Love Realized (The Real Love Series)

chapter TWENTY

“Can I have you Gillian?” Jake whispered as he leaned in and gently placed a kiss on her neck, just below her ear. As if her body was answering for her, she tilted her head to the side, exposing more for him to taste. He groaned in response and slid his hand from her cheek into her hair, holding her in that position. She was open, submissive, and vulnerable to him. But this was Jake; he would never do anything to hurt her … he never had. Her heart rate increased, and her breathing became more rapid as he continued to pepper tiny open-mouthed kisses to the side of her neck, using his grip on her hair to gently move her at his will. “Can I have you Gillian?” he repeated, and she realized she hadn’t actually responded to his request. Her body was screaming hell yes, but she had yet to verbalize it to him. Could she do this? Could she take this step with one of her oldest and best friends?

“I have wanted you for so long, Gillian,” he said as he moved up her neck and gently kissed her jaw line, making it almost impossible for her to form coherent speech, but she had to try.

“You have?” she whispered. She could feel his smile against her skin as he continued to feather kisses across her jaw and up her cheek. He then cupped both hands around the base of her head, tilting her face in his direction before answering her.

“I have wanted you since the first day of class, second semester of our junior year …” He leaned in and placed a kiss over her right eyelid. “I have wanted you since the moment you swung that bat and caught my undivided attention.” She felt another gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. “I have wanted you since that same day, when after class, you laughed at something I said to you. I have no idea what it was I said because the minute I heard your laugh, it was all I could think about.” Then he placed another light kiss over her left eyelid. “I have wanted you since later that day when I pointed you out to my friends. I had told them how great you could swing a bat, but what I really should have said was that I had found the girl of my dreams.” She could feel his warm breath feather across her forehead as he placed a lingering kiss there. But as soon as she processed what he had said, she startled a bit and opened her eyes. She pulled her head back slightly so she could see his eyes, but tightened her grip on his shoulders so he didn’t think she was pulling away from him.

… the girl of his dreams? She wanted to question that statement, but the look in his eyes said it all. She could see nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. He must have sensed she was questioning his statement, so while still holding her face, his thumbs idly stroked her cheeks, he pushed on, “I have wanted you since we were seventeen years old, Gillian, and I fell in love with you shortly after that. I saw you get in Logan’s car the same day I found you, and watched you drive away with him, taking a piece of my heart with you that you didn’t even know you had.” His eyes looked so sad, almost as if he was remembering the way he felt that day. Her heart clenched at the thought of causing him any pain, even if she had no idea. Breaking eye contact with her, he pulled her close to him once again and placed another lingering kiss to her forehead. “Then, the other night, when I pulled up to your house and watched you climb up into that truck, with some other guy … I felt like history was repeating itself, and I was going to lose the chance I thought had finally arrived.”

Oh my god! “Jake, I'm so …” He placed a finger over her lips to silence her. He shook his head at her, and gave her a slight smile, looking embarrassed by what he had confessed.

“You didn’t know … I never told you, so you have nothing to apologize for. I'm not telling you this now because I want to make you feel bad. I'm telling you all of this because I need you to know that even though we have been best friends for seventeen years … I want more. I want you.” She could feel the passion in his next kiss. Jake wanted her … Jake loved her. She felt that possibly, deep down, she may have known this, but knew nothing could ever happen because of circumstances. Of course she loved him already, but could there be passion … could she be in love with him? It certainly felt like it because just a touch of his lips caused her skin to tingle in anticipation. Fall in love with Jake? Yes, she could. She knew she was already more than halfway there.

Jake ended the kiss and looked her in the eyes. There was questioning in his eyes … waiting for an answer. “Can I have you Gillian?” She lifted one hand up and gently swept back the lock of hair that had fallen forward into his face. Her hand followed the hair back on his head as she ran her fingers through the thick locks, caressing him. Jake sighed and closed his eyes as he melted into her hand. Her hands met at the base of his neck, and she tilted his head so she could place her own soft kisses to his skin. First, her lips found his eyelids, then the tip of his nose, and finally his forehead, before returning to his lips.

After placing one more kiss on his lips, she pulled away ever so slightly so that she could whisper, “Will you catch me Jake?” She felt his hands tighten his hold on her. “I'm falling for you, Jake, but I need to know that you’ll catch me.”

Once again, his hands were in her hair, angling her face toward his, so he had her complete attention, before saying, “The only place you will fall, Gillian, is right where you are, in these arms, in my life. You are everything to me, and I will do whatever I have to do to prove that to you.” He leaned in to her, and she could feel his trembling lips on hers. Leaning his forehead against hers, he whispered, “Fall, Gillian. Go ahead and fall, and I promise I’ll catch you.”

She knew he was holding himself back, and she wanted him to let go. His whispered reassurance sounded almost desperate—he was begging her to take a chance on him … so she took it. “Ask me again, Jake,” she whispered back to him.

When he pulled his head away from hers, he looked her in the eyes and asked in a voice laced with passion and desperation, “Can I have you Gillian?”

She smiled at him, “Yes, Jake. You can have me … I'm yours.” Before she could process his response, Jake’s one hand tightened in her hair and the other wrapped firmly around her waist as he pulled their bodies tightly together. His lips descended on hers like he was afraid she might change her mind—or like he was expressing seventeen years of pent up need. It was a heady thought to think that this beautiful man had loved her all these years … wanted her all these years. She mentally tried to process that, but momentarily lost the ability to think when Jake’s tongue swept across her lips seeking entrance, demanding. She opened to him and let the dance of their tongues begin. But the moment she felt Jake’s hand smooth its way up her body and gently cup her breast on the outside of her shirt, she lost all coherent thought and gave into the sensations overtaking her body.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

Jake couldn’t contain himself. The emotions and sensations that were surrounding him—them—were intense. But this was real. He was actually touching Gillian. She was going to be his in every possible way, starting here and now. It was an overwhelming realization to think that all of his dreams were about to come true. Maybe not all at the same time, but this was where it would all start. Having Gillian in his arms was what his dreams were made of, he thought, as he felt her place her lips gently over his. When he pulled away, she smiled at him, and he felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for someone to save him, waiting for her answer. Then she said the sweetest words he had ever heard, “Yes, Jake. You can have me … I'm yours.”

His body’s response was instant as his hand dove into her hair so he could have her lips against his again. He could feel their softness as he slid his tongue across the bottom one, wanting in. A little sigh had her opening for him, allowing him to dive in. Never had he tasted anything so sweet, and he wanted more, needed more. It was as if his body had a mind of its own, as his hand left the small of her back and gently followed the curve of her waist, up over her ribs before curving around front to tenderly cup one breast through her shirt. It was a perfect fit for his hand, and he gave it a gentle squeeze. Gillian’s body reacted, and she broke contact of their lips as she dropped her head back and sighed.

Leaning forward, he laved his tongue to the side of her neck as his hand continued its attention to her breast. Jake could feel her pulse beating rapidly at the base of her neck as his tongue passed over it. As if luring him in, his lips covered the area, and then sucked it into his mouth. When he heard her quick intake of air and felt her hands tighten in his hair, he applied more pressure, taking more of her into his mouth. More, he wanted more. Making a path down her neck, he paused, only to take another nibble, first at the base of her soft neck, then the curve of her collarbone, across her shoulder, and finally to the freckles that peppered the skin there. He had to have more.

Wrapping his arms around her, he quickly moved her from his lap to lying beneath him on the couch. The momentary loss of her body against his was painful, but eased the moment he laid his body on top of hers, and her legs wrapped around his waist again. His arousal was evident to her now as his body nestled into her center, and he moaned at the firm contact of her warmth against his. He paused, taking a moment to absorb the contact, and sighed as he buried his face in her neck again. Gillian lifted her hips, applying pressure against him, and he couldn’t help the groan that escaped him. “God, you feel so good against me, Gillian. It’s like the most exquisite type of torture and the most satisfying addiction all at the same time.”

She responded without words as he felt her hands grip his hair tightly and force his head to the side so she should feast on his neck. The warmth of her tongue against his skin sent a shock straight through his body, making his erection jump in his pants. Gillian felt it, too, and it spurred her on because her grip tightened as she sucked more of his skin into her mouth. It was Heaven and Hell all rolled into one. In an attempt to try and have more of her, he began to suck and lick a path down toward her breast. Cupping the soft flesh in his hand, he put his mouth over her nipple and gave it a little nibble through her shirt. She gasped and arched her body up into his as yet another groan escaped him. “More Gillian, I need more of you.”

Sliding her shoulder straps off her shoulder and down her arm, he lifted his head and watched as her skin slowly revealed itself to him. All that beautiful soft skin made his mouth water. He knew Gillian was watching him as he gazed on the parts of her body he’d never had the privilege of seeing before, so he glanced up at her. Keeping his eyes locked with hers and his hand cupping her soft flesh, he leaned forward and laved his tongue across the top of her firm tip. The arousal in her eyes intensified as she broke eye contact and instead watched as he praised her breast with his mouth. Needing more, he maneuvered the other side of her shirt down to free her other breast, paying it the same attention. She began to squirm beneath him as he gently sucked and nibbled on her nipples. He felt her arch her hips against him, seeking more contact as her hands roamed across his shoulders, to his hair, down his back.

“Jake …” she sighed to him. She was asking, pleading with him for something.

Wanting her to know he would take care of her, he said, “I’ve got you baby … tell me what you need.”

She pulled his head away from her skin, forcing him to look down at her. Her gaze captured his, and in a husky voice full of arousal, she said, “You, Jake. I need you.” It was a growl that escaped him this time as he reached down to help her lift his shirt off. Levering his body allowed him to feel the torture of her body pressing against his straining erection. The feel of her hands against his bare skin shocked him momentarily, causing a shiver. Then she set out to drive him crazy while her hands roamed across his shoulders and chest. When her fingers gently swiped across a nipple, she looked up at him, as if asking permission. There was no question as to whether or not it was okay—it was one of the best things he had ever felt.

“I love the feel of your hands on me, Gillian. I have waited a long time to know this feeling … and I want more.”

As if he had given her the permission she was waiting for, she leaned up and pressed her open mouth to his chest. He felt the soft warmth of her tongue, then the sharp nip of her teeth as she sucked the skin into her mouth. Arousal was sharp and fast, and whatever blood remained elsewhere dropped to the lower half of his body. He wasn’t going to last, he wasn’t going to make it; he had to have her … now. Lifting his body off hers was hard to do, but there were too many layers between them, and he was not doing this on the couch.

As he stood up, he pulled her shirt up and over her head. When her hands came back down, they went immediately to the waistband of his pants. He needed to get some control before everything ended before it even began. Pulling her hands away from his waist, she looked up and pouted at him as he held her hands in his. “I'm not denying you anything, beautiful, we just need to move this to a better location.” Helping her up, he once again lifted her to carry into the bedroom. As her legs wrapped around his waist, he realized that it was possibly his new favorite position, and he would have her like this as often as possible.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

Gillian was on fire, and the only person who could put it out was Jake. It was the only way she could describe it. Every cell in her body was on edge as Jake carried her to the bedroom, and it only magnified with each bounce his stride made. The friction of his jeans pressing against her core was enough to make her explode. If she weren’t completely lost in the cloud of lust and need, she might fear being embarrassed about it. But she wouldn’t be, because she couldn’t recall the last time she had wanted something so bad. Her need for him was so great, she apparently couldn’t even walk places on her own—he had to carry her.

Carrying her certainly had its benefits, though, because now she could kiss, and lick, and suck whatever skin she could get her lips on—his neck, his earlobe, his shoulder, back to his neck and earlobe. She couldn’t get to all the places she wanted to be all at the same time. Vaguely hearing the bedroom door close and lock, she pulled her lips away from his neck and looked at him as they stood in front of her bed. He was staring back at her, and she couldn’t tell for sure if he was asking her a silent question or not, but she felt the need to reassure him. So she pressed her lips against his, and then gently pressed with her tongue. Jake growled again, which was one of the hottest sounds she had ever heard, and then his tongue was on hers.

The lust that slowed down for a few moments was immediately amplified, and she was battling for as much of Jake as she could taste. Her body was slowly lowered to the bed, and then Jake was standing over her. “I have to get these out of the way, beautiful,” he said as he undid the tie on her pants and slowly slid them down her legs. She was thankful she had prepared for this possible event as she felt Jake’s hands travel back up the legs he had just stripped her pants from. Pausing in his venture up her body, he stopped and stared at her again. “God, Gillian … you are one of the most breathtaking sites I have ever had the honor of seeing.”

Now that her whole body was privy to him, she was certain he could see a flush blossom at his compliment. He didn’t bother to acknowledge it, though, before he removed the last barrier that stood between her body perishing in this fire or experiencing the sweet satisfaction of release.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

Removing the last of Gillian’s clothing had Jake almost losing it, once and for all. He had been waiting so long for this to happen and wanted to make sure it was perfect for her, for them. Finally seeing her body, laid out before him like this, was even more beautiful than he imagined. Standing over her, he removed what remained of his clothes as he stared down at her. It was comforting to see the completely lust induced fog in Gillian’s eyes. There was no uncertainty there, and for that, he was thankful. He knew that for being best friends for so long, this was a huge leap. But he was more than ready to make that jump, with her.

As he crawled up her body, he made sure to taste as much as he could on the way. He tasted the soft skin of her belly as he laved his tongue across a few stretch marks that were there. She may not have considered herself perfect, but she was to him. She started to get impatient and began to squirm under him as he slowly made the trek up to her breasts, where he had to taste more. As she arched her body up toward his mouth, she begged, “Please Jake, I need you … please.”

Lifting himself up, he reached for a condom out of his pants pocket and met her hand instead. She gave a quick shake of her head saying, “You don’t need that, Jake.” He knew he would drown in the arousal visible in her eyes if he didn’t do something about it. He didn’t stop to question her statement, but instead lowered himself back on top of her. Positioning his hard body between her legs, he felt her warmth slide against his, and they both moaned at the contact. With his arms resting on either side of her head, he stroked her hair from her face and kissed her.

Pulling back to hold her gaze, he watched her face as he slowly rocked his body into hers. The sigh that escaped her lips as her heat now fully surrounded him almost made him come undone. Staying just like that for a moment, his body buried deep in hers, the woman he has loved for as long as he could remember, he felt complete.

“You’re so beautiful. I’ve waited so long for this. It’s perfect. You’re perfect,” he said, kissing her as he slowly slid back before pushing deeper, translating years of emotion into each movement.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

Gillian had had sex before. Obviously. She’s had quite a bit of sex. Great sex, too. And with Logan—who she loved, deeply. This, though … this was different. As much as Gillian knew she loved Jake, and he loved her, she’d be lying if she said it didn’t worry her a bit that this was happening. But Gillian could feel it, all the lust, all of the passion, all of the love that Jake had for her. It was there, in each movement he made and she couldn’t imagine anything better for them and their relationship. The feeling of him inside of her actually took her breath away. She felt like she could only stare at him as he began moving inside her. There were no words. Nothing she could do. She was just lost in that moment. In that feeling.

“Oh, Jake …” she breathed out as she dug her fingers into his back. It was instinctual as she felt her hips lift to meet his movements. Each of his thrusts filled her up, and yet her body was demanding more. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she tried to pull him deeper, she had to have all of him. She shifted her hips trying to achieve this and felt him moan as his lips found the side of her neck. Her answering moan had his control slip more when she felt his hand slip beneath her, holding her body up to his.

It was all so much—so intense—the connection she seemed to have with Jake was more than she ever expected. It was more than she could have ever dreamed of. She felt the familiar ache begin to build in her core as his movements picked up pace, becoming more rigid. Running her hands down his back she could feel the sheen of sweat building on his skin as he continued moving deeply inside of her. She could tell he was still holding himself back, and she wanted to beg him for more. He told her to fall, but he wasn’t, and that just wouldn’t do. “Jake, please. More. I need you.”

“Gillian … God … you feel so amazing,” Jake panted out between thrusts as he set a vigorous pace to achieve the release they were both seeking. She was so close, it was right there, and she wanted him there, too. Running her hands down the top of his firm backside, she could feel the flexing of his muscles as he continued to arch his body into hers. She dug her nails into his muscles demanding more of him, and it was all Jake needed. His thrusts became erratic as he pulled her body up against him again and slammed into her. The orgasm that rocked through her body had her gasping for air as his body went rigid, and his lips slammed on top of hers. He swallowed her cry as his lips took hers in a fevered kiss that consumed her.

Collapsing on top of her and staying connected in the most intimate way, she held onto him—afraid she would float away if she let go of him. She could hear his words play over in her mind as she recalled him telling her it was perfect, and whatever reservations she had had about this vanished. Of course it was perfect. He was perfect. They were perfect together. They’d known each other and been best friends for years. How could this be anything but perfect?

Lifting his head, Jake kissed her face, her neck, and across her shoulders as she softly ran her hands up and down his back. Trying to recover and catch their breath, Jake panted out, “Gillian … my God. That was … there are … no words.”

Completely sated, she kissed him, then looked up into his eyes and said the only word she felt described what just happened between them, “Perfect.”