CHAPTER Nine
The next morning, Cole took Angel, and left the clubhouse. He didn’t tell her where they were going. He didn’t want to give her a chance to change her mind.
They rode for hours, down through Santa Cruz, Monterey, Carmel, all the way to Big Sur. They stopped here, and there, along the way, and reached Big Sur by dinnertime.
Cole pulled into a campground that also rented out small, rustic cabins. He parked the bike, and they got off.
Angel watched as he took his cut off, and stuffed it in his saddlebag. He pulled out a flannel shirt, and pulled it on to cover his shoulder holster.
When he saw the questioning look Angel was giving him, he explained, “No reason to give ‘em and excuse not to rent to us.”
She nodded.
They walked into the office, and Cole talked to the woman behind the counter. Angel wandered over to a display of brochures. It was mid-week, and luckily they had one cabin left available.
Cole paid, and got the key.
The woman gave him directions to their unit.
They got back on the bike, and Cole rolled slowly through the row of cabins until they found #9. He pulled up, and parked.
It was a tiny cabin, set off at the end of the row. They were all rustic, log cabins, probably built back in the fifties.
They got off, and got their few things out of the saddlebags.
Cole unlocked the door, and they walked in.
There was a small couch and table with two chairs on one side and a double bed on the other side.
They stowed some of their stuff, and went back outside to walk around. The place was on a small river, and set among huge redwood trees.
“It’s beautiful here,” Angel marveled, looking up. The sunlight filtered through the huge, majestic trees.
“They make you feel small, don’t they?” Cole watched her; he’d give anything to bring a smile back to her face. But so far, she’d been quiet.
Angel nodded. “They must be so old.”
“Yeah, hundreds of years old.”
After they wandered around for a while, they headed out, and found a restaurant. They ate at a rowdy roadhouse grill. The place was packed, mostly with a young crowd. They ended up talking with a group at a table next to them, and had a great time. Angel finally snapped out of it, and began to smile and laugh again. After the meal, they all ended up in the bar, shooting darts, and drinking beer.
“Can I have some money for the jukebox?” Angel asked Cole when the music stopped.
He smiled down at her, and dug in his pocket, pulling a couple of bills out. “Anything for my baby.”
She smiled, reaching up to grab the bills out of his hand, and turned toward the jukebox.
He grabbed her hand, and pulled her back.
She fell against his chest, laughing.
He smiled down at her, and asked, “You gonna play me some blues, baby doll?”
“I’ll see what I can do,” she replied, with a saucy smile, and walked over to the jukebox. She fed the bills into the slot, and browsed through the selections, punching in several choices. She turned, and grinned at Cole over her shoulder. “Stevie Ray Vaughan?”
He had his beer bottle tipped up for a drink. He swallowed, and grinned at her. “Stevie Ray? Absolutely, babe.”
She continued flipping through the selections, until she found another, and glanced back at him again. “Tab Benoit?”
“Oh, hell, yeah.”
She strolled back to him. “Did I make my man happy?”
He pulled her between his legs, wrapping his arms around her. “What do you think?”
She cocked her head to the side, pretending to consider. “Hmm. I think I’ve got your number.”
He grinned. “Yeah, baby doll. You absolutely have my number.”
An hour later, Cole sat on a bar stool, and watched Angel take her turn at the dartboard. She threw a bull’s eye, and one of the guys teased her that she was across the line. Another jumped in front of the board on her next shot, trying to throw her game off. She laughed, and pretended to throw a dart at his butt. They all laughed. Cole noticed she fit in with them, better than she probably did with him.
Angel walked back over to him, and picked her beer up off the bar. She took a drink, and set it back down. She looked at Cole, saw him studying her, and asked, “What’s wrong?”
He smiled. “Nothing.” He pulled Angel to him until she stood between his legs. “You havin’ a good time?”
“I’m having a great time.” She smiled up at him.
“Good.” He bent his head to claim her mouth in a kiss.
One of the guys was at the jukebox. He turned, and yelled back to one of the girls in their group, “I played your song, Melissa!”
“Tommy, you didn’t! Why do you guys always have to embarrass me everywhere we go!” she laughed.
Angel turned in Cole’s arms, and leaned back against him, watching the fun. Cole’s arms closed around her.
The song started, and they heard The Allman Brothers come on, and Gregg was singing ‘Melissa’. When he got to the chorus, all the guys in their group sang along, serenading the girl. Soon the whole bar was singing along at the top of their lungs.
Cole and Angel swayed to the music. When the song was over he turned her around, and kissed her again. It was a long, slow kiss.
One of the group yelled, “Hey, you two, get a room!”
“We already have one,” Cole replied, grinning down at Angel.
She raised her eyebrows. “Maybe we should go use it.”
Cole smile got bigger. He stood up, and threw some money down on the bar. “Yes, ma’am.”
They walked out, got on the bike, and headed back. They drove down a winding road, and when they came out of the tree line, Angel could see the ocean below. The moonlight was shining on it, lighting it up in a soft, silvery light. She could see the surf breaking and rolling in, sparkling in the moonlight. It took her breath away.
Cole pulled off onto the shoulder at an overlook, and they got off the bike.
Angel wandered over to the guardrail to look at the view. “Wow. It’s gorgeous,” she breathed.
Cole stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her. “Yeah. The views of the Pacific are one of the best parts about living in California.”
They stood quietly for a while, taking it in, listening to the surf break.
Angel took a deep breath. “I can smell it. The ocean.”
Cole smiled. He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Have you forgiven me?”
She nodded.
“We can get it removed or covered over if that’s what you want.”
She didn’t know how to answer that. She didn’t know how she felt about that. She’d only known Cole a few days, and already she didn’t want to think about leaving him. But she guessed he wasn’t looking for anything long term. “Is that what you want?”
He turned her to face him. He brushed the hair back from her face. “Hey, I like having you around. I do. And I don’t want this to end, but…I’m not very good at this shit.”
She frowned. “Good at what?”
He looked off at the coast, and then at her. He shrugged. “Relationship stuff.”
She looked down, and nodded.
“Can we just take this one day at a time?” he asked.
“Sure. Whatever.” She pulled away.
He sighed, catching her arm, and pulling her back. “Look, I’m not brushing it off. I just..” He looked away. “Try to understand me, baby. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t want to lie to you either.” His eyes came back to hers. “You and me? I don’t see how it’d ever work long term.”
“Why?”
He shook his head.
“Tell me,” she insisted.
“I don’t know. Maybe because you looked like you fit in better with that group tonight, than with me.”
“Maybe you’re wrong,” she whispered.
He looked off at the ocean, and smiled. “Yeah. Maybe.”
She stepped closer, and ran her hands up his chest. “Maybe I could change your mind.”
His eyes came back to hers. The way she was looking at him made him murmur, “Maybe you could.” He cupped the back of her head in his hand. His gaze dropped to her mouth. “You do have some persuasive lips, girl. The kind that can make a man go crazy.”
“Is that a fact?”
“That is a fact.” He nodded, running his thumb over her bottom lip. “Bet you could persuade a preacher man to lay his bible down.”
She closed the distance, melting against him. She tilted her head back, and stretched up to press her mouth to his. Her kiss started soft, barely touching.
That didn’t satisfy him for long. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, and deepened the kiss. They were oblivious to all around them, including the truck that roared past them, until the gust of wind blew over them in its wake. The air horn sounded, and broke the spell.
He pulled back. When the sound and wind died away, he said, “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”
A few minutes later, Cole was pulling her through the cabin door. Without a word, they came together. His hands tangled in her hair, tilting her head back for his kiss. He couldn’t get enough. He backed her into the bed, and pushed her down on top of it. The bedsprings squeaked under their weight. His mouth moved over hers, delving, hungry, devouring.
She loved the feel of his weight pressing down on her. This time there wasn’t the tenderness of the last time. This time it was all aggressive male, claiming a female, and she wanted it that way. It stirred a fire in her blood that had her responding with as much passion, tearing at his clothes.
Cole lifted off of her, and stood, shrugging out of his cut. She lay there, and watched as he reached to pull the shoulder holster off. His eyes held hers as he wrapped the straps around the holster, and set it down on the bedside table. Then he ripped his tee shirt off over his head. His eyes never left hers as he tossed it aside, and he reached for his belt.
Angel’s eyes ran over his chest and arms as he unbuckled the belt. The primal look in his eyes touched something in her. Her breathing quickened. She watched as if hypnotized as he reached down, and grabbed her ankles, and pulled her toward him. She gasped as she slid across the bed.
He leaned over, and undid her pants, and yanked them off her legs. His soon followed in a pile on the floor. His hands hooked in her panties at either hip, and pulled them down her legs as well.
She sat up, and peeled her shirt up over her head. She reached behind her, unhooking her bra, and pulling it free. She tossed it aside.
His stood motionless, his eyes gliding over her, and his breathing accelerated. And then suddenly his big palm was flat on her breast bone, and he was pushing her back onto the bed, his body coming down on top of her, the urge to take her, to dominate her, surging through him. He took her hands in his, lacing their fingers together, and pinned them above her head. He watched as her eyes widened, flaring with desire, her mouth fell open, her breath panting. It excited her, his dominance, his aggressive, all male side. He thought he’d seen it before, it had been in her eyes briefly that night in the desert before the fear had taken over.
Their eyes locked, and something shot through him. This is the one, a voice in his head said. He lifted his head back an inch as the realization crystallized in his brain. And then something made her break eye contact, and look away. Maybe it’d been the look on his face, he didn’t know, but he couldn’t let her get away with it, with hiding from him.
His right hand released hers, and slid to her throat. He pushed up, just enough to bring her jaw back up and her eyes back to him. He held her like that, his hand around her throat. Just enough pressure to have her complete attention, to show her he was in charge. He felt her pulse beating under his thumb, watched as her eyes dilated further. Then he lowered his mouth to hers. He kissed her for a long time. She tried to move, but he wouldn’t let her. His mouth moved along her neck, from her collarbone up to her ear, nipping, licking, kissing.
Gradually, he felt her relax under his hold, melting back into the bed in total submission. “Tell me you’re mine, baby. Say it,” he whispered in her ear.
She moaned, his name escaping on her breath, “Cole.”
“Say it,” he demanded softly.
“I’m yours, Cole. You know I am.”
“You want my cock, baby?”
She nodded. “Yes, baby. You know I do.”
His hand slid from her neck, returning to her hand, lacing his fingers back with hers. He held her pinned to the bed as he pushed between her thighs, and plunged into her in one thrust.
She reared her head back, her hips lifting to meet him.
He slid his hands between them, and played with her, stroking her exactly as she liked, not giving her any respite until she was thrashing beneath him.
“Oh, Cole, baby.”
“Want to see you come, sweetheart. Show it to me.”
She only lasted a few more strokes before the torrent he was building in her burst free, and she gave him what he wanted, her head falling back, her breath coming out in half sigh, half moan.
He let her settle a moment, and then he pulled out, and rose up on his knees. “Turn over, babe.”
“What?” she asked still dazed from her orgasm.
“Babe, turn over,” he repeated the order.
She rolled, and his arm slid under her stomach almost immediately. She gasped as he yanked her up to her hands and knees.
His arm still locked tight around her stomach, he pushed her forward. “Grab the headboard.”
She rose up, and did as he said.
His knees moved between hers, pushing them wide, and he slid back into her, his palm resting on the wall near her head. He slammed into her, holding her tight with his arm around her stomach.
She gasped, readjusting her grip on the headboard.
“Hang on tight, babe,” he growled in her ear as his hips thrust against her sweet, round ass.
She tilted her ass up, giving him better access, letting him in deeper.
“F*ck, baby doll. You take my cock so good. Every time. Every damn time,” he growled, powering into her again and again. The arm locked around her waist dropped, and his hand moved between her legs, his fingers delving, finding her sweet spot.
Her head fell back against his shoulder, her mouth falling open. “Oh, God, Cole. Don’t stop.”
“Not a chance, Angel. Not a chance.” His mouth moved along her exposed neck as he worked her into a panting frenzy. When he felt her reaching for it, he clamped his mouth down where her neck met her shoulder.
It pushed her over the edge, and she screamed her pleasure as she came again, hard.
Her response snapped his control, and before he could stop himself, he was pounding into her, exploding his own release inside her. He slid his other hand up on the wall, his shoulders trembling, his chest heaving as he tried to slow his breathing.
Angel arched back against him like a cat, her head falling back on his shoulder again, and one hand coming up to stroke the side of his neck.
Cole dipped his head, and kissed the mark on her shoulder he’d made. His arm returned to her waist, and he slid out of her.
She moaned, not wanting to loose him.
He grinned, pulling her back down to the bed. “Don’t worry baby. I’m not done with you yet. Not by a long shot.” He rolled her to her back, and came down on top of her, nuzzling her neck. He whispered in her ear everything he wanted her to do to him, promising her everything he was going to do to her.
Her eyes slid closed, and she moaned.
He kept every promise.
Cole jerked awake, breathing hard. It took him a minute to separate the nightmare from reality. He looked at the woman in the bed with him, and he had to shake the cloudy feeling away, and realize where he was.
He slipped her arm from his chest, and got out of bed. He slid into his jeans, and grabbed his pack of cigarettes from the bedside table. He walked to the door, and opened it, staring through the screen door at the rain pouring down. Thunder rumbled in the distance. A cool breeze blew in through the screen, carrying with it a spray of mist that fell on his chest and arms, cooling him off.
He lit a cigarette, his hands shaking. His heart was still pounding. He had lived with death these past few years, and lately the demons of those deaths had infiltrated his sleep and plagued his nightmares. Battling those demons had become a burden he knew he couldn’t escape. He knew he wouldn’t sleep again tonight.
He leaned against the door jam, and breathed in the fresh scent of rain. He only wished it could cleanse his soul, like it cleansed the earth. Sometimes he felt like his sanity was hanging by a thin wire, like he was just waiting for that one thing that was going to come along and make that wire snap.
His gaze drifted back to the bed. Angel lay curled up in the sheets. She had given herself to him with such sweet surrender, soothing the beast in him. He would have liked to take away all the pain she’d suffered. He wanted to protect her, care for her. Keep her.
He shook himself. He couldn’t let her in. He was a shell of a man with a black hole for a soul. He had nothing to give her. He could only cause her misery and heartache. He denied the feelings she was stirring in him, pushing them down. It was easier and safer not to feel anything. She was just another lay, he told himself. What he felt for her was desire, nothing more. Even as he thought it, he knew it was a lie.
He looked out through the screen, and took a hit off his cigarette. The tops of the tall redwoods swayed with the wind. There was a bright flash of lightning in the distance, lighting up the dark sky. Thunder cracked with a boom. He heard the bed creak behind him, but he didn’t turn around.
Angel sat up, and saw Cole standing by the open door. She wrapped the sheet around her, and walked over to him.
He felt her arms slide around his waist, her face press against his back. He closed his eyes, trying to deny to himself how good it felt.
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.
“Nothing,” he responded, shaking himself free of the feeling. He looked out the screen door.
“Is something troubling you?”
He shook his head, taking another hit off his cigarette.
“Cole, please. I know something’s bothering you.”
“A lot of shit bothers me. Some of it comes out in my dreams. Don’t worry about it.” The screen door creaked as he opened it, and tossed his cigarette out into the night. The downpour was tapering off to a light rain.
“Dreams or nightmares?”
He turned to look at her then. “I told you before, don’t go trying to get inside my head. You won’t like what you find.”
“What’s behind those guarded walls you put up, Cole?” she whispered.
He shook his head, and thought, ‘you don’t want to know, baby’. Whatever she might say about his silence, it would be better than if he actually opened up to her.
“Is it what happened with Chuck? What you did for me?”
“Stop! Stop all the questions, Angel. I mean it,” he said sharply.
“Why? Why can’t I ask questions?”
“Because you won’t like the answers!” he snapped. He saw the way she looked at him, believing there was good in him. She’d change her mind quick enough if she knew the truth. If she knew all the things he’d seen, all the things he’d done. She’d run then. She’d run like hell. He was torn between wanting to drive her away, and wanting to hang onto her like a drowning man.
“I just want to help you.”
He shook his head. “I know what you’re trying to do. You think you’re gonna fix it all. Fix me. Well, I’m not looking for someone to save me.”
“I thought we were getting closer.” She pulled away, looking back at the bed, thinking of all the tenderness and emotion he’d shared with her. Why now, couldn’t he share with her what haunted him.
He followed her gaze. He shook his head. “It’s called sex, baby. And it’s a real nice therapy, but don’t go makin’ it into something it’s not.”
Her mouth parted.
He wasn’t sure what was making him lash out at her. Some twisted self defense mechanism he’d created? He couldn’t help thinking he was slitting his own throat. That he’d gone too far.
“You mean love? Don’t confuse it with love? Is that what you mean?” Her voice raised.
He watched the pain steal across her face. The desire to protect her stole through him. He fought it down. “I’m just givin’ it to you straight. Like I told you I would.” Liar! The word rang through his brain.
“So, this meant nothing?” She looked into his eyes. They looked filled with torment. He reached for her. She pushed past him.
The screen door banged as she walked out, and down the steps. She stopped a few feet from the steps, feeling the soft rain failing on her. She turned her face up to it, letting its cool wetness wash over her face and hair. He could deny his feelings, but she knew he felt more than he would admit. It was there in his eyes, in his touch. Maybe she needed to take a page out of his book, and guard her own heart, because the hell of it was, she was letting herself start to feel things for him. If she was going to be honest with herself, she had to admit she was falling in love with him. A man that didn’t want her love, didn’t want her to get too close.
Cole watched her, standing there, as the rain slowly soaked her hair and the sheet she was wrapped in. He ached for her, knowing he had hurt her. Knowing he would hurt her even more before this thing between them was through.
She heard the screen door creak as he followed her out. He came up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her, enveloping her in his warm male scent.
He whispered, “I can be a real bastard, sometimes. I’m sorry. Please believe me, Angel. I don’t mean to hurt you.”
She slid her hands over his forearms that were locked around her waist. His body was soon as slick with rain, as hers was.
He bent his head, and kissed her cheek. “Are you alright?”
She nodded.
“Come back to bed, baby doll,” he whispered, his voice deep and husky in her ear. “Please. No matter how hard I try to push you away, the truth of it is, I need you tonight. Please. Don’t tell me no.”
She let him lead her back inside. He left the door open. A cool breeze blew in. She turned to look at him, her eyes running over his bare chest, the rain beading on it, droplets running down his abs.
He reached up, and pulled the wet sheet from her, dropping it to the floor, and pulled her into his arms. He looked down into her eyes. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to say the things she wanted to hear, but he could show her. Her lips were soft and warm beneath his. He traced a path along her jaw, to her ear. “Do you know what you do to me?” he whispered.
“I need you,” she whispered back.
“I’m here, baby.” He picked her up, and carried her to the bed. He lay her down gently, and followed her down.
The thunder rumbled overhead, and the rain picked up to a downpour again. They could hear it beating down on the roof, pouring from the gutters.
Cole pressed soft kisses over her wet face, but kept returning to her mouth. He couldn’t get enough. Beads of water dripped down from his hair.
Angel ran her hands over his slick back, feeling his warm skin and hard muscles.
The touch of her hands on him, so soft and gentle had him groaning, and pulling her closer. “Aw, baby, you’re such a sweet remedy.”
They stayed there two more nights. They barely left the cabin. The second day it rained all day, and they listened to the rain on the roof as they made love again and again.
The morning of the third day, they lay tangled together.
Cole ran his hand over her ass, suggestively.
“Baby, I don’t think I can do it again,” she whispered.
He smiled. “You gonna be able to ride back?”
“Ride? I don’t know if I can walk,” she teased.
He rolled her onto her back, resting his weight on his elbows, his body suspended above her, locking her within his arms. “Well, since you can’t walk…”
She squealed, “I’m serious. You wore me out.”
“Maybe I’ll keep you here forever.” He smiled, and nuzzled her neck.
“In this cabin?” Her hands ran over his muscled biceps.
“In this bed, baby. My prisoner of love,” he whispered in her ear, and then his mouth found her mouth, and his tongue delved deep.
Cole’s cell phone rang. He lifted his head, and looked over at the bedside table, where it lay. He’d known the world had to intrude on them sooner or later. He stretched across Angel to reach the phone. He flipped it open, and looked at the incoming number..
Mack.
“Shit,” he murmured, pressing the receive button, and putting it to his ear. “Yeah?”
Angel watched his face, wondering who was calling. Now that she thought about it, she was surprised he hadn’t received any calls the whole time they’d been away.
Cole leaned back against the headboard, listening to the caller. “Yeah. Okay.”
Angel turned on her side, propping up on her elbow, running her hand over his stomach and chest. She watched him reach for a pack of cigarettes, and shake one out.
“Alright.” He took the lighter off the bedside table, and lit the cigarette. “I don’t know. Tonight, sometime. Why?” He tossed the lighter back on the table. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll be there.”
He flipped the phone closed, and tossed it on the table. Taking a deep hit off the cigarette, he looked down at her, and absently trailed the fingers of his other hand along her spine. “I gotta get back.”
“Business?”
He blew out a stream of smoke, and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay.” Angel started to get up.
Cole grabbed her by the hand, and pulled her back. “Come here, babe.” He pulled her down on his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked, looking into his eyes.
He shrugged, lifting a strand of hair off her face, and tucking it behind her ear. “That this has to end. That we have to leave.”
“Me, too.” She smiled.
He took her hand, and brought it to his lips, and kissed it, looking into her eyes all the while. “You know this time we’ve had together has been special to me.”
She interlaced her fingers with his. “I feel like…like I’ve known you forever.” She smiled. “Maybe we knew each other in a past life.”
“Past life?” He took a hit off the cigarette, squinting at her through the smoke.
She shrugged. “You know, like reincarnation. Maybe we’re two old souls that knew each other a long time ago, and just found each other again.
He smiled, and put out his cigarette. “Women. Where do you girls get this shit?”
“What shit?”
“This romantic shit.”
She smiled. “What? You don’t believe reincarnation is possible?”
He grinned. “Baby, if we did know each other in a past life, I’m pretty sure I was a Roman soldier, and you were a slave girl.”
She squealed as he flipped her on her back, and kissed her.
It was several more hours before they left.