He was too tired to think of what the lass could have lied to him about. “What do ye mean, Gara?”
“The night Edana brought me to ye months ago, she was no carrying yer child, no that night. She was no with child tonight, either.”
“What?” Her words hit him square in the chest, too much for his sleepy, guilty, grief-stricken mind to absorb.
“I’m telling ye that Edana lied to ye, sir. She was no expecting a child.”
“If that’s true, lass, how did she die?”
“I doona know, sir. Women sometimes do bleed unexpectedly. She just lost too much blood too quickly.”
Arran paced around the room, unsure of how to take what the lass was telling him. He was hesitant to believe her even though he himself had questioned Edana for so long. “How can ye be certain that she was no with child?”
“I examined her meself. There was no child inside her, never was.”
Relief washed over him. He was not pleased by Edana’s death to be sure, but if what Gara told him this time was true, at least he could rest in the knowledge that it was not he that had caused it, and there had not been a child lost as well.
“Thank ye, lass. So when ye told me she had no threatened ye, I suppose ye lied about that as well, aye?”
“Aye. I could no risk her harming me children, sir, and we were in desperate need of the payment she gave me for me untruth. I apologize for any hurt I have caused ye.”
“Doona worry, it was no yer fault. I’ll no speak ill of the dead, but it was wrong of Edana to have ye do so. But before I let ye go…”
She stared at him hesitantly. “Aye?”
“Is there more ye know, lass?” Arran needed desperately to know all. “Anything else ye can share about why this has happened?”
Her eyes rounded wider as her head shook a denial. “Nothing at all,” she whispered.
“Then ye may leave me now.”
Gara quickly left him. As she did so, he sat alone in his bedchamber wrestling with his flurry of emotions. To go so quickly from overwhelming guilt and loss to possible relief and optimism at his future brought on a different sense of guilt.
He already knew that Edana was a horrible person and now after what he’d learned, it seemed he knew not just how horrible she truly was. Still, it felt wrong for him to be relieved at her death.
The lass had lied to him for some time. He couldn’t deny knowing that had caused him to lose respect for her. But he would lay his wife to rest. Anyone deserved that much.
He was now free from a union that should never have been. As soon as he saw Edana laid peacefully to rest, he would ride to Conall Castle to retrieve his heart.
To retrieve Blaire.
Chapter 37
Conall Castle
The few days leading up to Edana’s burial Arran had spent in solitude, silently making peace with her death and his regrettable decisions that had linked him to her. But now
that he knew the truth of Edana’s lies, he realized there was only so much responsibility he could take in what happened to her.
He would not allow himself to be haunted by Edana any longer. Once she was buried, he rode immediately for his home. He’d been surprised when Eoin had not come to him at the news of Edana’s death, but he’d buried her quickly so he thought perhaps his brother simply hadn’t had time. He could explain it all to him once he arrived back home.
Some of his new clansmen would question how he could move on so quickly, but he knew that anyone who’d spent any time in Edana’s company or that of her father’s would understand.
Arran couldn’t wait to see Blaire, to run to her and beg her to come back to him now that they could truly be together as husband and wife and build the family they always wanted to have with one another.
Arran nudged his horse with the back of his heels as he saw the stables ahead of him. He was so close, only a few more moments and he would be able to hold her once more.
He rode into the stables at full speed, pulling up on the rein hard so that he could fling himself off the side of his horse. He hardly noticed Kip standing in the corner until he heard the old stable master’s voice behind him.
“Arran, ’tis good to see ye, lad, but what brings ye here? The castle is empty save meself and a few other servants.”
Arran walked toward Kip and clasped his dear friend on both shoulders. “Have they gone down to shoot arrows then?”
Confusion filled him as he watched Kip shake his head. Where else could everyone have gone? Not far surely. “Where can I find them then?”