“How serious?”
This time, I stop so I can look him in the eye. I know I don’t have to answer to him, she has parents for that, but he’s her friend and he’s fiercely protective of those he loves. “For a brief moment today, I saw us as a family and it didn’t scare me, it made me happy.”
“You can’t dick her around. She’s not one of those that you can date for a few months and push aside when you’re bored.”
“Where the hell is this coming from?” I scoff. “You’ve known since the moment I met her that I wanted to be something… anything to her. I haven’t been with anyone since the night I was blessed with shaking her hand.” I shake my head. “Fuck, man, seriously? You think I’m going stick my dick in her and bail? Why, because she has two kids, or because she’s still dealing with losing her husband? Or, because every time I think we are getting close, she fucking shuts me out?” I stuff my hands in my pocket and kick a pebble on the ground. I thought I’d made my intentions pretty clear, but apparently not.
I walk away from Liam before I say something that I’ll regret later.
“Quinn,” I yell out. He stops and turns. He’s such a happy boy. I’m lucky to be his dad.
“I’m going back to the hotel to pack. You can stay or come with me.”
“I’ll come back with you.”
I nod and walk away from the group without saying anything. I’m tempted to look back at Katelyn, but I don’t want to see what expression she might have now. If its relief, I’d be done for. She’s my own personal rollercoaster, and right now I’m feeling a bit sick from the jerking back and forth.
Quinn and I walk back in silence. He stays right next to me as we navigate the crowds. I want to take him back to the others so he can hang out with Noah, but I am happy that he’s come with me. Sometimes I just need to spend time with my boy. He calms me. Keeps me centered and gives me something to get up for each day. Without him, I’m not sure where I’d be.
He sits down on the couch when we enter the hotel room. We don’t have much to pack - a few bathroom things - but that’s it. I needed to get away from Katelyn and her cold shoulder and Liam with his preaching. Where the hell does he get off? I’ve never been close to the player he was before he reconnected with Josie.
I sit down and pull Quinn into my arms. Sometimes I just need to hold him. One day he’s going to push me away. Not sure how I’ll react when that happens, but until then, I’m going to be a sap and enjoy every minute I can with him.
“You told Aunt Yvie about Katelyn, huh?”
He shrugs.
“You’re not in trouble.”
“Okay.”
I try not to laugh. I never want him to think he can’t talk about his feelings with Yvie, even if he’s ratting me out.
“Do you like Katelyn?” I’m curious how he feels. If he doesn’t like her, maybe I shouldn’t even pursue anything with her. I’ve never brought a woman home before, not that I’m bringing Katelyn anywhere, but clearly he sees something between us. I’ve always kept Quinn separate from my love life. I don’t want him to get attached to someone that isn’t going to stay around. Liam’s right in the aspect that I haven’t dated anyone longer than a few months because I get bored, but with Katelyn, it’s different. From the moment I saw her eyes, I knew she was the one for me, the one that is going to make my life complete. I made a change in my life because of her. I really can’t see myself doing something to screw it up.
Quinn snuggles into my shoulder more. I rest my head on top of his. “I like her a lot.”
“Yeah, me too, buddy.”
“Is she going to be my mom?”
I’m taken aback by his question. He’s never asked me about his mom and if he’s asked Yvie or my mom, they haven’t said anything. If I ever see his mother again, I don’t know what I’d do. Who drugs someone so they can get knocked up, only to abandon their child the way she did? She didn’t know jack shit about me as a person. She carried him for nine months and just left him in my living room with nothing. No clothes, food or even diapers. I had a lot of growing up to do when he arrived.
“Do you want to meet your mom? I’ll find her if you want to know who she is.”
Quinn pulls back and looks at me. “No, but Katelyn would make a good mom. When you’re working and Josie isn’t home, she makes me and Noah lunch and she cuts the crust off my sandwich, even though I don’t ask her to.”
I start laughing and ruffle his hair. “Is that what makes a good mom? What if she’s evil and makes you scrub the floor with a toothbrush?”
Quinn smiles. “I don’t think so, Dad.”
“No?”
He shakes his head. “I think she’s a good mom. Noah loves her and says nice things about her and she makes you smile even when you think no one is looking. I see you smile and I like that.”
He’s right. She makes me smile. “Can I tell you a secret?”