“Oh, yeah. She should be fine. There will be lots of flavor there to expose her to.” I smiled. Thompson was off balance, his face blank of expression. “What’s wrong? You don’t have to feel obligated to come.”
“No….no! It’s just that…” I gave him a few seconds to gather his words, eager to hear what was running through mind. “Never mind. We’ll be there,” he said, dismissing his previous thoughts.
I wrote down the address to the theater and he left. Something was weird about his visit. Perhaps because the temperament of our exchange was lighter for once. Thompson always led with his ego. His aura had always been foul, in my opinion, and met with resistance from me. Today he was humbled. Cute even. Cute in a stray puppy dog that I could feed today way. Bizarre.
My day continued with little effort. I headed straight to the dance studio after work for a full run-through that included props and background dancers. There were two skits that the entire group participated in; the opening of the show and the closing. My act was somewhere in the middle. I didn’t get cussed out much by Jimmie. In fact, I was bestowed several satisfactory nods throughout my number, and for that I was relieved.
That night once I turned down, I tried to mentally and emotionally get a handle on what I had managed to force to the rearest of rears in my mind; Azmir’s cheating on me with Dawn Taylor. As I sat at the vanity in the bathroom, trying to pack make-up for the show, my mind churned with images of Azmir’s head descending toward Dawn’s mouth. And when my visual got to the point of Dawn’s reaction to it, my heart twisted and my throat closed.
Did he butterfly his tongue with her the way that he does with me? I swear, that single act from him, whether it’s in my mouth or between my legs, takes me places a plane couldn’t give access to. Did it do the same for Dawn? The tears wouldn’t stop. The hard bellow from the marrow of my soul echoed throughout the bathroom.
Call me a glutton for punishment, but I logged back into his mobile phone account. I wanted to see if there was further conversation between Azmir and Dawn. To my relief there wasn’t. Torturing myself further, I also scrolled back up to the texts from earlier this week, feeling the need to see it again, to be sure I wasn’t mistaking. That that part of my recent string of misfortunes wasn’t just a dream—a nightmare. I felt a trickle of pain that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. I logged out, not wanting to find any other heart-wrenching news. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, so I cried myself to sleep.
I was hit with another blow that following morning. Azmir informed me that he wouldn’t be able to make to the show. He called first thing that morning, awakening me from my sleep. I don’t know why I felt the twinge of disappointment that I did, knowing he’d cheated on me just days ago. But strangely enough, I did. How could you be thwarted by someone who has ripped your heart right out of your chest? I don’t have an answer.
“Brimm, you there?” Azmir asked after my delayed reaction to his news.
It also didn’t help that hearing his voice, his morning voice, woke my libido. It stirred something deep down in my belly. My insides betrayed me, liquidating. He still had a hold of me, to the core of me. It would make sense seeing he did in fact, steal my heart from its icy chambers. Azmir owned me.
“Ummmm…yeah, I’m here.”
“I’ve been trying to tell you since yesterday. I didn’t want to text this to you. What the hell’s been going on with you? Have you been that preoccupied with preparing for this show? I haven’t heard your voice since Thursday morning. You scared the shit out of me the other night!” Azmir took a moment to breathe. “I was ten minutes away from the airport when Roberto called to tell me he’d reached you.” He paused again, this time for an explanation.