We waited an eternity, switching between me holding Mattie or Ella nursing and snuggling with her. I was relieved that Mattie would eat; surely that had to be a good sign. Nurses kept coming in and out of our room, checking her stats, making sure the tubes and wires were working properly, but then they would leave and offer us no news of what was actually wrong with her.
As the day went on, we all grew more and more anxious. All our family members were anxious to hear of Mattie’s status, and due to hospital rules, no more visitors were allowed. The entire family came to a halt, waiting to find out what exactly was ailing Mattie.
Around five pm, a new person came into the room and gave us all sympathetic smiles.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Edwards.” She reached her hand out to Susan and Ella, but smiled and gave me a polite nod as I held Mattie.
“We’ve gotten back the preliminary lab results for Mattie here and I’m afraid we are going to have to admit her.” I watched Ella take in her words, process them as she nodded her head, and continue to look to the doctor for more information. “Mattie seems to have an infection in her kidney, her bladder, but most importantly, in her blood.”
“How does a three week old get this sick?” Susan asked.
“It’s pretty impossible to tell where the infections stems from. We just have to treat it fully and hope for the best.” Dr. Edwards flipped open Mattie’s chart and kept talking as she looked at the clipboard. “It also seems that one of our pediatric nurses might have heard a murmur in her heart, so we’re going to check that out as well.”
“What is the treatment for this infection?” I asked, still trying to process everything being told to us.
“We will need to administer aggressive antibiotics intravenously starting immediately.”
“How long do you think she’ll need to be here?” Ella’s voice was sturdy and strong.
The doctor stood up straight and looked Ella right in the eyes.
“Unfortunately, Mattie is very sick. You’re lucky you caught the infection when you did. Had you waited another day or two, this might be a very different conversation. However, she will still need treatment for a few weeks. She could be admitted to the children’s hospital for anywhere from two to five weeks, depending on how she responds to treatment.”
“Five weeks?” Susan stammered.
“I don’t want to downplay the severity of the infection. A blood infection in a three-week-old baby is serious. If we don’t treat it fully and entirely it could be devastating. The timeframe is just an estimate. We need to get Mattie on antibiotics as soon as possible. Then we need to see how she reacts to them and we’ll go from there.”
“When can we get the antibiotics started?” Ella’s voice came from across the room and she sounded almost stoic.
“Just as soon as you sign these consent forms. We’ll get the meds to her and transport her upstairs to the children’s hospital.”
Ella looked over at me, her eyes silently asking me what my thoughts were. I knew what she was thinking and I was on the same page. If they thought Mattie needed it, we would do it. I nodded at her and then looked down at Mattie still sleeping in my arms.
“What do I need to sign?” Ella walked towards the doctor and I knew she had it handled. I didn’t move from my seat or look in their direction. I focused on Mattie and trusted Ella to get everything sorted out.
What came next was a flurry of activity as nurses came in and hooked Mattie’s I.V. up with a second bag which contained the medicine the doctors were hoping would heal her. Dr. Edwards came back and listened to her heart again, speaking to the medical student that was now accompanying her.
“Ok,” the doctor said with a sigh. “I did hear an abnormality, but I can’t be sure it was a murmur. It could be nothing at all, and most likely is, but I want to take every precaution. I will schedule an echocardiogram. For now though, hang tight and when they are ready to take Mattie upstairs, someone will come and transport you all.”
I walked over to the doctor and shook her hand, having missed the opportunity when we first met.
“Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate it.”
“She’s in good hands,” she said before she nodded at Ella and Susan, then left the room.
Ella walked back to the hospital bed and gazed down at Mattie. “She’s so small,” she said quietly. The baby laid in the middle of the hospital bed, looking quite tiny against the big bed. I came up behind Ella and made sure her back was pressed up against my chest, offering her someone to lean on. Sure enough I felt her relax into me and I placed my hands on her shoulders.
“She may be tiny, but she’s strong like her mother.” Ella’s hands came to cover my own and we stood there, watching Mattie sleep.