“Well, then tell me how to say it.”
“Another time. When I feel the need to smile, I shall teach ye. There is too much sorrow in me heart now to do so. And I willna tell ye, lass. I’ll leave it to Baodan to do so should he feel the need.”
I rolled my eyes and stood to leave him to Rhona to care for him. I loved Baodan and I liked Eoghanan, but I couldn’t stand the mindset that they both seemed to have. Their belief that a man needed to decide where I should stay or what I should hear. Besides, I already knew what he was talking about.
“There’s no need for Baodan to tell me. I already know that Niall had something to do with your mother’s illness and with what happened to Griogair, though I’m not sure Baodan realizes it yet. The only thing I don’t know is why. If you do know and you’d like to tell me, I’d love to hear it. If not, it’s no matter. I’m pretty resourceful. I doubt it will take me very long to figure it out. Now, eat some food, and take a bath.”
Leaving him gawking after me, I moved past him on the stairwell and went in the direction Rhona pointed out to me.
*
The darkness of the room forced me to retreat back into the hallway to find a torch to light the many candles scattered about. Once illuminated, I found it far less dusty than expected. Kenna had already done most of the dirty work.
I moved slowly about the room, glancing at the neat piles of books, trying to get my bearings as to how she divided things up. Trouble was, many of the books were not written in English. I slowly realized that I would be rather useless in categorizing the books.
With the promise of staying busy shattered, I sat down at the desk placed in the center of the space. One book lay open, encased in leather and filled with pages larger than any standard sheet of paper in present time. I found it to be beautiful, mysterious, and as I flipped through the pages covered in writing, I stopped at the sight of words I recognized.
Surprisingly, and quite unlike the other volumes scattered throughout the room, it was not written in Gaelic. The hand was in English, and it was not a book at all but a journal.
Whose, I didn’t know, but there were limited possibilities. Baodan didn’t strike me as the type to pour his feelings onto the page, neither did Niall. Eoghanan seemed a possibility, but the words looked too feminine. Although written in English, the flourished, cursive handwriting made for difficult reading.
My next guess was Kenna, but I wasn’t sure how common it was for women to read during this time. Perhaps, being lady of a castle provided one with more education.
I started at the beginning, taking note of the first date written over eight years prior. Scanning the pages, I flipped to the last entry only a little more than halfway through the journal. The last time someone had put pen to the page of the diary sitting before me was seven years ago, and the last entry read very dark indeed.
Kenna didn’t write these words. Only one person could have written something so morbid.
Baodan’s late-wife, Osla.
Chapter 30
Cameron Castle
“Ye are no going back inside until I have spoken to ye.” Baodan grabbed Niall by the arm, dragging him effortlessly to the side of the castle, away from the burial. He wished to squeeze his arm until the bone snapped, to beat the wretch until his fists were covered in his brother’s blood.
“I’m afraid I doona have time, brother. There is much to be done. With Aunt Nairne still missing, there is none to assist them but me. Believe me, I now understand what it must be like for ye all the time. I doona envy yer position.”
Niall tried to jerk from his grasp, but Baodan held him tightly, bringing his face in close so that none could hear his words but Niall. “Doona behave as if ye have done no wrong. If ye hadna, ye would have greeted me as soon as I arrived, no pretend as if ye dinna know me.”
Baodan didn’t miss the shift in Niall’s gaze, the darkness that cascaded over them as he changed his demeanor. Malice festered in his brother’s eyes that he’d not ever noticed before.
“The only wrong I have done is try to bed yer whore, but she is an ungrateful bitch who should be taught no to bite the hands that feed her.”
His fist hit Niall’s side with enough force to crack a rib. Baodan held his brother upright to keep him from doubling over in pain. It wouldn’t do for anyone to notice the tension between them. None needed to be aware of what he planned for Niall. Not until he knew all that his brother had been up to. “She is no a whore. She is a permanent member of yer former home. Doona dare show yer face there again, for ye willna be welcome.”