“Where’s Mom?” I asked firmly, trying to get Gavin to focus. My face hardened and I felt my heart freeze over. I should be crying. I had been an emotional wreck for the last twenty-four hours. But now, when the worst had come, I found that I was like a block of stone.
“She’s back with him. She won’t leave his room. Fliss tried to get her to leave but she refused. You need to get down here,” Gavin said and I thought how ridiculous it was that me, the baby of the family, was always called on to make things right. That out of the three of us, I was by far the most levelheaded sibling.
Gavin, even though he had a respectable career as a teacher, still lived his life like a teenager, refusing to commit to his long-term girlfriend and still coming to mooch out of Mom and Dad’s pantry several times a week.
Felicity was married with kids but she still relied so much on Mom to help her make decisions in her life. She rarely did anything without running it past our parents first as though afraid to make a move without their approval.
Then there was me. I was off at college, determined to live my life on my own terms. I was the independent woman my mom and dad had raised me to be. So when shit hit the fan, I could be called on to find the reason when there didn’t seem to be any.
And that’s what my mother needed now. And clearly Felicity and Gavin weren’t going to give it. And as much as I loved and appreciated my siblings, in that moment I just felt irritated.
“I’m on my way. Just leave her be until I get there,” I directed my brother before hanging up. My brain was now in disaster recovery mode. I quickly put on my bra and shirt. I found my bag and pulled out my brush, running it through my hair. No sense going to the hospital, right after my father died, looking like I had just had my brains fucked out.
God, what kind of person was I that while my dad was dying, I was screwing the guy who up until yesterday, I was determined had no place in my life? I was a stupid, selfish brat. And I hated myself for missing out on the chance to be with my father, one last time, and was instead getting naked in their spare bedroom.
“Stop it, Riley,” Garrett said suddenly, pulling me out of my bleak thoughts. I looked up at him in a mixture of annoyance and confusion.
“Stop what?” I barked, knowing that I was once again taking my negative feelings out on him and he was absolutely the last person to deserve that. But I couldn’t stop the malice that poured out of me. I glared at him with scorn.
“You’re going to start blaming yourself. Hell, I can see you’re about to blame me as well.” I curled my lip at him in irritation.
Garrett gripped me by the arms and forced me to look at him. “But you can’t do that to yourself. You could do nothing to change what happened. And you can’t start regretting your choices now, it’ll drive you crazy,” he said firmly, giving me a little shake.
“And please, don’t say you regret us and what just happened. Not after everything,” his voice broke and I could only shake my head.
“I can’t do this right now, Garrett. Okay? I need to get to my family,” I bit out, pulling away from his grasp.
Garrett hurriedly buttoned up his shirt. “Then I’m going with you,” he said, leaving no room for argument.
“You don’t have to…” I started but Garrett cut me off by kissing me soundly on the mouth. I blinked up at him in surprise.
“I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Let me be there for you,” he said and I nodded, unable to find the words to answer him.