chapter SIXTEEN
Jake’s excitement at the thought of his favorite pastime came to a screeching halt when they pulled into Gillian’s driveway and found Logan’s truck there. As he put his Jeep in park, Logan strolled out the front door and stared, like he was the king of the castle staring down at them. Jake didn’t like it at all.
“Damn, I forgot all about meeting Logan for dinner tonight,” Gillian muttered in the seat next to him. He looked over at her as she stared back at her ex-husband. She turned toward Jake, nibbling her lower lip with a worried expression on her face. “Can I get a rain check on the swimming? Logan and I are getting together to go over details and arrangements for everything.” Gesturing her head in the direction of her youngest in the backseat told him she didn’t want to say more than that in front of him. Although he was completely disappointed, what could he do or say about it? He understood how these things worked, but that didn’t mean he wanted her and Logan to spend time together, alone. Thinking quickly, he came up with an idea.
“Of course you can have a rain check, but don’t expect me to forget it. How ‘bout I take the boys back to my place, and you can let me know when you get home. I can bring Dylan back then.”
A warm smile spread across her face, and the worried look disappeared as she considered his idea. “That would be great, Jake.” Turning back to the boys she said, “We’re going to have to swim later, boys. Dylan, go say hello to your dad before you leave with Jake and Ryan.”
“Okay, Mom!” Dylan exclaimed before both he and Ryan exited the vehicle. Gillian turned and watched her son run up the steps to hug Logan. She sighed and then turned back to Jake with a sad expression on her face.
Taking her hand in his, he rubbed his thumb soothingly over the back of it as he said, “Hey, you okay?”
She nodded and looked back over at Logan and Dylan. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I feel bad sometimes when I see them together—like I'm the one keeping them apart.” She paused and looked back at him, “Then I remember, he’s the one that did this. It was beyond my control.” Jake couldn’t tell if the sadness he saw in her eyes was over her pain, or her kids’ pain. But then again, her kids’ pain was her pain, and he knew that.
“Do you need anything from me?” Jake asked, feeling a little lost himself at the moment. He wanted to console her, but couldn’t with Logan twenty feet away.
She answered with a little smile as she cocked her head to the side and said, “What are my options?”
And just like that, the playful Gillian was back. Jake smiled at her, lifted her hand to his mouth for a kiss before responding, “Anything in my power to give, it’s yours.”
“I do believe that is one of the best things a girl can hear, Jake Michaels. I’ll have to remember that. Can I call you when I get back?”
“Just let me know when, and all three of us will be back.”
“Thanks,” she said, as both boys jumped back into the Jeep, and Logan appeared at the passenger door to open it for Gillian.
Logan put his hand out to help Gillian from the Jeep and said, “Hey guys, heard you went to the batting cages this morning. Sounds like a great way to spend the morning.”
Jake tried to control his irritation at the mere sight of Logan touching her, but wasn’t successful with it. So, in a sarcastic voice, he said, “It sure was. I couldn’t ask for anything more than spending time with Gillian and the boys. Cages first then Brody’s for burgers—it was a perfect Sunday.”
Jake was certain his sarcasm was picked up by Logan; the man may be a complete a*shole, but he wasn’t entirely stupid. Once again, Jake could care less what Logan’s thoughts were about the day he just spent with Gillian. For Jake, it was a great day. He nodded in Logan’s direction once the boys were settled back in, then looked at Gillian, gave her a wink and said, “Call me later, beautiful.”
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~
Gillian giggled at how Jake winked at her, called her beautiful, and then backed from the driveway. Jake was obviously not pleased about Logan being there, and she liked that he was disappointed he had to leave. She was not pleased that her day with him had been temporarily cut short, but was looking forward to later and enjoyed the feeling of anticipation she felt about it. Her irritation set in as Logan’s voice sounded next to her, and she felt his hand touch her lower back to lead her out of the driveway. “I would’ve taken you and the boys to the cages today if you had wanted. You know I love going with you guys.” The little bit of poutiness on his face used to be adorable, but now … not so much.
“Oh, stop it, Logan. I don’t find that look attractive on you anymore. Something about you begging for forgiveness repeatedly kind of ruined it for me.”
Logan huffed a laugh before nodding at her. “Touché, my dear. Touché.”
“Do we need to go out, or did you want to talk here?” she asked him.
“I thought we could go grab a bite to eat. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”
Gillian shook her head at him. “You know how I feel about that, Logan.”
“I know, babe. Sorry, but the day just got away from me.”
“Come inside then, I need to change. I had completely forgotten that you were coming by.” Without seeing if he was following her, because she knew he would, she made her way inside. Once inside her bedroom, she closed the door and leaned against it. Taking in a deep breath, she smiled at the day she had. She marveled at the fact that she hadn’t given anyone else a thought while she was with Jake. First came the realization that she had forgotten all about her date with Mike, who was a very nice man. But then she forgot all about her plans to meet up with her ex-husband to discuss custody and living arrangements.
It wasn’t common practice for Gillian to forget things, or people, for that matter. It appeared she had lost her head, and it was over Jake. Smiling like a fool once again, she decided a shower was in order. Not that she needed a shower to go somewhere with Logan, but because she was going to see Jake right after. No, her days of dressing up for Logan were over—she wanted someone else’s attention now.
Dinner with Logan wasn’t as uncomfortable as it was weird. There wasn’t the usual hand holding or laughing. Logan seemed awkward around her, and it pissed her off. The least he could do was man up and act like a grown up. They’d been through plenty of things in life, and there was no reason why they shouldn’t be able to get through dinner together. It was just as their dinner plates arrived that Gillian had had enough. Putting down her utensils, she dropped her hands in her lap and looked at Logan. “Are we going to be able to get past this, Logan? I don’t understand why you’re acting like we’re complete strangers, and you’re uncomfortable sitting across from me. Just because we ended the marriage part, doesn’t mean all the other connections we had were severed.” Maybe she was a little harsh in talking to him that way, but it was ridiculous to think two grown people who used to share everything couldn’t talk to each other.
Logan looked at her, set his forearms down on either side of his plate, and took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “That’s one of the things I love most about you, Gillian. You never hesitate to call things how they are, and put me in my place. Truth is, I’m not sure how I'm supposed to act around you.”
A little baffled by his response, she asked, “Why would you act any different around me? We’re just having a meal, talking about our kids. We have done this plenty of times.”
“True, but in each of those other times, those were dates between a husband and his wife, but not this time. I don’t get to go home with you. I don’t get to make love to you.” He paused, and she wasn’t sure what to say to that, so she waited ‘til he continued, “I feel a little lost with all of it—not quite sure what to do.”
Gillian couldn’t help but soften a bit at the lost look in his eyes. Reaching over, she grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I know how you feel. This could all be very confusing if you don’t separate the parts of our relationship. There is no longer a husband/wife part for us to focus on, so you need to just look at us as two friends with kids. You have to, because I refuse to have an immature relationship with the man who fathered my children simply because he can’t get over things. We no longer have a physical relationship; we have a parenting one and even a business one,” she said the last part as an afterthought because they had yet to broach the subject that she was listed on the company papers for his business. He wasn’t the only Baxter in the title of Baxter Michaels Construction Company. “So pull it together, Baxter, because we got shit to figure out,” she punctuated her statement by squeezing his hand again before picking up her utensils to dig into her food before it got cold.
After she set Logan straight, their dinner was far more tolerable—almost normal. She and Logan had just come to an agreement on living arrangements, and who would be living where, when she felt her phone buzz against her hip. Leaving Logan to handle stuff with the waiter who just came to collect their plates, she dug into her purse, once again making a mental note that she really needed to clean it out. She pulled her phone out and was a little confused by what she was seeing. There was a text message, from the same unknown number as last night that read, how could you be with him? I told you it isn’t over! And right below it was a picture of Logan’s truck. It took her a few moments of staring at it to figure out what the picture was supposed to be showing her.
“Oh no,” slipped out of her mouth just before she covered it. Looking up to Logan, she could see he was watching her with a look of concern. “I think we have a problem, Logan,” she said in a weak voice as she handed him her phone. He was quicker at seeing the damage than she was.
“What the … son of a bitch!” flew out of Logan’s mouth a few seconds before he leapt from the booth, taking her phone with him. She was about to follow him when the waiter appeared before her with the check, looking a little baffled about Logan’s exit.
Gillian was quick to pull out her wallet and toss her card at the young man before saying, “Someone just vandalized our truck! I’ll be back in to get the card!” With that, she fled the restaurant to find Logan and prayed that whoever sent the text was long gone. Otherwise, she and Logan would be making any further arrangements about their children through a glass divider.
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~
Jake couldn’t help but watch the clock. It was after seven o’clock, and he still hadn’t heard from Gillian. He had no idea how long she had planned to take with Logan, but he was thinking he had something to be worried about., He had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach—not necessarily about Logan, although that was still a thought. He thought about texting her, but didn’t want to interrupt, so he set his phone down on the coffee table and sat back on the couch. Ryan and Dylan were off playing in Ryan’s room, thankfully, because he didn’t want them to see his agitation. A knock on the door had him jumping to his feet, but at the same time he heard his phone ringing. He grabbed his phone and headed for the door, pausing when he saw it was Logan calling. This wasn’t unusual, but since he was expecting Gillian, he cautiously answered, “Hello.”
“Hey Jake, it’s me,” Gillian’s voice came through the line, and he instantly felt better. The person at the door would have to wait as he gave Gillian his full attention.
“Hi there, beautiful, why are you calling me from Logan’s phone?”
“The police still have my phone so I had to use Logan’s.” Immediately on alert, worry climbed to the forefront.
“Why do the police have your phone? Are you hurt? Do you need my help?” All three questions were fired in rapid succession as his attention was once again brought to the sound of knocking on his front door. He slowly walked in that direction while waiting for her response.
“I'm fine, Jake; everything is okay so please calm down. I promise, I'm fine.”
Jake opened the front door to find Gillian’s oldest son, Jonathan, standing there. Confused at why he was there, but wanting to find out more from Gillian, he motioned him in.
Jonathan asked, “Is that my mom?” Jake nodded, and the young man made his way into the house. He knew his way around, so Jake left him to it and moved into the other room to talk to her.
“Gillian, what’s going on, and why is Jonathan here?”
“Oh, good, that was my next question. He’s there to pick up Dylan. It’s a school night so I want him to go home to get to bed on time. I'm not sure how much longer I’m going to be.”
“You still haven’t told me what’s going on, Gillian. Are you trying to make me worry more?” He made sure to gentle his voice when what he felt like doing was demanding an answer. Thankfully, he knew to restrain that ogre inside him before speaking. He really was worried, and it was bothering him that she hadn’t told him yet.
“I'm sorry Jake, I'm not trying to worry you—thank you for that though—worrying about me. It’s sweet of you.” She paused, and he heard her take in a deep breath before continuing, “Someone slashed the tires on Logan’s truck, all four of them. Plus, they bashed in his headlights and tried to kick in one of his fenders.”
“What the hell! Were you there when it happened?” he barked into the phone.
“No, Jake, I told you I'm fine so stop worrying like that. We were inside eating dinner when it happened …” Her long pause told him that he wasn’t going like what she said next, but he waited.
Finally, he heard her take in another breath and let it out before continuing, “I got a text with a picture of the truck, outside, damaged. There was a message with it, too.” It was his turn to suck in a deep breath as he felt his blood pressure begin to climb.
“What did the message say Gillian?”
“It said, and I quote, ‘How could you be with him! I told you it isn’t over’.” Her voice trailed off a bit as she said it.
He immediately recalled the text he had seen that morning and how it bothered him. Putting two and two together, he asked, “It was from the same number that texted you last night, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” she said cautiously. He immediately went on alert. Not only did someone have her cell phone number, but also knew what Logan’s truck looked like. Clearly there was a target. The question was whether the target was Gillian, or was it Logan? It didn’t matter; all he knew was that she sounded scared, and he needed to comfort her.
“Gillian, baby, do you need me? I can leave Jonathan with the boys and be there right away.” He didn’t want to ask—he wanted to tell her he was coming, but didn’t want to overstep any boundaries since things were obviously new.
“I know you would, Jake. I can always count on you.” The smile he heard in her sweet voice, coupled with her acknowledging that she could count on him, filled him with satisfaction. It was a great thing for anyone to hear, but more so for a man to hear from the woman he wanted to count on him. “But don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Logan will drop me off at home when we’re done here. You stay home, and please tell Ryan that I'm sorry I didn’t make it back in time for swimming.”
Jake huffed a laugh at that. He wasn’t giving a second thought to the plans they had, was only thinking about her, and here she was thinking of his son. “I'm sure he’ll be fine with it, but can I just tell you that I love how you love my son,” he said, pouring all sincerity into his statement so she knew how much it meant to him.
He heard her say, “Oh, give me a break, Jake Michaels, that kid is the other half to my kid. He’s mine, too, so you better never take him away from me.”
Shaking his head, he said, “Never … Please let me know when you get home. I won’t be able to rest ‘til I know, okay?”
“I will … bye.” Jake said his goodbye and went in search of Jonathan. He would make sure the young man double-checked the windows and everything at the house before they went to sleep tonight. Whoever vandalized Logan’s truck clearly had some aggression issues, and Jake wasn’t going to take a chance. Jonathan had made himself at home on the couch, watching television; Jake sat himself in the chair across from him.
“Did your mother tell you what was going on tonight?” Jake asked. Jonathan answered yes without even taking his attention from the screen. Not wanting to give away information that Gillian may have withheld from him, he probed further. “And what did she tell you?” The young man moved his attention from the television to Jake, and that’s when Jake could see the anger on his face. His eyebrows were scrunched together, and his lips were pressed in a tight line as he leaned forward on his forearms and clenched his fists.
After glaring at Jake for a few moments, he spoke, “She told me that someone slashed my father’s tires, bashed in his headlights and tried kicking in his fender. Then she told me that they found out it happened because somebody texted a picture of it to her.” A sudden concern flashed through Jake’s mind about who could possibly have done this, and he felt pretty shitty for wondering if the young man sitting in front of him could have. The thought of the semi-threatening message to Gillian cancelled out that concern. But still, the anger evident in the kid needed to be addressed.
Once again realizing he may be overstepping some boundaries regarding Gillian’s kids, and for the second time in one day, he hesitated, but decided it was necessary to ask, “Hey Jonathan. You got something on your mind? Do you need to talk about it?”
“Talk about what Uncle Jake? The fact that my father deserved to have that done to his truck? How about how I wish I could’ve done that? Or how about the fact that whoever did that to his truck seems to be texting my mom about it?” Jonathan jumped up from his place on the couch and began to pace as he let his anger out. “Oh, I know what I can talk about! How about the fact that everything my father has taught me is a lie!” Jake was confused at the direction of Jonathan’s rant. Clearly, he was mad at his father, but the why was not as obvious. Unless, he knew why his parents were getting divorced.
Wanting the kid to get it all out, Jake helped him along. “Come on man, what else?”
Jonathan paused in his pacing and gave Jake a look like he had sprouted a second nose or something, before saying, “Isn’t this the part of the conversation where you jump in and tell me some crap about my father being a hardworking, loving family man? That I should respect him and be proud of him?”
Surprised at this, Jake went with nothing but the truth, “Hell no! Why the hell would I spout that shit at you?”
When what Jake said sank in, Jonathan slowly lowered himself onto the chair he was standing in front of. Jake must have been the only adult to answer him candidly like this, so the kid wasn’t prepared for it. “Why wouldn’t you, Uncle Jake?” the kid asked in a low tone.
Without hesitation, Jake said, “Because that’s bullshit, I wouldn’t lie to you like that. It’s clear to me that you know things that have happened, and you’ve taken them upon yourself for some reason. Do you want to talk about it?”
“Why does she defend him, Uncle Jake? I heard what he did … why she left him. If she knows what he did, why am I not allowed to be mad at him, too! He lied to me, told me that it was important to be good to women. Never be disrespectful, always treat them like you would treat your mother, like they were the most important person in the world.” Tears shown in the young man’s eyes as he looked at Jake. “He told me how I should treat a lady, and he didn’t do any of that! And she defends him—all I want is to be angry at him!”
Jake could see the weight lift from Jonathan’s shoulders as he sagged back against the couch. The poor kid was holding all that in for over two months? No wonder he was a moody little bastard. “So are you angry with her or with him?” Jake asked.
Jonathan paused to consider the question before answering, “I'm definitely mad at my father for being such a prick. But I'm upset that my mother is letting him get away with it—she defends him when she should be trying to destroy him. And now, there is apparently some crazy person doing some crazy shit around her, and it’s probably his doing, too!”
He didn’t like how the young man was upset with Gillian, so that was going to be Jake’s first order of business. “So, you’re upset with your mother for defending your father? Did you stop to consider why she does that? Have you considered that she has possibly handled the situation the way she did … to protect you kids?”
Jonathan’s silence allowed him to continue, “Did you know that your mother hid what happened between them for a long time? She didn’t share it with me, your Aunt Allie … no one. No, the strong woman that she is, she took it all on herself. Much like the anger you’re carrying right now. Now, I'm not going to pretend that because your father has been a good father to you, that you should ignore his other behaviors. Truthfully, I feel much of the same feelings toward him right now and would have absolutely no problem telling him that. But I will damn sure set you straight with how you should see your mother.” Jake cocked his head to the side in question to him.
When the young man nodded his head, Jake continued, “You mother didn’t want you kids to know what happened because she didn’t want what happened between them to cloud how you would feel about your father. You have to see the irony of this, don’t you? She didn’t want you to know, so that you wouldn’t be angry with your father … kind of like you are.”
Jonathan rolled his eyes and said, “Okay, I get that. I do. But why does she let him get away with it? She talks to him like nothing has changed.”
Jake shook his head at the seventeen year old—sad that he was so confused about this. This was a conversation he should be able to have with his mom or dad. “Think about it Jonathan. That’s the kind of person your mother is. She doesn’t feel the need to harp on something and dangle it out there for everyone to see. She made a decision, she owned it, and she’s moved on from it. It’s her strength that allows her to do that, because believe me, I was there that night, and I saw what it did to her. We both know she would never want you to see her fall apart like that, but she did, nonetheless. But now she has moved past it, and I think you need to, as well, for her.”
“You’re not asking me to forgive my dad, are you?”
“Again, my answer will have to be, hell no. But I want you to make sure that you’re not upset with your mom. She’s worried about you.”
The young man hung his head in shame before saying, “I just don’t know how he could do that do her. Why he would do that to her?”
“That’s a question I think you deserve an answer to, but the only person you can get it from will be your father. So in the future, when you’ve calmed down, maybe you could ask him.” Jonathan nodded before leaning his head back against the couch. It must have been a huge relief for him to get that out there. Jake wanted to make sure that he also knew Allie would be a good person to talk to about all of this. “Hey, just so you know, your Aunt Allie—she might be the person that’s most upset at your father. You could always talk to her, too, you know.”
For the first time that evening, Jonathan let a small smile creep across his face at Jake’s words. “I'm actually surprised that Aunt Allie didn’t have him hospitalized. Is it safe to assume that my mom also stopped her from doing that?” Jake nodded a laugh at the kid for picking up on that part of his Aunt’s personality. Jake and Jonathan had moved past the heavy stuff and into a lighter mood when Dylan and Ryan came into the room. Both boys said hello to Jonathan as they sat on either side of him. Jake was about to comment on how the boys should give him a little space when Dylan dropped a bomb.
“Hey Jonathan, did you know that Uncle Jake likes Mom, and he kissed her, and wants to hold her hand, and maybe kiss her again?”
Jake almost choked on his own tongue when he heard all that roll out of Dylan’s mouth. Jonathan’s confused eyes met Jake’s, and he raised his eyebrows in question. Of course, he wasn’t going to lie, but he would’ve preferred to deliver it to the young man with a little more tact than that. But, oh well, it was out there now, so time to own it.
Jake smiled at him and said, “True story, man. I’ve loved your mother since I was seventeen years old, and I plan to make her a very happy woman.”
Love Realized (The Real Love Series)
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