The sonographer prints off a few pictures and hands them to Liam. He’s mesmerized by them, staring at each one. Honestly, unless things are pointed out to me I don’t know what I’m looking at. The first time I saw Noah, I cried. Not because I was overjoyed or scared out of my mind, but because I thought I was having a bean and that something was seriously wrong with me.
When Liam looks at me, he’s beaming. The excitement in his eyes shows me that he wants this just as much as I do. Bringing another child into the world, into our lives, is the best thing that could’ve happened to us right now.
Outside the doctor’s office, Liam holds me in his arms. I can feel his heart pounding against my chest. He’s excited, ready to burst.
“I’m going to stop by the nursery before I head home,” I tell him.
Liam pulls back, keeping his hands clasped behind by back. “I want to celebrate tonight, have everyone over and share the news.”
I run my fingers over his stubble. It’s constant and I love it. He tried to go full on beard with me, but I didn’t like it. He looked like a chipmunk hoarding nuts in his cheeks. Since I complained, he’s kept it trimmed and perfect.
Sometimes, when I look into his eyes, I see the same eighteen-year-old that I fell in love with. Even with our years apart, my love for him hasn’t subsided. It will always be there because we share a son. It’s there because he’s my soul mate. Whether we’re together or not, I’ll always love him.
“Dinner sounds perfect. I’ll stop by the store on the way home.”
He kisses the tip of my nose before kissing my lips. I melt into him, not caring about the people around us. I’m happy and in love with this man and we’re about to have a baby, another son. I want everyone to share in our joy.
“I love you, Jojo,” he says with a wink as he walks away. My eyes fall to his backside as I watch the swagger in his hips. No wonder he’s so good at his job – just staring at his ass makes me turn to goo.
“You’re one lucky lady.” I turn and smile at the white haired older lady sitting near me. “I had that once in my life, but he’s been gone for some time. Do you suppose you find that kind of love again?”
My eyes go from her to the door and back again. “Yes,” I say truthfully. “I lost him once, a long time ago.” Those are my parting words as I walk out of the doctor’s office and head to the nursery.
My doctor’s office is in a wing off of the hospital. It’s super convenient when you’re convinced that you’re having Braxton Hicks contractions but are really in labor and your doctor needs to send you to Labor & Delivery. That was me with Noah. I didn’t want to believe that the time had come, or that Liam wasn’t going to be there. I thought for sure he’d call once I left him a message with his agent’s office. I was wrong, but still held out hope.
The halls are busy as people come and go from different departments. I know a few of the nurses and we say hello as we pass each other. When I arrive at the nursery window, I’m elated to see the babies in their hospital bassinets. The mix of blue and pink reminds me of the last time I was here when Eden was born.
When I was with Nick, I never thought about having another child. Somewhere deep in my mind I felt it’d be wrong and that I’d be moving on. I was never fair to Nick and our relationship. He was easy and convenient. He gave me so many missing pieces from my life and would’ve completed me if I had allowed him to. As I look back at that time in my life, I realize how selfish I was by stringing him along. I wouldn’t change the way he is with Noah, though, because Noah needed Nick more than I did.
I wave at Diane, the Labor & Delivery nurse working in the nursery room. She smiles and leaves the room, meeting me by the window.
“No flower deliveries today?” Diane was my nurse when I had Noah and we’ve maintained a friendship ever since. I give her a quick hug and turn back to the babies.
“I took the day off. Liam and I had the sonogram today.” I beam, recalling his expression when he found out we’re having a son.
“Is Liam excited?”
“He is. I know he hates himself for missing all of this with Noah. He’s trying to make up for everything even though it wasn’t his fault.”
A baby starts to cry, and that’s Diane’s cue to go back to work. “Let’s get coffee soon,” she says as she walks away. Once she’s back behind the glass, she picks up a little girl and holds her to her chest. I had hoped that this time around we’d have a girl, but a boy makes the numbers even. Peyton, Elle and Eden will dote on him, likely putting ribbons in his hair which is something I can’t wait to see.
“Baby stalking?”
I jump at the sound of Nick’s voice, but am happy to see him. “What are you doing here?” I ask, even though I know he’s working.
“Just checking on my littlest patients. You?”
“Sonogram day,” I say excitedly.
“And?” His eyes are bright, awaiting my answer. I look around and see a few of the other nurses watching me. I didn’t tell Diane what we’re having, but I’ll tell Nick. Just not here, not with how fast they’ll put our news on social media.
“Do you have time for lunch?”