Make Me Bad(Private Lessons)

Chapter Twenty-Four




Luc





I didn’t really stop to consider what I was doing as I made my way to Maddie’s apartment. But then again, I didn’t need to do any more thinking. I was tired of running from the one thing I wanted, tired of feeling like a screwed up loser, and tired of trying to seek pleasure in my own self-inflected misery.

Seeing Vera at my apartment just triggered something within me. I thought of the miserable years that I spent with her and the way that she brought me down. I already was already prone towards depression, and Vera only intensified those weaknesses in me. She made all of my darkness darker, all of my sadness sadder.

Maddie had the opposite effect.

She made my darkness…lighter.

She made my sadness…happier.

Maddie was the one bright spot in my life right now. In spite of her age, she brought out a better side of me; one that I hadn’t known existed. I never wanted to go back to the place I was in with Vera, but it seemed that was exactly where I was heading. So, I wasn’t going to think too much on the future. I wasn’t going to worry about three months from now, or six months from now, or next year. Hadn’t I already learned life could change in an instant? Was I was going to walk away from some of the only true happiness I have ever known because of fear? Worrying over things yet to come?

Hell no.

So, I left my sad little apartment and headed straight to Maddie. When she opened the door half-naked, I felt like I was too late. She had already found someone else. And when she told me she had spilled wine, I wanted to laugh like a giddy schoolboy. I should have known better – Maddie wasn’t the kind of girl to go running into someone else’s arms a few hours later.

After everything had been sorted out, Maddie and I spent most of the night not talking and taking part in some far better activities. Three days later, I’m still sitting here thinking about how damn hot it was.

I have to force myself to stop thinking about Maddie, so I can actually finish grading papers and get to bed. We have our trip to London in the morning, and even though Maddie and I can’t be open with our relationship, it will still be special just to be around her and share in her infectious joy.

Saturday morning arrives, the sun is still not completely up in the sky, and it’s chilly. It’s nearing the end of November, and Paris is slowly turning into a winter town. Soon, some of the parks will close, and it won’t be long before the Eiffel Tower will routinely stop visitors from going to the top due to ice or freezing rain.

I shower and dress and head towards the train station. The sun is late to rise, and just a glow hangs over the old city. Our train leaves at half past seven, and we are supposed to meet at the gate twenty minutes prior. When I arrive, a handful of students are already there, including Maddie and Cleo.

Maddie gives me a happy, though fleeting, smile and she seems to be radiating happiness. She’s dressed in jeans, with a dark sweater peeking out from her gray coat. Her hair is long and loose down her back and I can’t help thinking of the contrast of between her dark hair and milky skin of her back.

Focus.

The others quickly join us, and we all board the train in high spirits. I sit in the row in front of Maddie, and I turn around to speak to her occasionally, our conversations focusing on music. Eventually, the conversation broadens and the others get involved, and we begin to plan what we all want to do in the city.

Everyone definitely wants to sightsee and a few people have some specific destinations they want to visit so some of us will break off. It isn’t long before we arrive in London, and we head straight down to Big Ben, Parliament, the London Eye and Tower Bridge. The mood is light and joyful, despite the cold, and I can’t hope everything will turn out fine in the end.

I end up sitting next to Maddie on the tube as we head away from downtown London and north towards Covent Garden and Piccadilly Circus.

“Having fun?” I ask.

She nods.

“Me too.”

She’s quiet for a moment and then she looks over at me. “Want to write a piece of music together?”

The question catches me off guard.

“Sure,” I say slowly. “Did you just get the idea?”

“No. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a week or so, but I wasn’t sure how you would respond. I have this one melody bouncing around in my head, and I think it could work really well, but I wanted your input and I thought that maybe we could write it together.” She looks hopefully at me.


Is she crazy? Not only is she extremely talented, I love spending time with her. I can think of nothing else more appealing than composing a piece of music with Maddie. It’s a win-win situation.

“Let’s start this week,” I suggest.

She smiles, her blue eyes lighting up. “Perfect.”





Unfortunately, the semester begins to wrap up and with the all of the end-of-semester advisor duties, I don’t have as many opportunities to see Maddie during the week, as I would like. I see her for class on Tuesday, and we have our private lesson, but I’m too wrapped up in work to see her again until Friday night.

On Friday I take her to a small bistro in Montmartre, one that is hidden from tourists but frequented by locals. It is one of the only places where I remember dining with my mother. I decide not to tell this to Maddie. I don’t want to make the mood melancholy.

“This place is amazing,” she gushes as we sit at our small, candlelit table.

“It’s one of the few places that I remember from when I used to visit. I love how tourists rarely find it.”

Our waiter approaches, and I speak to him in rapid French, ordering us a bottle of wine and some appetizers.

“I’ve missed you this week,” she says forlornly.

I reach out and take her hand. It’s a relief to not have to hide right now. “I missed you too. I’m sorry I was so busy. I didn’t realize how much work I would have to complete with the semester drawing to an end. I knew I would have grades to submit, but I wasn’t counting on the other stuff.”

“I understand. I know I can’t have all your time,” she teases.

“I’m sure you’ve had fun with Cleo,” I point out.

“I have, but she’s also trying to get the most of her remaining time with Philippe.”

“Ah yes, her lover.”

“Mmhmm,” Maddie murmurs, dropping her eyes.

Suddenly, my desire for her is so strong it catches me off guard. I want Maddie in a carnal way. “Maddie,” I say in a husky voice, “tell me you’re going to come back home with me tonight.”

Her eyes widen as if she’s surprised that I asked such a question.

“Of course.” She pauses. “I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

I still find it strange that Maddie thinks about me all day. What can I possibly offer her? But I’ve told myself to stop asking such stupid questions. I’m no longer going to wrestle with the idea that she wants to be with me.

“What will you do for Christmas?” she suddenly asks me, her eyes full of concern.

It takes a moment for my mind to switch gears. Then I shrug. “Probably the same thing that I usually do.”

She waits. “Which is?” she prods when I don’t respond.

“Hang by myself, or meet up with some other family-less friends in the city.” I give her a rueful smile, trying to lighten the mood. It sounds depressing when I say it out loud.

“You – you won’t see any family?”

“No. I don’t really have any family. And the people who were like a family to me live in San Diego. I’ve lost touch with all of my relatives over here.”

She looks sad at the thought.

“Don’t be sad for me,” I tell her, “I have plenty of friends in the city who don’t have family nearby or can’t afford to travel.” I laugh. “Some prefer to stay away from their family during the holidays. We usually have a get together or two. It’s not lonely, I promise.”

She sticks out her lower lip; a gesture both childish and sexy. “It sounds lonely,” she pouts.

“I assure you, it’s not.”

“So, tell me then. What kind of things have you done in the past?”

“Sometimes on Christmas Eve a few of us have gotten together and played music at someone’s house or somewhere in the city. The best night we played in one of the subway stations.”

Maddie smiles. “I bet people loved that.”

“They did. It was wonderful. Other times, people have hosted Christmas Eve parties. Once, we even made a Christmas Eve drinking game. We found It’s a Wonderful Life playing on TV all night and had to take a shot every time someone said the name George.”

Maddie laughs out loud.

“See? I told you. Not depressing at all. I’ve gone to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. One time it snowed and some friends and I went to Central Park and had a snowball fight.”

“So who are these friends of yours?” she asks, and I can tell she’s genuinely curious. That’s the thing about our relationship in Paris. We’re removed from our real lives and our normal day-to-day routines. I don’t know much about her New York life and she knows next to nothing about mine.

“Just other artists that I’ve met along the way: some musicians, a few friends from my early years in New York. We’re a bit of a Motley Crew.”

We finish our appetizers, and our main course arrives. We eat our food slowly, savoring the evening.

“Alright, so you’ve told me about Christmas Eve, now tell me about Christmas.”

I roll my eyes teasingly. “Sometimes, I’ve been asked to play music. I’ve been invited over to the homes of my friends’ families. I’ve eaten Chinese food and gone to the movies with my Jewish friends. It’s a new adventure every year.”

“And this year?”

“Nothing planned yet. I guess when I get back to the city, I’ll find out what people are doing.”

I think back to the years I had to spend the holidays with Vera’s family. The sad thing is, I had enjoyed Vera’s family more than I had enjoyed Vera. Those holidays felt like the holidays that people were meant to have – houses bustling with noisy people, delicious aromas wafting through the air, children laughing and fighting over new presents. It was like the movies.

Vera hated it.

She hated how happy everyone was, how normal everything felt. She always wanted a heated argument to take place between family members. She dreamed of someone coming out and admitting they were gay at the dinner table: any kind of drama to take away from the comforting coziness of it all.

“Tell me about your holidays,” I say, changing the subject. I imagine they are much like the ones that Vera’s family celebrated. I always wondered how Vera acquired all her hardness when she came from such a sweet and loving family.

“You know,” Maddie says, slightly embarrassed, “They are pretty cookie-cutter. Everyone gets together and bakes and cooks and there is way too much delicious food. It’s loud and boisterous. Someone usually gets too drunk. And the gatherings last forever. They start a day or two before Christmas, and then there is just party after party. All the way up until New Year’s usually.” She’s quiet for a moment, chewing her dinner. “You think it would be exhausting, but it’s not. It’s pretty great.” She smiles. “Sound stupid?”

I shake my head. “Sounds wonderful.”

“Part of the reason there are so many parties is because two of my grandparents remarried when I was really little. And then my parents have become friends with some pretty big Nashville people, so usually we get invited to a really great party or two that way.”

“Will you head home once we get back to New York?”

“Yep. I fly out to Nashville the next day. Just enough time to pack a new bag.” She laughs.

I try to picture Maddie at home in Nashville. She has just the slightest hint of a twang, and only when she talks very quickly. I imagine it comes out more at home. I can see her blending right in, laughing and having a good time with everyone.

The conversation makes its way back to music before we wrap up dinner and start to head back to my apartment.

“Gosh, it’s cold!” Maddie gasps, pulling her coat tightly around her. I wrap my arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “Mmmm,” she sighs, burying her face into my chest.

I can hardly contain my desire for her, and once we’re back in my apartment, I have to stop myself from pouncing on her. She smiles coyly at me as she unbuttons her jacket and drapes it across my couch.

“Not going to push me up against the door?” she teases.

“Don’t tempt me,” I growl. “I’ve been trying to control myself all evening.”

Then she winks at me and crosses the room over to where I’m standing. She gives me a light shove, and stunned, I fall back onto the couch.

That is her intention.

She saunters into the middle of the room and gives me a devilish look.

Then very slowly she begins to unbutton her silky black blouse.

Holy shit.

Madison is doing a strip tease.

I cough and squirm on the couch. My dick has just risen to the occasion, and it’s pressing against my pants, begging for release.

“Maddie,” I groan.

But she looks at me through her eyelashes and brings one finger to her mouth to silence me.

At last her shirt is unbuttoned, and she teases it open before letting the material slide off her arms and then fall to a puddle on the ground. She’s wearing a plunging black lace bra with red trim.

If she’s self-conscious she doesn’t show it as she runs her hands over her breasts and across her taut stomach, closing her eyes in pleasure.


Holy f*ck. I can’t even believe I’m watching this.

But I am not complaining.

Her hands slide down to her black skirt, and she turns away from me. I watch her hands move to the back of the skirt, and slowly drag the zipper down along its teeth. The skirt opens, revealing a peek of skin against her lacy thong.

She grins and turns back around, sliding the skirt over her thighs and letting it fall to the ground with a gentle whoosh. She smiles knowingly and steps out of the skirt before kicking it off to the side of the room.

Maddie stands before me in just her bra, panties and black boots. For a moment she looks unsure, as if she’s suddenly lost her courage, but the look quickly vanishes and she moves towards me.

She straddles my lap and I groan, my hands gravitating to her thighs, running up and down her silky skin.

“What do you want?” she breathes in my ear, gently gyrating on me. “Want me to take off more?”

I groan again. I love Maddie naked, but there’s something incredibly sexy about her being dressed in only her undergarments and boots.

Instead of responding, I wrap my hands around her midsection and then up to the back of her bra before popping it open.

She lets out a small gasp of pleasure, and I pull her bra over her arms, releasing her heavy breasts. Her nipples are already pink with arousal, and I waste no time squeezing them between my hands and taking them into my mouth.

I moan with my own pleasure as I taste her, and she pulses harder against my body, unable to hide her own need for me.

“Stay like this,” I instruct her and she cries out quietly as I gently bite down on one of her nipples.

Until now, I’ve been somewhat in control, but I suddenly lose all restraint and my greedy hands move down her stomach and push against the thin material of her panties. Maddie’s gasps of pleasure encourage me and I slide my hand inside, strumming my fingers along her pink and perfect sex.

I want Maddie. All of her. Every inch of her. In every possible way.

As much as I would love to tease her now, I don’t have the patience. I slide two fingers inside her, feeling her wetness and feeling her tighten around me. She pulls at my fingers with her fluttering inner muscles, beckoning them to stay buried in her warmth and my dick twitches.

I push my fingers in and out, kissing Maddie and she whispers my name into my mouth. Her breathing is coming in fast and shallow pants, and it takes me a second to realize that she’s already nearing an orgasm.

Excitedly, I rip her panties in two to better service her, and I continue to f*ck her with my fingers as I rub her * in small, circular motions. She continues to ride against me; her head tilted back, her eyes closed in ecstasy.

“Don’t stop, Luc. Don’t stop,” she murmurs. “I’m almost there.”

I can’t take my eyes off Maddie, my own arousal building as I watch her. More than anything I want to make her come. I want to watch her explode and fall apart on my lap.

Moments later, I get my wish.

With a gut-wrenching cry, she comes, bucking on my lap. I help her ride it out and watch her intently as she experiences the best pleasure possible. She’s beautiful as she orgasms, her eyes flashing blue and her hair a shock of dark against her skin.

She finally collapses and I hold her against me tightly, letting her warm breath fall across my neck and heat me further.

We stay like that for a few minutes and Maddie finally begins to stir again. She looks at me, tenderly removing the glasses from my face, and setting them down on the side table. She cups my face so gently, that at first I’m not sure if she’s even touching me. The look in her eyes is so full of love I want to look away. I don’t deserve this kind of tenderness, especially from someone as wonderful as Maddie.

“Luc,” she whispers, “I love you.”

And because I know it too, I say the words back to her.

“I love you, too.”

Whether it’s wrong or it’s right, I can’t help it and I know she can’t either. She lowers her mouth and kisses me softly. I kiss her back harder, grasping her closer to me, feeling my body come back to life as the desire between us intensifies.

I want to take her back to the bedroom and make love to her properly, but I’m too lazy and I honestly can’t wait that long. I continue to kiss her, fumbling with my pants. She realizes what I’m doing and she pulls at my shirt, un-tucking it and pulling it over my head, before unbuttoning my pants.

I groan when my cock breaks free, hard and ready for Maddie. I reach into my pocket to pull out a foil wrapper. I was prepared this time.

I don’t even bother pulling my pants down any further. Instead, I grip Maddie by her hips and pull her towards me. She helps, balancing her weight and hovering just above me as I swiftly roll down the condom.

“Now,” I gasp and she sinks onto me. I cry out like a wild animal, tightly gripping the flesh of her hips.

“Argh!” she cries, as I thrust my hips up, driving myself further into her. I’m in incredibly deep and she rocks back and forth trying to adjust to the depth.

“Oh god,” she moans, sliding off me and dipping back down. I steady her hips, taking control of her movements, dictating her speed and depth. She wantonly moans my name, which only makes me thrust harder.

She feels so incredible wrapped around me – warm, snug and wet. She clenches her inner muscles, squeezing at me and driving me wild with lust.

“Maddie!” I gasp. “I’m not going to last if you keep doing that.”

“Oh?” she taunts, a seductive gleam in her eye as she takes control, riding me and clenching around me even more tightly.

“F*ck,” I hiss through gritted teeth. I feel myself twitch and I see Maddie look triumphant as she realizes that I’m going to lose control to her. I feel myself jerk within her and then I’m gone, exploding inside her.

“Oh!” she cries out as I pulse deep inside her. I can focus on nothing else but the waves of pleasure. Maddie continues to clench at me until she’s squeezed every drop from me.

“Maddie,” I murmur, burying my head in her shoulder and sighing, my breath ragged.