Looking up at him, she blinked away her tears before reaching for her purse. “Jordie, I want to lean across the table and kiss you, I do. I want to ride off into the sunset and know that we’ll live happily ever after. Believe me, that’s something I truly want. But you want me right now. Because of how it was when you had me before, you know I’m good for you. But what’s gonna happen when you meet someone else? When you decide you’re done with me? Then what? Or if you hit another dark spot and you don’t want to share it with me, pushing me away in the end. Jordie, I’ll be right back where you left me. I’ll be heartbroken and alone.”
He was shaking his head before she even finished. “No, that won’t happen,” he said. She looked up as a tear slowly rolled down his face, and it honestly murdered her to see it. He never cried. Never. But with his heart in his eyes, he admitted, “I’ve learned from my mistakes, I have. And, baby, you’re it.”
But could she believe him?
Kacey’s tears were falling in sheets down her face and it was killing him to see. He hated when she cried. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, it hurt. It was like little daggers were falling from her eyes and stabbing him over and over again in the chest. He wanted to comfort her, take her in his arms and tell her how sorry he was, but he didn’t know what else to say. He’d said everything he had in his heart, and all he could do was pray it was enough.
The way she was looking at him though, it didn’t seem like it was.
It took everything for him to do that. He didn’t care to share his secrets, his issues, but he would do it for her. He would do anything for her but, for some reason, she wasn’t seeing that. She was caught up on one detail that, yes, was shitty, but he saw no other way. If he hadn’t pushed her away, then she would have been subjected to all the shit he was feeling, and he couldn’t do that to her. It wouldn’t have been fair. He loved her more than that.
Clutching her purse to her chest like a shield against him, she nodded. “I need to go.”
His heart sank. “But you haven’t eaten,” he said, grasping at anything to keep her there. He wasn’t done talking. There had to be something to reach her, to make her realize how shitty a place he’d been in and how he could never have been the man she needed.
She made a face. “I’m not hungry.”
Oh yeah, he was in deep shit. Those words never left her lips. She was always hungry.
“Kace, please don’t leave.”
But she was already getting out of the booth. He took her hand, stopping her, and she looked down at him, adjusting her purse as he held her hand, his thumb slowly covering each bump of her knuckles on her hand.
“Please,” he asked, but she shook her head.
“I need space, Jordie. Please.” She slid her hand from his, but instead of walking away, she leaned over, pressing her lips to his cheek. He closed his eyes, his hand coming up to cup her face, holding there, breathing in her scent. He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew he had to. He had to trust that she’d see that he meant everything he said. He had to.
“I’ll wait,” he said. “I’ll wait forever,” he whispered, his lips ever so close to hers.
She pulled away, tears rushing from her eyes, and then she was gone.
Slowly, he let his head fall before letting out a long breath. That didn’t go like he’d hoped it would. He’d been convinced that just getting her there was the key. Once he said his peace, she’d take him back in a heartbeat. But oh, how wrong he was.
“Um, you still eating?”
He looked up at the waitress, sniffing back his own tears. He felt like a failure, something he hated feeling. “No.”
Their waitress made a face before gathering their plates. “Do you want anything else?”
A Corona and, hell, even a margarita.
But despite his craving, or better yet his crutch for getting rid of the feelings he was feeling, he shook his head. “No, thank you. Just the check.”