Every instant spent within Osla’s journals brought me closer to her secret. Unable to continue the work Kenna started, I offered to help Rhona in the kitchens but made sure to sneak away for a few hours each afternoon so that I could dive into Osla’s sad world.
Eoghanan remained absent after the first day, but I knew he stayed around the castle. Each day on my way to the tower room, I would see him pacing outside, waiting with baited breath for Baodan’s return.
The seventh morning after Baodan’s departure, I woke early and headed straight for the tower room. We expected Baodan back today, and I wanted to finish the few entries left in Osla’s book. With every step up to the room, I prayed that the answer would reveal itself in the riddles gone unsolved for far too long.
The book detailed her gentle descent into darkness and the evolution from happiness to despair broke my heart. Osla’s life had been a happy one, at least for a while.
“After much begging, Eoghanan agreed to teach me to write. Baodan would have taught me, but he would not have understood my desire to learn as Eoghanan has. He too holds things within and finds release within the written word. We have worked for many months, and I have left these pages empty until I was skilled enough to grace them. Finally, he says I am ready and now, when I am too quiet to speak, I will pour out my soul to these empty pages.”
I wondered if Baodan knew that Eoghanan taught her. Their lessons must have begun even before they married for she detailed the wedding.
“Today shall be wondrous. Even if clouds fill the sky, there will be sun in my heart.”
I flipped past those entries. The girl seemed likeable enough, but I didn’t really want to read about how madly in love she’d been with the man I loved. Dead or not, the thought caused jealousy to flare within me.
Her entries continued happily for the first five days of my search but, on the sixth day, her words took a turn for the worse and with them, a secret of betrayal uncovered.
“He is the devil, yet I am drawn to him. I know that what he offers I should not take, yet I am tempted.”
Two entries later, guilt and despair.
“I have betrayed the man I love most in all of the world, all for a moment in the arms of evil. I was a fool. ’Twas empty compared to the love I receive from Baodan. I should not have listened to his sweet words. I have seen too many lasses enter and leave his bed, why did I believe that I was different to him? I deserve the hell that awaits me.”
She never mentioned the man’s name, not that she needed to. Only one person within the castle fit her description. Niall.
I sat down on day seven, picking up on the aftermath of their affair. Baodan knew nothing of this, but I suspected Eoghanan kept it from his brother. A few entries down the page, my suspicions were confirmed.
“I wish this to end, but Niall threatens me, and so I must obey. Today our secret was discovered. Eoghanan saw us together. I could not be filled with more shame. There is perhaps some good that has come from his discovery. He will not allow Niall to touch me again. Upon finding us, he covered me and tore Niall from the bed, smashing him into the wall. He told him that if he ever came to me again, he would kill him. It was not an idle threat, and I believe that Niall knows that.”
I understood why Eoghanan had not told Baodan. He cared very much for Osla. He knew her regret and didn’t wish to dishonor her. He also understood Baodan well enough to know that the knowledge would destroy him. So he kept their secret, not foreseeing the trouble that would arise from it.
“I am grateful that Eoghanan will keep my secret, but I can bear it no longer. Tonight, I will tell Niall my wish to confess. Perhaps, he will see reason and we can tell Baodan of our betrayal together.”
I’d spent very little time with Niall, and even I knew that would never work. Only one entry remained, and it differed from all of the rest. So hopeless were the words, even the handwriting changed. While I knew not the exact date of Osla’s death, I knew her life ended shortly after these words. This Osla bore no resemblance to the one who started the journal.
“Secrets lead to death and I will welcome mine. Then Baodan will be free of me.”
If the entry ended there, suicide would have been a believable death, but the words that followed proved the key to the true secret behind it all.