He kisses me again before he helps me stand. It’s these small moments that make me wish I were pregnant because of how Liam is around me. Although, he’d likely want to put me in a bubble to prevent any injuries or potential dangers that could come my way.
Noah hasn’t exactly been very welcoming of the fact that another human will be living with us. He wanted a dog, but Liam and I wanted a baby. We’re the parents; we won the battle, but have paid dearly for it with pre-teen attitude.
Liam asks Noah to come into the house with us for a few minutes. The request is met with some type of boy grunt, followed by the kicking of grass. If Bianca and I were close I’d ask her if Liam was like this. Maybe Mason was and I can ask Mr. Powell how he dealt with the constant sighing, one-word answers and eye rolling. I must be crazy to want to do this again. Right now I think crazy is a good thing.
As soon as the three of us sit down at the table I’m taken back to the time when Liam came over for dinner and we told Noah that Liam’s his dad. Noah knew, of course, after he heard his teachers talking about Liam during a field trip to the sports museum. Mason and Liam had made such a name for themselves that the town wanted to remind everyone just how amazing they were.
Liam takes my hand in his and looks at our son who is looking anywhere but at us. I hate that he’s so disinterested, but I get it. Liam takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand.
“Today, your mom and I got to see the baby. Would you like to know what we’re having?”
“A monkey?”
“Noah,” I say with a hint of displeasure in my voice. I know it’s hard to make this adjustment, but sometimes changes are good for people, for families.
“What?” he says with a hint of laughter in his tone. “A monkey would be great then we could watch it pick its own butt.”
Liam isn’t taking Noah’s bait and looks at him sternly. “It’s a boy.”
This time Noah rolls his eyes and pushes away from the table. “Great. Now you can start from the beginning and be there for everything that you missed with me. That’s why you’re doing this, right? So you can make up for what you missed? This baby isn’t even going to look like us. You’re taking some stranger’s baby and the only reason she’s giving you her kid is because you’re famous.”
I gasp and Noah looks at me. There are tears in his eyes. I shake my head, but he’s already storming out of the room. Liam goes to stand, but I stop him.
“Are we making a mistake?” I can’t believe the words that come out of mouth. My heart’s breaking in two right now, half for my son who doesn’t understand and half for the little boy who has yet to be born and is in need of parents who will care about him.
“Josie, we’re not making a mistake. He’s right though. I can’t help but feel like this is my chance to make up for what I missed. Even now, there’s so much that I don’t know about having a pregnant wife. I can’t feel your stomach or ask you how my baby is doing. I don’t even get to go to the store and buy you pickles and ice cream only for you to tell me you don’t want them anymore. I won’t be able to hold your hand while you’re in labor or be there to cut the cord.”
I stand and force my way into his lap. I hold him to me, stroking the back of his neck while I think of what needs to be said. I can’t change the past and I know he’s not asking me to. I don’t want this baby to be a substitute, but if that’s how Noah’s looking at it, maybe we haven’t considered everything.
“We want this baby, right?” he asks, pulling away slightly so he can see me. I nod and attempt to blink away my tears. “I have to find a way to help Noah understand that I’m not replacing him. The last thing I want is for him to run to Nick.”
Threading my fingers through his hair, I look deeply into his blue eyes. “He won’t run to Nick.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
I rest my forehead against his and sigh. Our lips meet briefly before I pull away and look at him. “Aubrey’s pregnant. If Noah is acting like this with us, he’ll do the same with Nick.”
“I’m going to go talk to him,” Liam says tapping my hip to get me to stand.
“No, I will. I need the chance to still be his mommy.”
There isn’t a handbook on how to handle something like this and no one I can really ask. Harrison and Katelyn merged their families nicely, but there wasn’t a baby involved. Even when Eden is here, Noah doesn’t pay attention to her. I chalked it up to being a boy, but maybe it’s something different. I don’t want to think that Noah’s jealous, but maybe he is, although most of us are jealous of the attention Eden receives. She has each of the guys wrapped around her finger.