We immediately boarded and were introduced to our aircraft staff that included a waitress who I could immediately tell was taken by Azmir. This happened often and I never tripped. There were times he caught on to his admirers as well and was embarrassed, but today he was so internally engrossed that he never took notice. My heart sunk.
The airliner was sophisticated. Too rich for my blood. I’d never flown on a private plane before. It made me wonder how often had Azmir. The plush ivory leather seats and benches were oversized for comfort. They were very fitting for a man of Azmir’s height and frame. The carpet was a rich tan shade, giving off a pristine feel of the luxury aircraft. This thing was huge and could fit over a dozen people. In the center of the cargo area was a forty-two inch flat screen television. To the left of the television area was a workstation with a desk and phone. At the far opposite end was another television mounted on the wall, only smaller. Who needs all of this?
I turn to the man who arranged it. Azmir’s sullen disposition had me afraid to talk to him. I just didn’t know what to say. Through my peripheral, I observed him as he sat back and adjusted himself in his chair.
The captain announced himself on the P.A. system, gave our expected arrival time and the temperature of our destination. I quickly did the math and estimated an eight hour flight. Coincidentally, the captain announced an eight hour travel time mere seconds later. Crap! My suspense was on overdrive. Where are we going? He addressed us by name, making it difficult to forget we were on a private plane. I was thoroughly impressed. Azmir seemed indifferent and more concerned with getting some shut eye.
Catina, the flight attendant, came over and handed us menus. I was surprised to see there were exclusively breakfast items listed. Suddenly, I felt Azmir’s hand on my right thigh, patting it gently. Without looking at me he says, “We’re in for a long flight, so get comfy. Order when you’re hungry. I’m gonna catch a few Zs. Order something for me when you’re ready. Surprise me,” he gave an adorable yawn before turning over and falling asleep.
The flight was long and provided too much time for my muddling thoughts of Harrison’s visit from the day before. He mentioned my presence causing a rift in his family. As I sit reclined next to this...Adonis of a man, I couldn’t help but to wonder where exactly I stood in his stratosphere. I mean, I’ve moved in and now what? We cohabitate until we grow tired of each other? Will he get bored with me? Then, I think of Azmir’s possible proposal. If that’s, in fact, what he was contemplating, he sure hasn’t produced anything—not that I’m terribly disappointed because I’m not sure if I’m any more suited for marriage than Azmir believed Tara was. But when I thought of him being with someone else, making love to them, singing their name in ecstasy, calling on them to come home at night after work, flying them on private planes like he is with me right now...I felt sick.
Oh, I just don’t know!
One thing that I could empathize with was the loss of Harrison’s wife. Tara’s baby came at such an awkward time, and the paternity issue must take things to another level. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know what to do. One thing was for sure, if Harrison’s objective for coming to see me was to get inside my head he had succeeded. What if Azmir wasn’t mine after all? What if I was simply the “in the meantime” chick? I felt an insurmountable sense of anxiety coming over me. My heart rate increased, mouth went dry and I felt wet everywhere. Panic began setting in. I felt my body jerking. What is this!
“Rayna!” I hear my name.
“Goddamit, Rayna. Wake up, baby! Are you having a nightmare?” I open my eyes to see Azmir looking spooked. He and Catina were hovering over me as I tried catching my breath.
“I’ll get her some ice,” Catina announced before scurrying off.
“You okay?”