I wipe away the tears that have fallen. He made that promise, but some higher power had different plans for him. The memories I have are starting to fade and I hate that. Mason needs to live on in our lives, and the lives of the girls, but it seems that we’re talking about him less and less. Maybe that needs to change.
Once I’m dried off and dressed, with my hair braided, I’m out the door. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and I can’t help thinking today is going to be a glorious day. Nick texts to tell me he’ll meet us at the cemetery, saving me a trip to his house.
When I pull into the cemetery, Katelyn and the kids are already there. I walk by her car and wave at Quinn, who is staring out the window. Katelyn asks him each time if he wants to get out, but he opts to give the girls their private time. He waves back and offers a sweet Harrison-like smile. Between him and Noah, we’ll be beating the girls away with clubs.
“Aunt Josie, look,” Elle points to the freshly laid flowers on Mason’s grave. Each week they’re here, cleaning and removing any debris. Harrison has been known to come as well, but never tells Katelyn what he says. He tells her that’s between him and Mason.
“Very beautiful, Elle. Your daddy loves them, I’m sure.”
Peyton sits just beyond Mason’s grave, watching the entrance. I look at Katelyn who shrugs and decide to go see how she’s doing.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Just waiting.”
“Did you visit with your dad?”
She shakes her head.
“How come?”
“Elle is too nosey.”
“I see.” I pull my legs to my chest to match her position. “Have you asked your mom to bring you by yourself?”
She shakes her head again.
“I think if you did, she would. Or, ask Harrison. You know he’d bring you.”
Peyton shrugs. “I don’t want my dad to get mad about me wanting to talk to my dad.”
If anyone on the outside of our group didn’t know the situation, they’d be confused. “I think both dads will understand. I know Harrison will. He loves you, Peyton. You know that.”
She sighs and kicks her legs out in front of her. “I miss him and Uncle Liam. When are they coming home?”
I pull her into my side and kiss the top of her head. “Soon,” I tell her, praying that I’m right.
After we finish up at the cemetery, we’re park bound. Peyton is riding with me and as soon as she sees Noah, she’s out of the car and racing toward him. Nick tells me that Aubrey will call me later to discuss some business and tells Noah that he’ll see him later.
The kids run off to the playground as Katelyn and I walk hand-in-hand to the bench. We can sit here for hours and watch them play.
“I have something to tell you.”
“What is it?” she asks, without taking her eyes off the kids.
I lean my head on her shoulder and wait for the tears to start. When they don’t, I am even surer this is the right decision for me, even if I didn’t make it. “Meredith is keeping the baby.”
Katelyn turns in a snap, causing me to hit my head on the wooden bench.
“Ouch, shit, that hurt.”
“Oh crap, Josie are you okay?”
“Yes, and no. My head hurts, but surprisingly I’m okay with Meredith’s decision.” I rub my head, wondering if I have a concussion.
Katelyn grabs my free hand and holds it. The stroke of her thumb against my hand is soothing, but not doing much for the headache that I’m getting.
“I’m so sorry, Josie. I know how much you guys wanted this baby. Do you need me to do anything?”
“Help me clean out the room?” I say, sheepishly. Cleaning is never anyone’s ‘fun’ job. “I think I’m going to give Meredith the stuff. I don’t want it, and it’s really for the baby, not me.”
“I think that’s very noble of you, Josie. You’re a strong woman.”
“I don’t know about that. I’m not even upset. I mean, I was when Aubrey called, but I don’t feel like I think I should.”
“Everyone reacts differently. Doesn’t make you any less of a person.”
“I guess. I still haven’t told Liam. I’m thinking of going out there this weekend since Noah’s game has been moved. Maybe surprise him before breaking his heart.”
“Hearing it from you in person will be better, plus your other news.”
I look at her strangely. “What other news?”
“Oh come on, Josie. If I’m noticing, he has to be noticing.”
I slide away from her and give her my best “what the hell” look.
“You’re pregnant.”
“Am not.”
“Are too. I’ve been there before.”
“So have I, in case you’ve forgotten. I’m not pregnant.”
“Your boobs are bigger and so is your ass.”
My mouth drops open, but she just shrugs. “How dare you!”
“Eh, it’s the truth, and you’d tell me the same thing.”
I turn back to watching the kids and count off the days since my last period. And when that doesn’t work, I try to remember the last time I bought tampons at the store. Still coming up blank.
“Did you figure it out yet?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell her, crossing my arms in defiance.
She leans into me, resting her chin on my shoulder. “Josie, I think you’re pregnant. I’ll watch Noah while you scoot over to the hospital for a test.”