Not a Chance (Sweet Nothings)

chapter TWENTY-TWO



"She's going to cook for you? In our kitchen?" Travis asked. Dustin had a date with Emma and was trying to hustle him out of the house.

"Take Tonya with you," Dustin said. He was gathering up stray socks and straightening up magazines on the coffee table.

"You could have given me a little more notice," Travis said.

"Yesterday I said, 'Tomorrow I have a date with Emma. She's coming over to cook for me.' Did you not hear?"

Travis had just gotten home from work. It was nearly eight o'clock and he'd worked longer than intended on the widow Nettleton's transmission. She was alone in the world, though, and without her car, she had no way of getting around. So he'd gotten it running good and took it over to her. Then he came home to find Dustin kicking him out. "I guess I wasn't listening. How long do you want me to be gone? I mean, I don't want to walk in and find you and Emma doing stuff that I don't want to see."

Dustin laughed. "Don't worry about that. Just stay out for a couple of hours. You can go hang out with Neil or something."

"You sure? A couple of hours? I can take Tonya to a hotel if you want the place for the night."

"Not necessary. Thanks, though."

Travis watched him as he tidied up. There was something in the way he had laughed a second ago. "Emma's not making you wait for marriage, is she?" Travis said, mostly joking.

But then Dustin looked up in surprise and quickly covered his expression with a nervous laugh. "Of course not. Why would you even ask? Now get out of here."

Travis thought about it for a moment. Their dates never went past eleven. He never did more than hold her hand in public. Maybe. "She is, isn't she? She wants to wait?"

Dustin was holding a stack of car magazines. He hurled them onto the coffee table. "Yeah. So what? You got something to say about it?"

Travis put his hands up, palm out and stepped back. "Take it easy. I think it's great. Good for her." But he wasn't able to say it with a straight face and he thought Dustin might be about to punch him.

"It's none of your business, Travis."

Travis got control of himself and nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry."

Dustin glared at him another moment and then leaned down to straighten up the magazines.

"Have you tried talking her out of it?" Travis asked.

"What?" Dustin looked at him like he was crazy.

"You know. Just get her worked up. Flirt with her. Kiss her. Weaken her resolve a bit. Then tell her you love her and you'll always be with her and there's no need to wait. Or whatever you want to say." Travis shrugged. He was offering well-meaning advice because he genuinely felt sorry for Dustin.

But Dustin shook his head in disgust. "You want me to knowingly violate her moral code?"

Travis shrugged. "You're going to marry her anyway, aren't you?"

"Marry her? We've only been dating a couple of weeks."

Travis furrowed his brow in confusion. "So...you're not going to marry her?"

"Am I supposed to decide right now?"

"Don't you just...know?"

"No! Am I supposed to? I thought I had some time. You're freaking me the hell out, Travis!"

"Calm down," Travis said. "I guess you don't have to decide now. I'm sorry I brought it up. It's just...it's Emma. She's the kind of girl you marry. I figured that's what you had in mind."

Dustin looked terrified and lost. "I just want to be with her. I can't think about marriage now. It's too soon."

"Okay, man. Relax."

Dustin looked at him and shook his head. "I don't understand you, Travis."

"I don't understand you either," Travis said. Then he laughed. "Just relax and pretend this conversation never happened. Have a good evening with your girl."

Dustin smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

Travis went to his room where Tonya was watching TV and helped her to her feet. He called Duane, since he hadn't seen him in a while. The three of them went down to the diner to eat.





Arden hadn't slept with Nick since Sunday. She'd felt so empty inside afterwards that she couldn't bring herself to do it again. Tonight he'd called and she'd pleaded a headache again. Then he said something really nasty about how he might as well f*ck a marble statue...it would be warmer and show more appreciation. After which she'd called him every bad name she could think of and hung up.

She wiped tears out of her eyes as she drove down the hill toward the café. She couldn't understand it. She never used to cry this much. When she arrived, she was told that Shannon had left Tara to close up. So Arden drove over to Shannon's house. Alice's car was parked there.

Arden climbed out and knocked on the door. She heard Shannon shout, "Come in!" She went in and followed the smell into the kitchen. She perched on the bar stool next to Alice.

Shannon turned to her and smiled.

Arden couldn't help but notice she looked a little worn. She glanced around and saw that the table had been set with candles that were no longer lit. Shannon was also wearing a very sexy dress. Arden's eyes widened. "Oh, Shannon. I'm so sorry. I forgot about your anniversary."

Shannon turned back to the dishes. There was an array of uneaten food in serving dishes on the counter. "It's alright. I shouldn't expect you two to step outside of yourselves and think of someone else for a change."

Arden felt like she'd just been slapped. "I'm so sorry. I'll go."

"No, wait," Shannon said. She braced her palms against the counter edge and closed her eyes. Her hair was immaculately done with little tendrils of red curls framing her face and neck. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have lashed out like that. Please stay. This food should be enjoyed by someone. Truth be told, even before Alice got here the evening hadn't been going that well."

Arden looked at Alice who was staring blankly into a half-empty glass of wine.

"What happened, Shannon?" she asked.

"I should have waited until I'd fed him before bringing up the baby thing."

"You're pregnant?" Arden shrieked.

"No. I was going to push him...make him say yes to me. But he was being stubborn. And then Alice came by and Russ yelled at her and stormed out. I guess he's at Rowdy's. It doesn't matter. Let's eat. Alice, you too. I don't care how you feel...you're going to wither up and blow away, you're so frail."

Alice did look frail. Her skin, always fair, was paler than ever. Dark circles shaded her eyes. She went to the table and sat down. Arden helped serve the dinner.

After a few minutes, when they were well into their dinner, Shannon seemed to recover some of her good hostess demeanor. "So," she said. "It appears we are all in the midst of relationship dramas. Alice, let's start with you. Do you have anything new to share with us? Or is it just the same old thing?"

Alice glared up at her. "He didn't come home last night. Is that new enough for you?"

Shannon's smart-ass smirk was replaced with concern. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah. He says he slept in his truck."

"But you think he was with another woman?"

"Normally I would. But he showed up early this morning and his lips were blue and he was shivering. I dumped a bunch of coffee down him and put him in a hot bath. He slept the rest of the day."

"But that's good, right?" Arden said. "He wasn't cheating on you."

"What's good about knowing your husband would rather nearly freeze to death in a cramped pickup cab than to spend the night under the same roof as you?"

She had a point. Arden reached out and stroked her hair.

"I'd cry," Alice said. "But I think I'm all out of tears."

"Can't you two get some help? Maybe Vince needs someone to talk to?"

"He and I have been through it all. There's no use bothering trying to fix it. The only reason I haven't left, yet, is I can't stand the thought of not having his arms around me when I fall asleep. No matter how much I hate him, he wraps those big bear arms around me and I just relax all over. But last night he wasn't there. So now I know what it feels like. I don't know. Maybe it's time to cut him loose."

Arden and Shannon remained silent for several uncomfortable moments.

Suddenly, Alice laughed. "What a dour bunch we are tonight. It's almost Christmas. We should totally break out the cookie dough and watch some Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye."

They all agreed. Arden helped Shannon wash dishes and Alice cleaned the table. Shannon whipped up a big batch of chocolate chip cookie dough, baked half of it, and saved the rest for them to eat.

They'd each seen the movie a hundred times. Once they got Alice comfortable and distracted, Shannon turned to Arden. "So you didn't get a chance to tell us why you're here tonight."

Arden felt the tears start to sting again, but she was able to push them back. "I had a fight with Nick."

"Over Ashley?"

Arden shook her head. "No. We resolved that on Sunday."

"You resolved it," Shannon repeated, staring at her in disbelief. "The woman he was cheating on you with gives you a black eye...and that's a resolvable issue?"

"You know, if you're just going to judge me..."

"No, no," Shannon said. "I won't judge you. Tell us what happened."

Arden sighed and told them about Sunday. "After he left, I just felt so...actually I didn't feel anything at all. I haven't felt anything since, until we fought tonight. He said some really horrible things to me and I said some bad things to him. I've never felt so hurt."

Shannon took a bite of cookie dough. "You should break up with him, sweetie. It's past time."

Arden shook her head. "No. This was my fault. I'm not giving him enough attention."

"And why is that?" Alice asked. Shannon looked at her with approval.

"Because I really don't like spending time with him."

Alice burst out laughing. Arden sat up straighter, not sure what she'd said that was so funny. "I'm sorry," Alice said. "But do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You don't like spending time with him? Your fiancé?"

Arden lifted her chin slightly.

Alice was still laughing, so Shannon asked, "What is is that you like about Nick?"

Arden turned to her. "I don't understand the question."

"What do you like about him? What is it about him that makes you want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

Arden took a breath and thought. "He's stable. He has a great job. Our families get along. We're compatible physically...by that I mean that we just look good together. And we enjoy each other's company sometimes. Like when we're with friends or we're just watching a movie or something."

Shannon glanced at Alice but otherwise kept her composure. "Okay. So now, what is it you like about Travis?"

"Travis? How'd he worm his way into this conversation?" Arden asked.

"He was always there," Shannon said. "Now tell us what you like about him."

Arden sighed in irritation. "Well, to start, he's a good friend. He listens to me and we have good conversations. He's the most emotionally transparent person I've ever met. He just wears it all out there and I really find that...sweet. He's strong and rugged, but yet I know he'd never hurt me. He's intelligent...I mean, really intelligent. Not school smarts or anything, but he's really insightful. I bet he knows all of us better than we know ourselves." Arden was getting into this now. "He's generous to a fault. I love the way he takes care of his family. And did you know that little old ladies literally pay him with pie for fixing their cars? Drives his brothers crazy. I'm pretty sure without Dustin, they wouldn't make any money ever." Arden smiled and shook her head. "And he's sexy. I mean, just mouth-watering sexy. Sometimes I think I want to tie him up and lick stuff off of him. Mmmm," she trailed off.

Shannon and Alice laughed at this. Arden suddenly remembered that they were in the room. She looked at them, indignant for a moment, and then joined in their laughter.

"Look," Alice said, "I know I'm the last person who should be giving advice. But marry for love. It's the right thing to do."

Arden shook her head. "Didn't seem to work out with you, Alice."

Alice shrugged, looking sadder than Arden had ever seen. "It's more complicated than that."

"I don't see how. You all have this whole 'love conquers all' attitude. If that's true, then how come you and Vince are breaking up? You still love him, don't you?"

Alice turned to her. "I love him with all my heart. Sometimes that means walking away. But you're a fool to compare your situation to mine. At least I had the courage to give love a chance. You're too much a coward to even do that."

Arden's jaw dropped. Wasn't that the second time someone had called her a coward? "I don't appreciate that, Alice," Arden said. "I'm not afraid. I'm trying to make the intelligent decision."

"Okay," Shannon interceded. "How do you define intelligent? Because you just listed a whole bunch of practical reasons for being with Travis. Forget love. You don't care about that. But you do care about trust, right? Compassion? Dependability?"

Arden grabbed another spoonful of cookie dough. "I see your point. Okay?"

Shannon sighed in resignation. "Good enough. We'll just all pray you make the right decision."

Arden scoffed and then turned her eyes to the TV which was halfway through White Christmas. The right decision. She was beginning to wonder whether there was a right decision.



The diner down by the river had been in operation for over fifty years. They served good old-fashioned fried food, beer in frosted mugs, and they allowed smoking. Travis satisfied himself with two out of three. He didn't consider himself a smoker in that he had to have an hourly fix. But in times of stress, he did enjoy standing outside and puffing on a cigarette...or even better, a cigar.

Tonight, however, he was seated next to a pregnant woman and halfway through his cigarette it occurred to him that he shouldn't be smoking next to her. He put the cigarette out in the ashtray. Then he kicked Duane under the table and nodded to his cigarette and then to Tonya.

"What?" Duane said. "She's smoking. Besides the whole place is thick with it."

"I don't care," Travis said. "Be a gentleman." Then he grabbed the cigarette out of Tonya's mouth and put it out. Duane grudgingly followed suit.

"I quit drinking for this baby," Tonya said, "I ain't quitting smoking for it. Been smoking the whole pregnancy."

"It's never too late to do the right thing for your baby." Travis stacked up the menus and handed then to the waitress who came to take their order. After they ordered, he leaned back and looked to his left and his right. He shook his head in disbelief. "Sitting between the two people who love me most in the world."

They both turned and glared at him.

He thought to himself that it was funny that these people who didn't love him cost him more money than the people who did.

Their dinner came and they started to eat, Tonya and Duane acting like they hadn't had food in days...which may have been the case for Duane.

"So, you staying with Vicki?" Travis asked.

Duane nodded. "And her mother, the crazy bitch."

"Everything going alright?"

Duane glared up at him, mustard from his hamburger dripping down his chin. "Everything's fine."

Travis met his stare. He didn't like Duane mooching off his girlfriend like that. But mostly he was worried about the possibility of him hitting her again. "Treat her right. Okay?"

"I'll treat her how I see fit. Mind your own f*cking business, Travis."

Travis sat back and dabbed some grease off his lips with his napkin. "You are my f*cking business. Treat her right. Or else we'll be having another talk. Got it?"

Duane looked like he might spit in Travis's face. But then his expression morphed into one of sadistic amusement. "How's your love life, Travis?"

Tonya paused eating and gripped the table for a few seconds. Then she went back to eating. Travis spared her a glance before answering Duane. "If you're trying to pick a fight, it's not going to work."

"So, you've accepted the fact that you're a pathetic loser," Duane said.

Travis laughed. "Yeah. Pretty much. Eat your dinner."

Suddenly Tonya grabbed Travis's arm. She looked horrified. "Travis," she said in a hushed voice. "I think I wet myself."

"Are you serious?"

She nodded, tears of embarrassment forming in her eyes. Then she got that introspective look in her eyes. Her brow furrowed and she seemed to be holding her breath.

"Are you having contractions?" Travis asked, a feeling of panic starting to rise.

"Yeah. I think so."

Travis looked to Duane. Duane shrugged, his eyes wide. "Don't look at me."

Travis turned back to Tonya. "Do you think...did your water just break?"

She shrugged. "I like that idea better."

Travis laughed and nodded. "We'll go with that then." He whistled for the waitress. He handed her enough cash to pay for their meals and then helped Tonya to her feet. They dropped Duane off at Neil's apartment and then went back to Travis's house. He left Tonya in the car and went inside to grab the overnight bag they'd packed earlier in the week.

As soon as he walked in the door, Dustin and Emma jumped to their feet. They'd clearly been on the couch and Dustin must have been trying out Travis's advice, because Emma's shirt was untucked, her hair was disheveled and her eyes were wide with guilt. Travis would have teased her, but he didn't have time.

"Tonya's in labor," he said. Then he dashed back to the bedroom and grabbed the bag.

"Let me come with you, Travis," Emma said as he came back into the living room. She was getting her shoes on. Dustin helped her into her coat. Outside, Travis leaned his seat forward and helped Emma into the back. Then they sped off for the twenty minute drive to the hospital in Bixy.

When they got to the ER, a nurse helped Tonya into a wheel chair. She was taken to a small exam room. Travis and Emma waited in a waiting room.

"You okay?" Emma asked, rubbing his back gently.

He nodded. Then he looked at her. "She's not going to want me back there with her, is she?"

Emma shrugged. "Maybe. Would you go?"

"Of course," Travis said without hesitation. "But I really...really don't want to."

Emma smiled. "I'll see if she'll let me stay with her. I've been in birthing rooms before."

Travis couldn't help himself. He hugged her and thanked her and told her what an amazing person she was. In the end it worked out just that way. Emma stayed with Tonya, whose labor only lasted eight hours. And Travis dozed off in the waiting room, jumping to his feet anytime Emma came out with an update. At last baby Emily was born into the world.