It’s nice to be out as one big family. People stare and point, no doubt recognizing the guys, but they ignore them. This is our day; a day to be away from our jobs and their public life and to give the kids some fun.
Jimmy runs ahead and scoops Peyton up, throwing her over his shoulder. She laughs, and the sound brings tears to my eyes. Harrison slows down and walks next to me with Elle on his other side. She hasn’t let go of his hand, nor has she stopped talking, and Harrison hasn’t missed a word, even though he’s looking at me every few seconds.
It’s only a matter of minutes before my camera is out and both girls are wrapped in Mickey Mouse’s embrace. Noah jokes that Mickey is for babies, earning an ear flick from Liam.
“Go stand with the girls, I’ll take your picture.” His warm hand covers mine. His lips are dangerously close to the ear. My tongue is thick, no words willing to form as I hand him the camera and walk over to my girls. I bring them both into my arms, kissing them both on their cheeks before posing for what will surely be our Christmas card. We didn’t send one out last Christmas, so maybe we’ll do it this year.
“Thank you,” I say when Harrison shows me the picture. He stands next to me, his chest pressed against my shoulder. I should step back and remind him that we can never be anything more than co-workers, but doing that might be rude and presumptuous. He’s just being nice right now.
Jimmy, I’ve determined, is the biggest kid of all of them. He races the boys and Peyton to the lines so they can start riding, even though it clearly says no running. I’ve never been one for rides, so I’ve gladly accepted the photographer role.
I’m surprised when Harrison appears. I thought for sure he’d be with Quinn. For a brief moment I worry about Elle, but remember that Liam and Josie are there and neither of them would let anything happen to her. Harrison stands next me, his body brushing up against mine. Today he’s wearing a baseball cap and it’s starting to bug the shit out of me.
I try to adjust my body so that we aren’t touching, but fail in my attempt and end up creating just enough friction to cause the hairs on my arms to rise. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything and for that I’m thankful.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
I shake my head. “It was a mistake.”
Harrison sighs. He hangs his head and turns slightly to look at me. “It didn’t feel like one to me.”
I don’t have an answer and I think that upsets him. I look down at the manicured garden in front of me, fearful of seeing his expression. My eyes start to water and for what? Nothing can happen between us, he knows this.
We hustle from ride to ride and even though I’m not riding them, I’m exhausted from the stories that Peyton and Elle are telling me. Peyton is having a blast. Seeing her smile gives me hope that she’s turning the corner in her mourning. Not that she needs to be rushed, but I miss my little girl.
“Mommy, I’m tired.” Elle pulls on my t-shirt to get my attention. We’re in one of the many gift shops looking at souvenirs. It’s also a great place to cool down from the beating sun.
“Are you ready to go back to the hotel?”
“No, can you carry me?”
“Elle, there’s no way I can carry you. You’re too big.”
Elle leans against me, grinding her face into my side. This is typical Elle – she’s the child that loves to nap – whereas, Peyton can go all day. I play with her ponytail, contemplating what to do with her. I don’t want to ruin her day, but carrying her is out of the question.
“Excuse me, where can I rent a wagon?” I ask the clerk behind the counter.
“What do you need a wagon for?” I turn to find Harrison behind me. He gazes down at me. His eyes are soft and forgiving, showing no mention of our earlier conversation.
“Elle’s tired. I can’t carry her, so I need something to put her in or we need to go back to the hotel.”
Harrison nods. He bends over and says something to Elle before he picks her up from behind and places her on his shoulder. Her face beams as she steadies herself.
“We won’t be needing the wagon,” he says to the clerk who shrugs. I stand there stone-faced as he walks out of the store, ducking when they get to the entrance, with my baby on his shoulders.
“Hey, is that Harrison James?”
“No,” I say as I leave.
“Harrison?” he stops and faces me. His sunglasses are covering his eyes again and it makes me wonder if Elle did that for him. “You don’t have to carry her, she can walk.”
Harrison looks up at Elle while she looks down at him. They smile at each other as if they are sharing their own secrets. “Princess Elle, I’m your Henchman, what say you?”
I smile and laugh at the way Harrison is talking to her.