I had a lot of shit on my plate. Business was plentiful and therefore stressful as hell, Tara was dragging her feet with the fucking DNA test so that I could get her the hell out of my life forever or have my legal team help me to parent without the drama from her, and I’d been uncovering Big D’s fraudulence. If the baby turned out to be mine, I don’t know if Rayna could fly with that. I could ask her to but couldn’t force her. That would be some shit I would have to eat.
I had to brush that shit off and get up my damn self. Big D had been pushing me to meet with him since our discoveries at the Santa Monica Pier. He called several times and left messages. He said that I didn’t allow him the opportunity for us to speak about the “incident” and we should. I told him before leaving for New York that I would meet with him today.
I had done a great job at pushing the magnitude of his betrayal to the back of my mind. The truth be told, I was deeply wounded and dazed by it. I have vivid memories of my dad being a devoted husband, loving father and an overall generous man to all those he came into contact with. I’d always been at peace with his absence because of Big D’s paternal guidance. And to think that the only man who I’ve looked to as a father murdered my biological father. Big D might not have pulled the trigger but the deed was done under his orders. He didn’t stop there; he set my mother up on a drug charge that sent her to prison for damn near twenty years separating us. All of this and he’s never made any mention of this.
This man was beyond insane, he was depraved.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rayna
My night to host women’s Bible study had arrived. The women started trickling in just after seven in the evening, there were seven of them in all and I was nervous. I was not accustomed to having people over to my place and to make matters more nerve-wracking was having them over to the place that I now shared with Azmir. We’d managed to have little to no visitors up to that point.
I knew the evening would be somewhat difficult for me, but I pushed through the challenge. I asked Chef Boyd to prepare a light spread that he put his foot into and upheld his moxie. He prepared delicious finger foods, salads, and desserts that I would’ve never thought of. It was truly impressive. I used the dinning room table to set a beautiful display of his artistry. Azmir informed me that he’d be playing ball that evening and likely wouldn’t be home until well into the night. I didn’t hear much from him that afternoon or evening, but chalked it up to him being busy.
LaWanda, our women’s Bible study group leader, facilitated the session as usual and picked up where we had left off the previous week on the nine fruits of the Spirit. According to the Bible, there are nine fruits that we are to challenge ourselves to take on in order to live full godly lives. I found this particular series to be quite interesting. Pastor Edmonson had been teaching it during his Sunday morning sermons and had arranged with the various subgroups of the church to take it on in our sessions in order to personalize it.
Holy Deliverance Tabernacle Church was fairly large, making intimacy among the parishioners somewhat limited. So they came up with the idea of small groups to encourage fellowship. This women’s group was comprised of about thirty women or more, not one time have they all showed to one meeting that I’d been to. I had no idea why Pastor Edmondson recommended this group to me. Other than all of us being women, I wasn’t sure what we had in common. Much of that is because I’d never gotten to know them enough to ask about their personal lives.