His brothers were not anywhere on the castle grounds. Niall, must have fled after realizing the magnitude of his mistake. Baodan could only hope that he would have the sense to never return.
Eoghanan, he suspected could be found in the village, for wouldn’t run from his mistakes, even the ones not truly his. Mitsy was right. What Niall tried to do to her was no more Eoghanan’s fault than what happened to Osla. Why had it taken him so many years to see?
Anger filled him, anger at Niall, and anger at himself for what he’d become. Too many years of regrets and frustrations built up inside him, and he could take it no longer.
Years of expecting more from himself than those around him and years of believing that unhappiness formed protection had protected him from nothing. In the end, they’d only kept him from truly living at all.
He would choose to live now. Damn anyone who tried to stop him from doing so. He hoped that confronting Niall would release some of his frustration. Now unable to do so, he only hoped the lass in his bedchamber could take what came for her.
He was a man in need, more now than ever before in his life. He denied himself of her once out of a foolish sense of honor. He would not do so again. Tonight he would explore every bit of her, lay claim to all that she had to give him and let go of all his frustrations.
Freedom lay inside her, and he would bury himself deep within to find it.
Chapter 25
I intended to speak with him as soon as he returned from sending Niall away, to demand that he tell me what really happened between him and Eoghanan. All of my well-laid intentions flew out the door the moment he walked back into the bedchamber.
He looked hungry, needy, and not for food. There’d been a similar look in his eyes as we lay next to each other the night we made camp next to Alec, but it had been restrained, muffled. He didn’t gauge his expression now, and the intensity of his gaze frightened me.
“Are you ok? What did you say to him?”
He didn’t move from inside the doorway, only reached behind him to latch the door. Baodan tensed and seemed to tower over everything inside the room, even more so than he usually did.
He rolled his neck from side to side, and I found myself unconsciously backing up until my back hit the wall behind me.
“Hello?” My word sounded small and, by the looks of him, I knew he hadn’t heard me. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or horny, but I swallowed as he moved toward me. Every inch of my body seemed to sense his approach.
He didn’t stop moving until he stood close enough to brace both of his hands against the wall, leaving me trapped between his arms. Finally, he spoke. “Niall is no here, neither is Eoghanan.”
“Oh, okay.” I ducked underneath his arms and scooted down the wall, but I barely stepped away from him before he moved, blocking my path, leaving me trapped once more.
“Where do ye think ye are going, lass?” He leaned forward, his voice deep and slow as he spoke with his face pressed against mine. The words reverberated down my spine as my whole body trembled at the sensation.
“Um…nowhere. I’m just moving across the room. So, did you decide where you’re going to sleep?” Not that I wanted him to sleep elsewhere, I wasn’t afraid of him, but the intensity of his gaze and movements intimidated me. I could tell where this was leading. Although not inexperienced, with the mood he seemed to be in, I didn’t know if I had the energy to keep up.
He laughed as he leaned forward and gave a light bite to my earlobe, talking in between the kisses that he trailed down the side of my neck and over my collarbone. Goose bumps spread all over my body.
“I changed me mind. I doona intend to sleep elsewhere, lass. No if ye doona mind me staying here with ye.”
He didn’t ask it as a question, and he gave me no chance to respond before he moved his kisses lower, touching his lips along the lining of my cleavage. My chest rose and fell, meeting his lips each time he went to touch a different part of my breasts uncovered by the gown.
“Ye doona mind, do ye?” His words were almost a growl as he moved up the other side of my neck and proceeded to nibble on my ear lobe.