CHAPTER Twelve
Three years later-
Angel sat in a leather armchair. Looking at her from behind his desk, was the latest in a long line of doctors she’d met with over the past year. They all had different titles and specialties, some she couldn’t even pronounce. But they all had one thing in common. They would build up her hopes, just to dash them the next time she met with them.
This one wasn’t so bad. At least he didn’t bullshit her. He gave it to her straight. The brass plate on the wall outside his door read Pediatric Oncologist.
“Ms. Wells, there’s no way to sugar coat this. You’re not a match.” He watched her reaction. “I’m sorry.”
She exhaled her breath. “And TJ?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.”
She felt like she’d had the rug pulled out from under her…again.
“If they’d been identical twins-”
“I know. Fraternal twins only have a one in four chance of matching. I know the statistics.”
“Again, I have to remind you, the father still has a good chance of being a match.”
She looked out the window. “The father…” she stopped. How does one explain that there was a fifty-fifty chance that he was either an outlaw biker she had no contact with anymore or he was a man that had raped her, and has been lying dead in a ravine for several years? She looked back at the doctor. “Yes. I had hoped it wouldn’t be necessary to…to find him. But this leaves me no choice.”
“Of course we will continue to try to find an unrelated donor that matches, but as you know, the number of people willing to even be screened for bone marrow transplants are very low and-”
“Yes. Yes, I know.” She looked down in a trance.
“Ms. Wells, can my staff help you locate the father? Perhaps an internet search or-”
She snapped out of it. “No, thank you, Doctor. He’s…he’s not the type to have one of those Facebook pages. I’ll try another way.”
“Are you sure?”
She got up to leave, but then turned back. “How long do we have?”
He looked her in the eye. “The sooner, the better. She’s in remission now, but there are no guarantees how long that will last.”
She nodded, and walked out.
Angel walked into Melissa’s room. There were pictures of kittens taped to the walls. The hospital bed made her daughter look that much smaller than her little two-year-old body should have looked. She was so small for her age, anyway. The illness did that to her.
Leukemia.
She hated that word. It had occupied her every thought for the last eight months that they had been fighting it. Ever since the day she had noticed the small lump on the back of her precious daughter’s neck.
The rounds of chemotherapy had left her little head bald, and the radiation had done a job on her, too. Her only hope now was a bone marrow transplant. But they had to find a donor that was a good match if they wanted her to have the best chance.
Angel leaned down, and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Mommy’s here, Melissa. I have to go away for a day or two, but Aunty Nana will be here with you. I love you, baby girl.
She knew her daughter was sleeping from the medications, and probably didn’t even know she was there, but Angel always talked to her anyway.
She straightened up, and left the room, heading down to the waiting area. Her mother’s sister, Natalie waited there. When Angel entered, Natalie stood up from the chair she had been sitting in. She was holding TJ.
Angel walked over, and took her son in her arms. She tousled his blonde curls, and looked into his big blue eyes. “How’s mommy’s little man? Are you being good for Aunty Nana?”
He nodded his head, and then wrapped his arms around her neck, and gave her a big hug.
Angel squeezed him tight, and smiled. “You always know when mommy needs a big hug, don’t you sweetie? What would I do without you?”
“Well, what did he say?” Natalie asked.
Angel just shook her head, she tried to fight the urge to burst into tears.
“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I was so hoping…” Natalie started to get choked up.
They hugged each other.
“I have to go to California,” Angel whispered.
Natalie pulled back. “To look for him?”
Angel nodded. “I only pray he’s their father. And that he’ll help us.”
“I’ll watch over Melissa. I won’t leave her side. TJ and I will be fine.”
“No,” Angel said, shaking her head. “I have to take TJ with me.”
“With you? But why?”
“So he can get a look at him. It might convince him. TJ looks so much like him. At least…at least I think he does.”
“Angel, I thought you told me you couldn’t be sure, with everything that happened to you.”
She turned to her aunt. “You think I’m only seeing what I want to see?”
Natalie nodded.
*****
Angel turned the wheel of the SUV she’d rented at the airport, and made the turn onto the dead end street. She was pretty sure this was the right one. The clubhouse should be the last building at the end. That is, if it was still their clubhouse. It had been three years since she’d been here.
She slowed as she came up to it. She saw the bikes. She was relieved, and scared to death at the same time. Angel looked in the back seat. TJ was fast asleep in his car seat.
The chain link gate was open, and she pulled into the lot. She made it to the back corner, before they stopped her.
Two prospects held their hands up.
Angel braked to a stop. From where her SUV was parked, she could see the backdoor that led into the clubhouse. She pressed a button, and the driver’s side window slid down.
“I think you must be lost, ma’am. This is private property,” one of them said to her.
“I know what it is. I’m looking for Cole. Is he here?”
They were a little thrown by that. “Who wants to know?”
Angel undid her shoulder belt, and climbed out of the car. She saw their eyes slide over her. She had chosen her outfit with care. No detail was left to chance, not even the Chanel sunglasses she wore. She wasn’t about to come back here looking like the scared little twenty year old she had been. She meant to let them know she wasn’t going to be intimidated.
She had on a gold pencil skirt that perfectly matched the shade of her tousled, expertly styled, blonde hair. Her silk blouse was a shade lighter. There was nothing to compare to the perfect fit of well tailored, expensive clothing. Several thin, gold chains were draped around her neck. She had matching 14kt gold hoop earrings and a gold cuff around her wrist. Her suede, high-heeled pumps cost more than her car payment.
“Damn!” one of them said, looking her up and down.
“You a lawyer?” the other one asked.
“No. I’m not a lawyer.” She glanced over at a group near them. She thought she saw Crash. “Is that Crash over there?” she nodded with her head. “Would you please ask him to come over here?”
One of them jerked his head to the other, who walked over to Crash. She watched as he turned to look in her direction. He stared a moment, and then walked over to her.
“Can I help you, darlin’?” he asked.
“Hello, Crash,” she responded.
He cocked his head. “Do I know you?”
“We met a couple of years ago. There was some business at the Dead Souls clubhouse that I helped you guys out with.”
His mouth dropped open.
“I need to speak with Cole. It’s very important. Could you please get him for me?” She smiled at him.
“Yeah. Yeah, sure. Wait here.” He turned, and walked toward the door.
Angel looked over at the group near the door, who were about fifty yards away. There were about half a dozen guys standing around near the door. She thought she recognized Cole by his blonde hair. He had his back to her, and his arm around a girl.
Angel watched as Crash approached him. Crash said something to him, and then she saw Cole turn to look over in her direction. He stared for a long moment, and then his arm came away from the girl, and he headed toward her. The girl started to follow him, until he stopped, and turned back to her. He said something to her, and Angel could see him point back towards the door.
He turned, and walked toward Angel again.
She recognized the way he walked. It was him. He was dressed pretty much the same as the last time she’d seen him. The cut, a tee shirt under it, pair of jeans. He was smoking a cigarette. As he got closer, she could start to see the features of his face. He still had the soft, golden facial hair along his jaw and around his mouth.
He got to within twenty feet of her, and tossed the cigarette to the ground. She saw his eyes travel over her and the vehicle, but she didn’t think he recognized her.
Stopping a few feet from her, Cole looked her up and down. Then he looked over at the prospects, and jerked his head. “Beat it.”
They walked away.
He turned back to her, looking her over. Crash had to be wrong. This couldn’t be Angel. Then she reached up, and pulled her sunglasses off, and he was looking into those emerald green eyes he remembered so well. He stood motionless, stunned. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. After all these years, here she was, standing there, looking stunning. “Angel?” he whispered.
“Cole.” She smiled.
“You look gorgeous,” he breathed.
They stared at each other.
“How have you been?” she asked.
“Okay.” He couldn’t take his eyes off her. He couldn’t think what to say. All the old feelings came rushing back. Including how it had torn him up when she’d left. After all her talk of him not knowing what she needed. When the fact was, she’d run. All the way back to Daddy. He’d put money on it.
“It’s been a long time, I know.” She looked down.
“Three years. But who’s counting.”
Her head snapped up. He had a smile on his face, but it didn’t’ reach his eyes. His eyes seemed cold.
Angel looked over his shoulder. The girl he’d had his arm around was walking up.
“Cole, who’s this?” the girl asked.
Angel noticed she was a pretty thing with long dark hair that hung to her waist.
Cole looked back at the girl, and pointed back at the door. “I told you to get the f*ck inside,” he yelled.
The girl retreated.
Angel flinched. Somehow this wasn’t the Cole she remembered. Or maybe she’d just built him up in her head.
The sound of crying filled the air. It snapped Angel out of it.
Cole looked back, startled. Realizing the sound was coming from inside the SUV.
“Now look what you’ve done!” she snapped. She turned, and stepped over to the driver’s side window. Leaning her head in, she said, “There, there, Honey-Bear. Mommy’s right here. It’s okay.”
Mommy? Cole walked over to the rear door, and jerked it open. He looked in at the child strapped in the car seat on the other side. A stunned look crossed his face. He studied the child’s face, his blonde hair, his big blue eyes.
Angel stepped over, and tried to push him back.
He wasn’t having it. He grabbed her arm, and twisted.
“You’re hurting me,” she said, glaring into his eyes. Their faces were a couple of inches apart.
His eyes dropped to her mouth, and desire ricocheted through him like a bolt of lightning. He let go of her, as quickly as if she’d burned him. “Why’d you come here?” he asked harshly.
He could try his best, but she wasn’t going to be scared off. Not when she had so much to loose. “I need to talk to you.”
“We’ve got nothing to talk about.” He raised his eyebrows in a smirk. “Did you come here to tell me that’s my kid?”
She shook her head. “No. This isn’t about him.”
A knife went through him. He realized in a split second just how badly he’d wanted it to be true. Then who was the father? The thought of her with another man, having another man’s child, did something to him. “What, then?” he snapped.
She took a deep breath. She looked around. Every person on the lot was looking at them. “Is there somewhere we can talk? In private? Please.”
He looked at her a long moment. He would have denied her in an instant, if it wasn’t for that last word she’d whispered.
She watched him, sure he was going to refuse. She could see the struggle on his face. He wanted to send her away. He wanted to, badly.
He took a deep breath, and looked back at the others. Then he held out his hand. “Give me the keys.”
She looked at him curiously, and then slowly held the car keys out to him.
He shut the rear door, and opened the driver’s door, and climbed in.
She stood staring at him.
“You coming?”
She snapped out of it, and walked around, and got in the passenger side. He pulled out of the lot, and down the side street. He never looked at her, but she noticed he glanced several times in the rearview mirror, looking at TJ.
He drove a few blocks, and pulled into the parking lot of a boarded up grocery store. He put it in park, and turned the engine off. He sat quietly for a few moments, and then finally looked over at her. “You wanted to talk?”
She took a deep breath. She’d rehearsed this a hundred times on the flight out here. Now that she was here, looking at him, she was having a hard time finding the words to start.
“Darlin’, if ya got something to say, say it.”
She nodded. “Okay. Look, as you used to say, I’m going to give this to you straight. No sugar coating. It’s a long story, but I’ll try to make it as brief as possible. Please don’t stop me until I’m done. Okay?”
He studied her, a frown forming on his face. She really had him puzzled now. Just what the hell was she about to tell him? “Okay.”
“Nine months after I left here, I gave birth to twins. TJ and a girl, named Melissa.” She paused to take a breath.
His left hand had been resting on top of the steering wheel, his thumb tapping against it unconsciously, but his hand stilled in an instant. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at her, his brain trying to process it all. For some reason, it stalled on the girl’s name she’d chosen. Melissa. He still thought of Angel every time he heard that song.
“When Melissa was about a year and a half, I noticed a lump on the back of her neck. She has…” She looked down, and swallowed, finding it hard to say the dreaded word. “She has Leukemia. She’s been through chemotherapy, radiation, more horrible stuff than any child should ever have to endure.” Once she’d started, the words poured out. Her voice was a little shaky, and she tried to get it all out before she broke down completely.
He sat frozen, taking in her every word.
“She needs a bone marrow transplant. It’s her only hope of beating this. The donor has to be a strong match for this to be successful. “I’m not one. Either is TJ.”
“You need a donor? That’s why you’re here?” he asked, stunned, turning to look out the windshield.
“There’s a fifty-fifty chance you’re her father.” She watched him turn, and look at her. “Or her father may be lying out in a ravine somewhere, decomposing.”
“Shit.” He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket.
“Please don’t’ smoke around him,” she asked.
He paused, glancing back at the child, then turned, and yanked on the door handle and practically vaulted out of the car. Angel opened her door, and walked around to him. He shook a cigarette out of the pack, and bent his head to light it. He tilted his head back, and blew out a stream of smoke.
Angel stood watching him. She knew this was a lot to dump on someone all at once.
Cole glanced over at her, his eyes traveling over her again. “You look like you’re doing okay. I hardly recognize you.” He changed the subject. He wasn’t ready to talk about the fact that he may be a father. He needed a minute to process that.
She crossed her arms, and looked away. “Why? Because I’m not that scared, little twenty year old anymore. Dressed in cutoffs and-”
“You were beautiful, even then,” he said, cutting her off.
She met his eyes, and he looked away.
He took another hit off his cigarette. “Did you find yourself a wealthy husband? One that can afford to keep you in designer clothes?”
“No. No husband.”
He looked back at her, and asked the one question that had haunted him for three years now. “Why’d you leave like that?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, stunned.
“No good bye. No note.” He studied her. “I come back, and just find you gone. Mack said you took a cab, and left.”
“What?” Her arms came unfolded. She looked at him, stunned, and a little pissed. “That’s not what happened!”
“You know what, it doesn’t really matter anymore.” He tossed his cigarette into the distance, and turned to get back in the vehicle. Maybe he didn’t really want to know the answer.
“Like hell it doesn’t,” she snapped, grabbing his arm, and pulling him back around. “You’re going to hear the truth, damn it!”
He stared at her, and jerked his arm out of her grasp. He didn’t want her touching him. If she did, he’d loose it, and the walls he’d built to guard his heart, walls he’d carefully, painfully built, brick-by-brick over the last three years would come tumbling down.
“You left me!” she yelled at him.
“What?” He stared at her. What the hell was she talking about?
“That morning when I woke up alone, I thought you’d come back. I waited-”
“Evidently not very long, babe,” he interrupted.
“Mack called me into that room.” She pointed in the general direction of the clubhouse. “He told me you’d left, and wouldn’t be back for a couple of days-”
He interrupted her again, shaking his head. “No, Angel, I was back in a couple of hours-”
She continued, talking over him, “He said you told him to make sure I got a cab home. And to tell me it’d been fun.”
“What? I never-”
She kept going. “Guess your brother wanted to get rid of me. I wrote you a note. Left it on your bed. Did you read it?”
“There was no note.”
“Gee, wonder who could have gotten rid of it. Just like he got rid of me.”
Cole shook his head, trying to make sense of all this. He couldn’t have been wrong all this time, could he?
“Look, it doesn’t matter.” She threw her hands in the air. “What I need to know is if you’ll help my daughter.”
When he heard her say, ‘it doesn’t matter’ something inside him snapped. His look darkened, and he advanced on her.
She took a couple of steps back, and felt the vehicle pressed against her back.
He put his hand on the vehicle, and leaned into her, bringing his face to within a couple of inches of hers. “Don’t you mean ‘our’ daughter?” he challenged.
They stared at each other.
Her eyes dropped to his mouth, and she remembered the feel and taste of it. “Yes. I…I hope ‘our’ daughter.”
His gaze wandered over her face, stopping at her mouth. He stared at her full lower lip, and longed to run his thumb over it. He couldn’t believe she still had the power to stir him like this. Even with as much as he’d tried to hate her all these years. And now all he could think about was being on top of her, inside of her. He dragged in a deep breath. He couldn’t let himself think about that, think about her again. It would open up the wound again. So, he did the only thing he could think to do to protect his heart. He lashed out at her. “Guess I’d be the lesser of two evils, huh, baby? At least my body’s still alive and kicking, huh?”
“I’d forgotten just what a bastard you could be,” she whispered.
“Baby, the man I was? He was nothing compared to the bastard I’ve become.”
“Be a bastard then, maybe you’re beyond saving. But your daughter is not. If you can’t save your own soul, at least try to save your daughter.”
He stood staring at her. She didn’t know how close to the truth she was.
Angel closed her eyes, and took a breath. She wasn’t going to get anywhere like this, and she couldn’t afford to fail her daughter now, not after everything Melissa had gone through to get well. Angel wasn’t above begging. She swallowed, and looked into his eyes. “Please, Cole. I need you. Please, help her. I’m begging you. I’ll get down on my knees, if I have to. If that’s what you want.”
He looked at her with something akin to horror. He could hear the desperate plea in her voice. He took a step back, and turned away, shaking his head. He ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath.
Shit.
He couldn’t stand to see her like this, torn to pieces. She’d actually said she’d get down on her knees, by God. His Angel. She shouldn’t be down on her knees to anyone, least of all him. But, she needed him. Their daughter needed him. It had been a long time since anyone had needed him. No matter how much he needed, for his own protection, to push her away, he couldn’t turn her down. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. “What do I have to do?”
Angel closed her eyes, and thanked God. She took a deep breath. “It’s a simple test. They swab your cheek, and draw some blood. Test it to see if you’re a match. You can do it here, locally. You don’t have to come to Phoenix.”
“That’s where you’re living? Phoenix?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Your Dad still a cop?” he asked, looking off in the distance.
“Would that matter?” she countered.
He shook his head. “No.”
“My father died about a year ago. Shot to death during a traffic stop.”
He looked over at her. “Sorry.”
She nodded. “At least, he got to know his grandchildren before he died.”
At her words, Cole glanced back at the SUV. The topic he’d pushed aside. He was a father? He took a deep breath, and walked around it to the side that held the car seat, and opened the door. He leaned in, and looked at the boy, who stared back at him with wide eyes and started to cry.
His son.
My God.
He felt like the wind had just been knocked out of him. Like the fates had just given him a sign, a reason, an explanation. ‘Here it is, boy. The reason you’re here on this earth. What it’s all been about. That missing puzzle piece.’
It was staring back at him with wide blue eyes.
Angel pushed Cole aside, and reached to unbuckle the car seat straps. She pulled TJ out, and held him. He was clutching a small teddy bear. He put his head on his mother’s shoulder, and stared at Cole.
Cole stared back at him, dumbfounded for a moment, and then he sucked in a deep breath, regaining his equilibrium. Shaking his head, he looked over at Angel. “I can’t get over it. You’re a mom.”
Angel smiled.
Cole reached up, and patted TJ’s back. “Hey, little guy. It’s okay.”
Angel knelt down, and set TJ on his feet. He had on tiny red high-tops and denim overalls.
Cole squatted down in front of him, studying him. The boy looked exactly like the pictures he’d seen of himself as a child.
TJ turned, and buried his face in his mom’s shoulder.
“I guess he’s a little shy,” she explained. “And tired. We’ve been traveling most of the day.”
“Yeah,” Cole agreed. “I guess he’s beat.”
“I need to get him back to the motel.”
Cole nodded. “Sure. I need to get back, too.”
Angel put TJ back in the car seat.
Cole drove them back to the clubhouse. He pulled into the lot, and parked, leaving the SUV running. He glanced back at TJ for a moment, and then he opened his door, and climbed out, leaving the door open.
Angel got out, and came around to the driver’s side.
“You got a number I can reach you at?” Cole asked.
“Yes. Of course.” She turned, and reached into the vehicle for her purse.
Cole couldn’t help but run his eyes over her as she bent over. He felt the hot thread of desire shoot through him.
She turned with her purse in her hand. Pulling out a business card, she handed it to him. “My cell number is on the back.”
He looked at the card, and back at her. “Sales Rep, huh? Royal Imports, what’s that?”
“Jaguar, Mercedes, Alfa Romeo…” She shrugged.
Cole whistled, and raised his eyebrows. “Expensive shit. Guess a man and his money soon part when the sales rep’s got legs like yours, huh?”
She smiled. “Something like that.”
“Right.” His eyes slid over her expensive clothes. “You must sell a bunch of these.”
“I do alright.”
He nodded, looking off in the distance. “I can see that. Looks like you’ve done real well for yourself.” His eyes came back to her. “I think I liked it better when you needed me.”
She looked him in the eyes, and whispered, “I do need you.”
At her soft spoken words, another shot of desire tore through him. He looked away. “How long you in town for?”
“Our flight out is at noon, tomorrow.”
He shoved the card in his pocket. “I’ll call you.” And then he turned, and walked away.
Angel watched him, wondering if she’d hear from him before she left. “Please, Cole. I need you,” she whispered the words, and then turned, and climbed back into the SUV.
She looked back at him, and then pulled out.
Angel stopped at a fast food drive-thru, and got a kid’s meal for TJ, and a burger for herself. Then she drove back to the motel. She carried TJ and their food inside. They had a room on the lower level in the back. It was quiet, and suited their needs.
There were two double beds and a small table with two chairs. She set TJ in one of the chairs, and put his food on the table.
He ate hungrily.
She sat in the other chair, and took off her shoes.
TJ offered her one of his fries.
She smiled, and leaned down, and he put it in her mouth, and giggled. “Thank you, Honey-Bear.” God, how she loved him. “Let’s call Aunty Nana, and see how your sister is doing.” She pulled out her cell phone, and punched in the number.
“Hey, it’s me,” she said. “How’s Melissa?”
TJ shoved a chicken nugget in his mouth.
“Good.”
TJ reached for the phone. “Me, me.”
“You can talk in a minute, sweetie,” she promised, then spoke into the phone. “Yes, I talked to him. We just came from there.” She handed TJ his milk carton. “I don’t know. I think so. He asked what he’d have to do. Said he’d call me.”
TJ was blowing bubbles through his straw.
“Now, I guess we just have to wait, and see. Say a prayer.” She reached for a napkin to wipe up the milk TJ spilled. “Okay. TJ wants to talk to you.”
She held the phone up for him.
“Hi, Nana!”
After they talked for a while, Angel took the phone back. “Yes, of course. I’ll call you. Tell Melissa I love her. Okay, bye.” She hung up, and looked at TJ. “Well, buddy, how about a bath?”
After she had given her son a bath, and he had fallen asleep in one of the beds, Angel sat on the other one, and flipped through the channels on the TV. She stared at the screen, but all she could see was Cole.
He’d looked exactly the same, yet somehow he wasn’t the same. Something had changed him. He seemed colder, harder, The life he led, who knew what shit he’d done in the time since they were together.
Three years.
Sometimes it seemed like yesterday. They’d spend just nine days together, yet those few days had shaped her life. A life she wouldn’t even have if it weren’t for him. She knew that now, even if she hadn’t really grasped the fact at the time. If he hadn’t taken her from Chuck that night, she’d be dead, her body probably dumped in the desert.
Yes, Cole had saved her life…and then he’d broken her heart.
She was devastated when she’d left that day. Riding away in that cab, she’d felt used and betrayed. How could they have shared what they had, and then for him to have just walked away? Like it had been nothing to him. Like she had been nothing to him.
Now he claims that’s not what happened. She’d often wondered since that day, if it was just Mack that wanted her gone, if the things he’d told her were true. What would have happened if Cole hadn’t left that morning?
She shook herself. What was the point in torturing herself with all this. It didn’t matter anymore. The only thing that mattered to her now were her children.
Her cell phone rang.
It was after ten. Her first thought was of Melissa. Something had happened. She jumped off the bed, and dashed to the table where she’d left it. Picking it up without looking at the number on the screen, she answered in a panic, “Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me.” Cole’s voice was in her ear.
“Oh, hello.” She grabbed her chest, relief sinking in.
“You sound shocked. I said I’d call.”
“Yes, I know. It’s just late, and I thought maybe it was the hospital calling. That something had happened to Melissa.”
“Oh. Yeah, sorry to call so late. I guess I didn’t think.”
“No. That’s okay.”
“Where are you staying?”
“The Daylight Inn by the airport.” She frowned. “Why?”
“Can I come by? Talk to you?”
“Ah, TJ is asleep, and-“
“Please.”
That shocked her. Cole asking please? “Alright. I guess so.”
“What room?” he asked.
“106. It’s in the back.”
“Be there soon.” He disconnected.
Fifteen minutes later, Angel heard the distant roar of a motorcycle. It got closer, and closer. Pulling the curtain back, she saw him roll around the corner, and coast into a spot. She watched him cut the bike off, and dismount, then pull his helmet and glasses off. She moved to open the door.
Cole looked up at her, and moved toward her, his eyes never leaving hers.
Angel felt a jolt move through her body. He still has the power to unnerve me. She stepped aside, and he came in.
His eyes immediately went to the sleeping child laying on the far bed.
“Sit down,” she offered, indicating the small table and two chairs. She sat in one chair, crossing her legs.
He pulled the other over near her, and sat.
They were so close, their legs were almost touching. She waited for him to talk, not really sure why he’d come.
He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “I’ve thought about you. Many times,” he said softly, looking down.
Of all the things she thought he might say, that wasn’t one of them. She stared at the top of his head. His blonde hair looked a little longer now. It was still shot through with lighter streaks. She longed to reach out, and touch it.
When she didn’t say anything, he looked up. “I’ve wondered, ya know?” he shrugged. “What would have happened…with us.”
Angel nodded. Staring into those blue eyes of his, she felt like she was in a trance. She’d forgotten how attractive he was. She took a breath, and looked away. “I’ve wondered, too.”
“I didn’t send you away.”
She looked back at him.
He was shaking his head. “I never would have ended it like that. I never would have hurt you like that.”
“Why did Mack tell me that you did?” she asked.
Again he shook his head, and looked down. “I don’t know. I guess he…felt you were a threat somehow.”
“A threat to what? The club?” she scoffed.
“No. I think he was afraid. I think he thought you could pull me away,” he explained, looking in her eyes.
She shook her head, and looked away.
“There was probably some truth to that fear,” he admitted.
She looked back at him. “You had feelings for me?” she asked disbelieving.
He nodded. “Yeah. I did. I still do.” He could admit it now, even if he couldn’t then. He heard her small intake of breath.
She looked over at her son, asleep in the far bed.
He followed her eyes, and looked at the child. “I don’t’ need any test to tell me that boy’s mine.” He looked back at her. “I should have been there with you. Through all of it. I’m sorry I wasn’t. I’m sorry you had to go through this all alone.”
Her eyes started to fill with tears.
Cole stood up, and pulled her into his arms. “Come here, baby.” She melted against him, and he wrapped his arms around her, running his hands over her hair. “Shh. Shh. It’s gonna be okay.”
She had had to be the strong one for so long. It felt so good to have someone hold her. To have someone to lean on, to tell her everything would be okay, even though she knew that wasn’t a promise he could make. No one could promise her this would all be okay.
“Hey.” He moved his hands to the sides of her face, and tilted it up. He looked down into her eyes. “I’m here for you.” He shook his head. “Whatever you need. Understand?”
She nodded. “Okay.”
She looked so fragile. Everything inside him ached for her. Every feeling he thought he’d buried, came rushing back. He pulled her back up against him, one arm across her back, the other across her shoulders. His hand slid up the back of her head, his fist closing over a handful of her hair, feeling it’s silky softness. He rubbed his jaw against the top of her head, and breathed in the scent. His eyes drifted closed, and he felt a tightening in his throat as the ice around his heart melted a little.
With her face pressed into his chest, Angel felt the warm softness of his tee shirt contrasting with the cool roughness of his leather cut. Her hand ran over the leather. It still carried the horizontal scratch she had cut into it that night in the desert.
Cole looked down, and watched her fingers run across it. “You put your mark on me, babe. In more ways than that.”
“Do you remember that night?” she asked softly.
He grinned. “Yeah. You tried to kill me twice that night.”
She smiled, embarrassed. “I did, didn’t I?”
He nodded. “Yeah. But I remember the rest, too. All of it. Every second of the time we were together.” He was quiet for a few moments, and then he swallowed, and spoke again. “That last night we were together? I know I said a lot of cruel shit. Shit I didn’t mean. I was trying to push you away, and then…when you were gone, really gone, and I’d realized what I’d done…”
She looked up at him, brushing her fingers across his lips. “Shh. It’s okay.”
He pulled her hand away gently, and shook his head. “No. It’s not. Let me say this. I need to say this.”
“Alright.”
“I’m so sorry, Angel. I have so much to be sorry for. I’ve missed you so much.” His hand came up, and cupped the side of her face, tilting her head back. His thumb brushed over her lips, and then his mouth descended to hers.
The kiss was soft, gentle, exploratory. Two lovers coming together after what felt like a lifetime apart. And yet, at the same time, it felt like they’d never been apart. She clung to him, never wanting the kiss to end. Surrendering to his mouth, silently letting him know she wanted more.
He felt her reaction, picked up on her silent cues the way males had read females since the beginning of time. His arms pulled her closer as his mouth delved deeper. He felt her body press against him. Soft, curvy female against hard, taught muscles. She felt so good in his arms. Too good, and the bed was too close. Another minute and he’d have her pushed down on it. He raised his head, pulling away from her mouth reluctantly, and leaned his forehead against hers. He took a shaky breath, and looked down into her eyes. “I should probably go. Okay?”
Angel pulled back. “Yes. Of course.”
He walked over to the bed TJ was laying on, and leaned over him, kissing him on the forehead, then he stood looking down at him. “This test I need?”
“Yes?”
“Where do I go?” he asked, looking back at her.
She smiled, and turned to pull the paperwork out of her bag. She handed it to him. “Just call that number, and tell them you want to be tested for that case. All Melissa’s information is on it.”
Cole took it, and nodded. He stepped toward the door, and opened it.
Angel followed him.
He paused in the doorway, and looked back at her. Reaching up, he touched her cheek, and said, “That morning, when you woke up alone…I should have never left your side.” Then he leaned down, and kissed her softly.
When he lifted his head, Angel looked up into his eyes a moment.
And then he turned, and left.
*****
Three days later, Angel was back at home, when she got the call. She clutched the receiver to her ear as she heard the news. The hospital in California had confirmed Cole was a match.
Angel put her hand to her mouth, sank to her knees, and burst into tears.
TJ, who was playing on the floor with his cars, came running over when he saw his momma crying. “Momma, what’s wrong? What’s wrong, Momma?”
She couldn’t speak. She just shook her head, and pulled him into her arms, and rocked him, crying.