“Well,” I started. “I’m sure this isn’t customary, but I don’t think Mitsy would mind. I could stay with Mitsy and…” I felt incredibly uncomfortable making a suggestion about how things should be done, but it seemed as if she wanted my help in finding a solution. “Baodan could move in with Eoghanan for a few nights.”
She stopped walking and faced me, gathering up both of my hands in hers. “No, that wouldna be customary. Neither is what I am going to suggest, but it seems I will have to help ye on, since ye willna make the suggestion yerself. I willna ask me son to spend the night without his pregnant wife, nor she without him.”
She fumbled with my hands a bit, hesitating. I could tell the exact moment she decided to get on with what she meant to say. She straightened, looked me straight in the eyes, and the corner of her mouth pulled up a bit into a knowing smile.
“Ye will stay with Eoghanan.”
My eyes widened. She laughed before I could respond, releasing her grip on my hands and walking hastily back into the castle before I could argue, leaving me standing alone in the garden with my mouth hanging slightly open.
She was a modern woman indeed. If there’d ever been a woman born out of her true time, it was Kenna McMillan.
*
“What are you doing, Grace?”
I messed around the bedchamber I’d been placed in, doing my best to waste as much time as possible before I went to invite myself into Eoghanan’s room. I’d been pretending to tidy things up, but the room was immaculate so I suspected I looked a bit mad, flittering about the room, lifting objects as I brushed away at nothing with my hand. Jeffrey’s question confirmed my suspicions.
“Uh, hey, I was just…” I gave up. “I don’t know what I’m doing. What’s up?”
He smiled and stepped inside, moving to place an arm around me, pulling me in close.
“Who would have thought, huh? All of this,” he motioned to the room with his free hand. “It’s crazy, but kind of wonderful too. Coop really loves it here.”
I nodded, gladly leaning into Jeffrey’s comforting arm. “Yes, I’m sure he does for a few days, but he’ll be ready to get home soon.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Grace. He’s an odd kid; I kind of think this place suits him even better than back home.”
I couldn’t imagine what he was getting at, but I wished he’d stop. Believing that there was a possibility that Cooper could be happy here made me hope for something I couldn’t have. “Well, there’s a lot more to it than just Cooper’s happiness.”
Jeffrey squeezed my shoulder and kissed the side of my temple, rubbing my back sympathetically. “Are you saying that you wouldn’t be happy here?”
I shook my head against his chest. “No. I think I would.”
“So what’s there to think about, Grace? Let’s stay. What have you got to lose? It’s not a prison here. Mitsy and Baodan have both said that should you ever want to leave, should you ever need to return home, Morna would help you.” He released me and paced around the room. “If you leave now though, you’ll regret it, Grace. You’ll wonder forever if you missed out on the real thing. The thing you’re never gonna get from me, the thing you want Cooper to see exists.”
Of course he would give me permission to stay. I’d expect nothing less from him, which is why I’d hoped he wouldn’t realize how much I wanted to stay. I’d been a fool to think I could hide anything from him.
“Jeffrey, you don’t want to be here. Are you saying that you’ll leave? Because you won’t, I know you wouldn’t leave Cooper here, and I am not going to ask you to do that for me.”
“You’re not asking me, Grace. I’m telling you that I like it here, too. I’d like it anywhere as long as I have you and Cooper.”
“No, we’re not going to sacrifice Cooper’s childhood, your job, your life, just because of this.” I didn’t even know what ‘this’ was. “This thing with Eoghanan.”
“His childhood?” Jeffrey’s voice was quickly growing frustrated. “A childhood of what? Seeing his mother unhappy because she sacrificed what she really wanted to give him what she thought he needed. A childhood of being picked on because he’s smarter than all the other kids in his class and he’d rather read a book than play a videogame?”
Jeffrey had made his point. I was using Cooper as an excuse. “Fine.” Tears started to fill my eyes, and my voice cracked as I spoke. “It’s not about Cooper. It’s about you and how guilty I feel that every decision in your life has been about me. And…it’s about Eoghanan. What if he doesn’t even want me?”