Reluctantly, I let my frustration go and passed the rest of the night just content to be in his arms. Our confessions changed something between us. A tangible sense of closeness not quite as strong before now bound us even more.
It seemed ridiculous to me that I would fall so quickly, but I could no longer deny that I had done just that. Baodan differed from anything I ever thought I wanted, but something about that made him seem even more right.
I’d never been around a man who spent as much time thinking as he did. He over-analyzed everything, always so worried about screwing up. It caused him constant grief, but it also made him considerate, thoughtful, and concerned. He was a true gentleman in every sense of the word—to the point of annoyance.
I could not have dreamed up someone more opposite from myself. He was quiet while I was loud, careful while I was rash, solemn while I was goofy. We seemed to view the world in very different ways, not that it should have been surprising since we came from very different worlds.
It seemed to me that I felt balanced in his presence, protected and content in a way I’d never felt with any man before. Although I knew it should’ve seemed foolish, there was such truth in the way I felt, I knew it couldn’t be. I was in love with him.
Just as the thought crossed my mind, he re-entered the room carrying bread, cheese, and what appeared to be some sort of very strong smelling ale. Not my usual breakfast to be sure, but if brought to me in bed, I wouldn’t complain.
“’Tis all I could find. It seems that Rhona disappeared along with both of me brothers, and I have told everyone else in the castle to enjoy a day in the village. We have the castle to ourselves.”
“Oooh, how nice. I do know where Rhona is though.”
He raised both eyebrows at me as he motioned for me to crawl out of the bed to eat. Why didn’t it surprise me that he would be concerned with crumbies? “Ye do, lass? How do ye know that?”
“Well, don’t get mad, but when you left me in here yesterday, I sort of snuck out after my bath. I bumped into Rhona about three steps outside of the door. She said she planned to see a family member for a few days. She seemed very worried you were going to be angry with her for what happened to me.”
“Hmm…it seems that I have many apologies to make once she and Eoghanan choose to return. I can only see one reason why she would expect that of me. She has seen me poor treatment of Eoghanan all these years.”
He looked down, and I reached out to squeeze his hand. “Hey. The past is not worth worrying over. If that’s all everybody did, nobody would ever get anything done. You’ll apologize to them later. Don’t let it ruin the day.”
He smiled and pulled me toward him to kiss me. “Ye are right, lass, as ye seem to be always. I have something planned for ye this evening.”
“Will it involve clearing this debt between us that you spoke of last night?” I smiled against his cheek, and my pulse quickened at the thought of it.
“Aye, lass. I intend to re-pay ye in such a way that it is ye who is in debt.”
*
Evening could not come fast enough, and I spent the day trying to push the sun out of the sky with my mind. I didn’t succeed, but eventually night did come.
I watched the anticipation build within him throughout the day, and mine would’ve done the same had I not been ready to roll since the same time yesterday evening. I could also see that he seemed nervous, and I suspected I knew why.
He felt the same way I did. I saw the love in his eyes when he watched or even laughed at me, I heard it in his voice when he spoke, and I felt it in the soft stroke of his fingers as he held me close and played with my endless strands of hair.
I suspected that he wanted to tell me tonight, but I hoped to beat him to the punch. I wasn’t entirely sure if he believed that I didn’t blame him for what happened to his wife, and I wanted him to know that it did nothing to change what I thought of him.
As soon as he led me outside the castle, I knew where we went. To the pond, his favorite place. “What are we doing? Skinny dipping?”
He looked back at me, his eyebrows pinched together as they always did when I said something he thought strange. They stayed pinched a good deal of the time.
“What is that, lass?”
“Swimming, but without any clothes on.”
“Is there another way to swim? I doona much like to get in the water with me clothes on.”
I laughed as we reached the water’s edge. “Well, in my time, most people wear tight suits when they go swimming, just to keep their private parts, ya know, private.”