Epilogue
Angel
I picked my camera up off the mantel, and crept toward the plush sofa pit group that we had gotten for the new house. It was a slate gray micro-fiber that was soft and comfy. We had a kick-ass coffee table and matching end tables that Cole had built himself. He’d started making furniture, wooden pieces, tables, mostly, as a business. He’d converted the large outbuilding behind the house into his workshop. He was really talented. His stuff was awesome, and I loved every piece he made. I wanted to put every one of them in our own house, but he persuaded me that he had to have some pieces to sell, otherwise he wasn’t going to be able to send our kids to college.
I knew this wasn’t exactly true. He’d told me about the money, and he’d been smart with it. There was a good chunk set aside for the kids. But, I got his meaning. He wanted to make his business a success, with an actual income. So, he told me, ‘No more pieces for the house, baby’.
Crash had thrown into the business with him, although his area of expertise was wrought iron. Turns out the kick-ass wrought iron candle sticks and barstools at Cole’s house were the work of Crash. He had a ‘flare for metal’ he’d told me with a smile. His stuff was awesome, and some of our biggest sellers.
I, on the other hand, it turns out, was good at selling. I’d gotten a job with a local Porsche dealer. I only worked three days a week, but I still brought home a nice paycheck. Plus, I got the added benefit of getting to drive a sweet ride. It was a loaner, of course, but still. And I got to dress up, something I came to find out, my husband liked as well.
With Cole working from home, and Natalie living with us, I didn’t have to worry about putting the kids in daycare. Natalie, by the way, was still seeing Mack. Something that shocked me at first, but after I saw the way they were together, I couldn’t help but be happy for them.
I loved our new house. The sunken living room was one of my favorite rooms. It was a great place for the whole family to hang out, and I absolutely loved the big stone fireplace. The deck off the back was great, too. And it had an awesome view. We were secluded, the house set back off the road, and I loved the big pine trees that surrounded the place. It was a great house for entertaining, something which we often did, like today.
We’d celebrated the twins 3rd birthday today. And it had been a full house. We’d grilled out in the backyard. The kids’ big present from us had been a fabulous wooden play-set that their father and Crash had built. It had a slide, swings and this awesome tower that was part fort, part castle.
They loved it.
Everyone had just left about an hour ago, and Cole had fallen asleep on the big sofa group. He was stretched out in the left corner of the sectional. His head propped against the soft back cushion. Lying along his right side, between him and the back of the couch, was Melissa. She was snuggled up into his armpit, with her head on his chest, her little arm wrapped around his abs. Her little mouth was open, and she was sound asleep. TJ was curled on the opposite side of the corner, his legs going out to the section to the left, his head tucked under Cole’s chin, lying on his shoulder.
I crept closer. I wanted to capture the moment, which was something I loved to do, and something Cole thought I overdid. I got them all in the frame, and clicked off several shots. I pulled the camera down, and scrolled through the shots, smiling. I knew exactly where I was going to put this picture, once I got it framed.
“Babe. Took a ton of pictures. Enough, already.”
I looked up. Cole was looking at me.
I smiled. “This one’s my favorite. The perfect ending to a perfect day.” I put the camera down on the table, and knelt next to Cole’s head. I reached up, and brushed the hair back from his brow, then I ran my fingers through his hair, again and again. It was something I loved doing, and something he loved me to do. I would often do it late at night, when the kids were in bed, and it was just the two of us. It often put him to sleep.
“Love the way you touch me, babe,” he murmured with his eyes closed.
I leaned down, and kissed his mouth. “This was a good day.”
He opened his eyes, and looked over at me. “It was a great day, mama.”
I always called Melissa my little ‘sugar-bear’ and TJ my little ‘honey-bear’. Cole had taken to calling me ‘mama-bear’, which then often got shortened to just mama.
I smiled at him.
“You throw a good party. Which, gotta say, has me torn. Love that people love to come over here, but not crazy about havin’ a house full every weekend.”
“It’s a great house, sweetie. People love to come out here.”
“People love to come here, babe, because you have a wonderful way of makin’ ‘em feel welcome. And I love that about you. Just gotta say, missin’ the quiet. Like our alone time, babe.”
“Understood. I’ll slack off on the invites.”
“Appreciate it, mama.”
“I love you, Cole.”
“Back atcha, babe.”
I rolled my eyes. “So romantic.” I started to get up off my knees, but he grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.
“In case I don’t say it enough, in case you got any doubt, let me clarify. Love I feel for you, babe? It’s rock solid. Ain’t nothing gonna shake it.”
I smiled, feeling like I was going to start tearing up. My baby. He could say exactly the right thing, and he often did.
“No tears, babe. This is a good day.” He kissed me. “Let’s get our brood to bed.”
I gathered up TJ, and Cole scooped up Melissa, her little body nestled against his shoulder, her limbs hanging lax. I followed him up the stairs. I loved watching the children in my husband’s arms.
We had gotten married almost immediately after I got to California. It was just a small ceremony. My newly wealthy husband offered me my choice of honeymoon destinations. He was a little amazed when I told him my choice. We went back to Big Sur, and stayed in the very same cabin we’d stayed in years ago. It had to be cabin number nine, my husband told the woman when we checked in. It was, and it was perfect.
We got the children tucked in, and headed back downstairs. Cole, to lock up, like he did every night, and me, to wipe the granite counters down in our beautiful kitchen. I was standing at the kitchen sink, rinsing out the dishrag, when I felt his arms slide around me from behind, the warmth of his body coming up against my back. I felt his head dip to the side of my neck, and his mouth hovered over my ear, and he whispered, “My baby got something to tell me?”
I froze.
He knew. How could he know? It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him. I did. I just was holding my little secret for just a little while. It had only been a day, really. Suddenly, I was choked up. My throat closed, and I couldn’t say the words.
“Mama, you gonna share?” he asked softly.
I nodded.
“Some news, a man gets from his woman, it’s a moment in life. We havin’ a moment?”
I nodded again, my throat closing even more at his sweet words.
“Kinda wanna hear you say it, mama.”
I took a deep breath. “I’m going to have your baby, Cole.”
His arms tightened around me, and we stood that way for a moment. He took a deep breath. “Peace, baby. All the way down to my soul. All that dark? It’s gone. Just light now. And that’s all because of you and the kids.”
“Oh, Cole.”
He held me in his arms for a while.
“How did you know?”
“My baby loves her Bloody Mary’s. Crystal made you a Bloody Mary today. Saw you take it, and thank her. Saw you put it aside later, untouched.”
“Oh.”
He held me close, and his hand slid low to cover my stomach. “Gonna get to see you carryin’ this one, babe. Gonna get to feel it moving inside you. Can’t wait.”
I broke down into sobs.
He gently turned me in his arms.
I buried my face in his chest.
Surprised, he stroked the back of my head. “Baby doll, you’re happy about this, right?”
I nodded, my head moving against him.
“Then what is it?” he asked, his head dipped to the top of mine.
“I’m scared.”
Both his hands slid into my hair, and he tilted my face up to his. “Why you scared, baby?”
“Melissa. What if this one’s sick, and-”
“No, mama, don’t go there. The bad is all in the past. This family is not lookin’ back. We’re only lookin’ forward, and forward is all good, mama.”
“Okay, honey.” And it was. It was all good.