, keep her at sixty for now.”

I put my foot on the accelerator and Slade moves our hands to change the gears. I let him have complete control over my hands, trusting him wholeheartedly.

“Let me see how you take the corner, just do it as you normally would.”

He gives my hand some slack as I approach the corner. I instantly begin slowing and my hand wobbles a little. He doesn’t say anything as I round the corner. When we get out the other side, he clenches his hands again and takes back control.

“At the next corner, do as I say ok?”

I nod, swallowing. We approach the next corner, and I let Slade take the control.

“Don’t let those hands shake, always look at where you’re going out, not where you’re coming in. Watch the exit Dashy.”

I stare at where the corner ends and focus on that. When I go to lower my speed, Slade tells me not to. With trembling legs, I keep my foot down. When we begin going around the corner I tremble a little but he holds my hands steady.

“Watch that exit, the car will go with you.”

I watch the exit and my mouth drops open as the car slides smoothly around the corner. Just as we’re coming out of it, Slade tells me to speed up. I press my foot down harder and the car glides beautifully out of the corner.

“Oh god, all along, that’s what I was doing wrong?”

“Always look at the exit, it helps. Now pick up the speed and try the next one a little faster. We won’t go over a hundred, we’ll keep it safe.”

I follow his instructions and glide through the next corner at full speed. A squeal escapes my throat and he laughs in my ear as we pick up speed and continue to take the corners smoothly. When we finally come to a stop, I spin around and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing his cheek and lips over and over.

“You’re amazing!”

He chuckles. “Well, if I was going to get this kind of love, I would have done it sooner.”

I find his lips and I slide mine over them, heating them up with my desperate kiss. He groans and wraps his arms around me, pushing me back into the steering wheel and sliding his tongue into my mouth. I whimper and bite his lower lip, sucking and tasting him until we’re both panting. I want him, I want every part of him. I reach down and grip his pants, and his eyes widen.

“Here?” he whispers.

I nip his lip again. “Here, now.”

I shift and with great struggle, manage to remove my jeans. I get his down just enough to give me access. I find his lips again and our kiss becomes desperate and passionate. I whimper and tangle my hands in his hair as his fingers find my heat, gently stroking me to shuddering point and then slipping his fingers out and causing me to cry out and grip him.

“Hush baby, let me play.”

I groan when he slides into me and uses his hands to adjust my hips. I grip the seat behind him and throw my head back, crying out his name as my first release tears through my body. He had me so on edge that it happened almost instantly. He groans and uses his hands to raise and lower my hips over him, gently sliding me over his length until he’s groaning and tensing for me too.

“Slade, god, more…”

He growls and throws his head back, thrusting into me so hard my back slams against the steering wheel. My hands are on his shoulders, my nails are sliding over his skin as he moves me and I find my release once more. When he finds his own release, his groans fill the car and he grinds out my name as he shudders. I let my back slump against the steering wheel as he gently drags the last of his pleasure out and then drops his head onto my belly.

“Jesus, best racing lesson ever.”

I giggle and slap his arm. “Slade!”

He shifts me and puts me down on the passenger seat, then grins over at me. “You look gorgeous right now, Dashy.”

I grin and take my jeans, giving him my best fake glare before shuffling them back on. Oh my, every touch against my skin has it tingling. Slade notices my slight moan and smirks.

“It’s always nice to know I do a good job.”

“Jackass,” I smirk.

He leans over and grips my face. “Fraid’ so.”

I giggle as he bites my ear and then I sink into him. Things couldn’t feel more perfect for us right now. Little did we know that was all about to change.

~*~*~*~

Slade and I are curled up on the couch with Payton and Dean the night before the big race. We’re all so nervous for Slade and I, so we’re trying to find a way to calm the thoughts running through our heads. I know Payton is hoping I’ll win, and Dean is going for Slade, but it’s my own thoughts that bother me. What if I beat Slade? Will it cause a problem in our relationship? What if he beats me? Will I be angry?

I’m happy with Slade and I want nothing to get in the way of that but I also know that winning is something we both want and one of us has to lose. I snuggle closer to him, part of me wondering if this will be the last time I snuggle with him like this. I shake the thought from my head and focus on the movie playing in front of us. Meet the fockers, funny, witty and very entertaining. Slade chuckles and it rumbles through me. I smile and hug him close.

A loud banging on the door causes me to jump. Payton looks over at me from her position on Deans lap, and I shrug. Slade groans. “Who is that?”

He gently moves me and stands, walking over to the door. When he opens it, all I see is him stumbling backwards like he’s tripped over. I stand up, completely dazed. What? Then I see Michael and my blood goes cold.

“You little f*ckin’ bastard, I knew it was true, I knew it!”

“Dad,” Slade growls, hesitantly stepping forward.

Michael raises his hand again but notices the rest of us staring at him. He lowers it and glares at me.

“How could you f*ck the competition Slade, how could you?”

“It’s not what you think,” Slade whispers.

“Get out here, get out here now. You’re coming with me, you’re not staying here.”

“Dad no, I live here.”

“You lying son of a bitch,” Michael roars, shoving Slade.

“That’s enough!” Dean yells, storming over.

One look from Michael has him stopping in his tracks. Even I’m not game to walk over there.

“Get in the car Slade, NOW!”

“No,” Slade whispers.

“What did you say to me?”

“I said no, I won’t get in the f*cking car. I won’t because I’m done with this. I’m racing for me tomorrow and when I win, I’m branching out on my own.”

Michael’s face turns to pure rage and he begins trembling. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get in the car, now.”

Something in Michael’s expression has Slade sighing and stepping forward.

“Slade, don’t,” I whisper.

He turns back to me and forces a smile. “I’ll be fine, I’ll see you at the race tomorrow Dashy.”

I shake my head, feeling sickness rise. No, he can’t go with Michael. I rush forward and grip his arm as Michael storms towards the car.

“Slade, no…”

He strokes my cheek. “I have to win a race tomorrow Dash, and he needs me to. He won’t hit me.”

“Slade…”

He kisses me softly. “I love you.”

I blink up at him and tears well in my eyes. “You do?”

“Yeah, I do. Whatever happens tomorrow, you make sure that this,” he uses his finger to indicate both of us, “stays the same.”

“I promise,” I whisper, stroking his cheek. “And Slade?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

~*~*~*~

To say I’m nervous is an understatement. I feel sick with nerves as we drive to the track the next day. This is it. This is everything. If I lose, I go back to racing locally until next year’s finals. I didn’t hear from Slade again last night, but I can’t seem to shake the sick feeling in my stomach. I’m sure when I see him this morning, I’ll feel ok again. My father grips my hand as we near closer to the track.

“You’re going to do fine, Dash.”

I force a smile. “I know dad, but this is everything you know? It’s the end or the beginning for me.”

“Even if you lose, it won’t be the end. Next year will always be there.”

I smile, even though I am not so sure if I will do all this again if I lose.

“I know, thanks dad.”

When we arrive at the track, it’s buzzing with people. My father walks me towards the area where my car is lined up. John comes rushing over, his face flushed with excitement. I smile at him and return the hug he gives me. It’s mildly comforting.

“How are you feeling, Dash?”

“I’m ok, a little nervous but ok.”

“You’ll do great, just keep your head in the game.”

“Is Slade here?”

“I haven’t seen him.”

I feel that twist in my stomach again but I squelch it and listen to everything John and my father tell me. When I glimpse Slade walking towards his car, I know something is up. He doesn’t look so flash, but when he meets my gaze he gives me a smile. I return the gesture but something in his eyes tells me he’s not ok. I excuse myself and rush over, not seeing Michael anywhere.

“Dash, you can’t be over here,” he says in a strained voice when I reach him.

“You don’t look so good Slade, are you ok?”

He nods. “Of course, just a long night fighting with dad.”

“Are you ok?”

He nods, swallowing. “Sure, I’m fine.”

“Why are you slouching?”

He leans against his car, his features scrunching in pain.

“It’s nothing, just a few bruises.”

“He beat you!” I cry.

“It was a few hits, I’ve had worse. Dash, you can’t worry about me now. I’m fine, I can race, it’s no big deal. I’m used to it.”

“Slade, this can’t keep happening!”

“Dash, today could change our lives, you have to go and get ready.”

I stare at him, and a big part of me doesn’t want to leave him.

“Slade are you sure?”

He forces a smile. “I’m fine Dash, see you on the track in a few hours.”

I kiss him softly before turning and making my way back to my car. The day is going to be long, we spend the first four hours of the morning going through the junior races and then the drag cars. Then comes the middle racing group. By the time we actually gear up for our final race, it’s three in the afternoon. I haven’t seen Slade all day, because I’ve been pulled and spoken to by just about everyone here. I’ve chatted to sponsors, had my picture taken, done interviews and barely found the time to even sit down.

By the time I’m getting ready to get in my car for the race, I feel sick with nerves. I spot Slade just before sliding into my car. He’s leaning against his and his face is pale. Something is wrong, he just doesn’t look right. Before I can go and see him, our names are called out over loudspeaker. The crowd goes wild and I’m forced to turn my head away from Slade. I send a silent prayer up that we both make it through this.

I can hear the roar of the crowd as I begin my warm up laps. I try to focus on the road ahead, not the screaming crowd around me. I see Slade’s car pass mine a few times and it gives me some comfort. By the time we do our burnouts in prep for the race, I’m sweating and trembling. God, I can’t believe I’m finally here. All the years of racing, all the years of pain and heartache and here I am. My dream is finally close enough to reach. I close my eyes, smiling at the memory of the first time Slade and I raced our cars together at the old beach tracks.

“You know I’m going to let you win, Dashy.” Slade smiles.

“That’s not fair Slade Devaroe. You can’t do that. It’s not a fair race if you let me win.”

“I know, but the look on your face when you lose.”

I’m sixteen and feisty as all hell. I throw my hands on my hips and snap, “Or perhaps you’re just too scared I might actually beat you.”

He grins and points to himself. “Me, lose? I don’t think so.”

“Scared of a girl, Slade?”

“Never.”

“Then race me for real, don’t let me win.”

He scrunches up his face, and then breaks out into a breathtaking grin. “Alright, fine, I’ll give you all I’ve got.”

I smile at him. “You know, you’d let me win in a big race just to stop my hurt, wouldn’t you?”

He laughs and wraps an arm around me. “What can I say, I’m a sucker for those eyes.”

I giggle. “Let’s do this for real Slade, me and you, just us and the road.”

“Alright Dashy, you’re on.”

A tear pricks my eye and burns as I remember that day. Slade won, of course, and I made a big deal of it even though I was hurt. He never bragged or shoved it in my face though, he held me for hours after telling me it was such a close win even though I’d been behind him by a fair stretch.

“Slade Devaroe and Dasha Jewel, the race that will determine one of their futures.”

The loud voice snaps me back to reality. Jesus, I need to focus. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and then open them and lay them on the road ahead. I can do this. I have to put my love for Slade aside, I have to focus. I have to be the best I can be. When the lights show and begin to flick through, I ready my car. Remember what Slade taught you, remember those corners. When the light turns green, I surge forward. Adrenalin has my heart thumping so loudly I can hear it in my ears, even above the roar of my car.

I glide ahead with ease, taking the first turn at full speed. Pride swells in my chest and I keep going, picking up speed. Slade’s car is right beside mine. At a point, he surges ahead and I begin to panic. No, keep calm Dash, keep calm and keep focus. I surge around the next corner, gaining speed over Slade. I accelerate, picking up the speed until I’m zooming so fast the people beside me seem like no more than blobs of colour.

By the third lap, I’m easing into second, then first, then back again. It’s a damn close race and I honestly don’t know who’ll go over that finish line first. By the fourth lap however, Slade seems to be slowing down and taking the corners far more harshly. I feel my stomach twist again as I glance quickly at his car in my rear view mirror. Is something wrong? Or is he just backing off so he can zoom past me at the finish?

When we hit the final lap, I can hardly breathe. I’m so excited and nervous. I’m in the lead and I’m taking the corners better than any race I’ve ever had. Focusing on the finish line, I don’t notice that my world is changing behind me. I take the last two corners and when I soar over that finish line, my squeals of victory quickly turn into screams as I see the car to my left flipping across the grass. I know that car, and my blood runs cold as it smashes against the side rails and burst into flames.

I don’t even feel myself open my door, all I know is I’m running across the grass and I can’t hear anything but the sirens blaring in my ears. People are screaming and being held back by security. My vision blurs as I get closer and closer to the car. Oh god, please, let him be ok. When my numb legs finally get me close enough, I see they’ve pulled Slade out and he’s on the floor, his leg is already black with bruising, blood trickles from his mouth and his eyes are flickering around in confusion. He’s awake, oh god, he’s awake.

I shove through the people, and drop to my knees beside him. The paramedics try to pull me away but I want no part in it. They continue working on him as I reach out for him.

“Slade, oh god, Slade…”

“Miss, we need you to move.”

“No,” I scream. “No please.”

Slade reaches out for my hand, his eyes are hazy and blood trickles from his mouth. I make a loud sobbing sound and hiccup as I take his hand. His skin is cold and his face is pale.

“You won…” he croaks.

“I don’t care,” I sob. “I don’t care, Slade, please don’t leave me…”

He smiles weakly and then makes a strange sound in his throat. “I didn’t let you win, you did it all on your own, I’m so proud of you.”

His eyes roll then, and I cry out, trying to reach him as the paramedics pull me back. His body jerks and suddenly he’s thrashing on the floor and people are screaming around me, shoving me out of the way as they drop to their knees.

“Slade!” I cry.

“He’s crashing!” Someone cries, just as everything goes black.