I could see the cloth dropping from my peripherals, but I kept my eyes upward, determined not to look at him. It would be my undoing.
In a matter of moments he was naked, but much to my gratitude, he wrapped a blanket around his waist, sitting back down on the bed. He reached for my hand and I joined him, looking at him with sympathy. He held his liquor relatively well, but he’d not feel good tomorrow.
“How does it feel? The scar?”
“I feel like meself for the first time since it happened. I canna believe Morna allowed me to lay there for so long when she could have healed it in a couple of days; though I know now why she did.”
That look in his eyes was back; the same look that would never show itself so boldly had he been sober.
“Why’s that?”
“Why do ye think, lass?” He kissed me, a hard, rough, consuming kiss so different from what I’d expect from him.
Whether it was the new freedom of movement he had or the loosening of his inhibitions from the alcohol, I didn’t know, but he quickly pushed me backward onto the bed, trailing kisses down my neck, dipping his tongue into the crevice between my breasts.
“Eoghanan.” His name came breathless on my lips. My breasts were rising and falling at a rapid rate, reaching up to meet his kisses, to accept his tongue.
“Hush, Grace.”
He slipped one hand behind my head, pressing our mouths together in a kiss so deep that it verged on the edge of painful. I yelped as he nibbled my lower lip and then moaned against his mouth, losing any will or desire to resist him further. Whatever he wished to do with me…tonight, I would let him.
His knee nudged my legs open, and I happily let them spread apart, trembling as he cupped a hand between them.
He let out one long, shaky breath and paused, resting his forehead on mine. “I couldna want ye more, lass.”
He kissed me and crawled off, leaving me wanting and confused. “Then, have me.” The words sounded ridiculous, even to me, but I wanted nothing more.
“No. If I had ye now, I would no be able to let ye leave, and ye have said that ye must.”
Chapter 24
“I know it seems like you’ve got a big decision to make, but can I let you in on a secret?”
I sat with my legs dangling in the castle’s pond, leaning back on my hands as I watched Cooper making a mud pie along its shore. I turned to hold out a hand to help Mitsy who was lifting the bottom of her dress so that she could join me.
“Sure, shoot.”
Mitsy kicked off her shoes and allowed her feet to sink into the water, sighing as it soothed her pregnancy-swollen feet. I could remember exactly how she felt.
“Oh, that’s nice. That’s really nice.” The bottom hem of her dress dropped into the water and she cursed, “Damn these dresses. Usually they’re not that bad, but now I just want to live in a pair of yoga pants until this baby decides to drop out of me.”
I laughed, patting her arm in sympathy. “I understand.”
She waved a hand in dismissal. “Anyhow, back to what I was saying. Don’t battle it.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you mean.”
Mitsy wasn’t the type of person I would have pegged as being intuitive. I liked her immensely, but it surprised me that she’d been able to so easily figure out what I stewed over.
“Was it so easy for you? Deciding to stay here?”
“Yes. Not right away, I guess. But as soon as I realized that everyone that I loved was here, there was nothing else left for me back home. Modern conveniences meant nothing compared to all of that.”
“I do have people that I love who aren’t here. Jeffrey, Cooper, Bebop.” She didn’t realize that it wasn’t a battle over whether to stay or go. I knew I couldn’t stay here. I simply fought a war with myself trying to accept that.
“I don’t know who Bebop is, but Jeffrey and Cooper are right here with you and, as far as I can see, they look very happy.”
They did, but we’d only been here a few days. How would Cooper feel in a few months when he couldn’t go out and buy any more dinosaur toys? What kind of mood would Jeffrey be in come football season when there was no television for him to watch it on?
“Sure, but that’s because neither one of them expects to stay here.”
“How do you know that? Jeffrey would do anything for you. I’ve only known the man a few days, and I can see that.”
I shrugged. That was precisely the problem. Jeffrey’s whole life had been a series of sacrifices he’d made for me. I couldn’t ask him for anything else. I wouldn’t. “Believe me, I know that if I asked Jeffrey to do so, he would. It’s the very reason I will never ask it of him.”
“Let me ask you something.” Mitsy was incredibly direct.
I appreciated it. Her honesty was refreshing, and it made it impossible to feel like a stranger in her presence.
“If you weren’t worried about Cooper and Jeffrey, would you stay? At least for a while?”