I first looked for Isobel in her bedchamber but, after my knock went unanswered, I continued down the castle hallways. I stopped when I heard the unfamiliar sound of Gregor’s laughter behind the closed door of the sitting room. His voice as he spoke was more cheerful than I’d ever heard it.
“Cheer up, lass, and doona tell me to no get my hopes up one more time. ’Tis yer own fault that they are. If ye werena so mad, I wouldna believe ye are getting well, but yer fire is back. I havena seen it in far too long.”
“I doona wish to be well, Gregor. No this way. Foul things will come from it. Wipe away yer smile, or I’ll remove it myself.”
Gregor laughed. Hesitantly, I pushed open the door.
“Knock. Knock.” I whispered the words as I stuck my head inside the room. The moment Isobel’s eyes turned on me, my knees went weak with nerves. I’d never been looked at with such disdain in my entire life.
“Doona ye step in this room, ye wee bitch. I told ye no. I told ye I wouldna take it. Why did ye give me the choice if ye would give it to me against my will?”
“Isobel…I don’t know what you’re talking about. I left the vial in your room. You are the last one that had it.” I pushed the door open and stepped all the way inside the room.
“No. Doona ye place this on me, Jane. I shall live with the guilt of yer actions for the rest of my life. Ye are a liar, and I doona wish to see ye.”
She stepped toward me in a manner that sent me backing up until I met with the wall behind me. For a moment, I thought she meant to hit me until Adwen’s voice spoke from the doorway.
“Doona be angry with Jane, lass. ’Twas me that fed ye the potion.”
CHAPTER 38
It would take time, but all of us were quite certain that Isobel would make peace with the fact that she would live. If anything, I knew she wouldn’t be able to stay angry when Gregor was so unabashedly thrilled. With Isobel’s health, he was a new man. I realized that I’d only known him since Isobel was ill. As a result, I had missed out on some of the greatest aspects of his personality. He was funny and smart and, when no longer under the constant fear and anxiety that the love of his life would pass away any day, was way less uptight than I’d believed him to be.
I stood watching the two of them from the tower window. Isobel enjoyed being able to walk the castle grounds free of the terrible coughing that had plagued her for so long, though I could see by her pinched lips that she tried not to seem too happy. Gregor held her hand, determined to keep her out of doors as much as possible to rebuild her strength. He sang to her as they walked, and his face held a smile so bright that it alone could have melted the few remaining clumps of snow. His voice echoed in the air, and I could hear it in the tower. I never would have guessed, but he had a lovely voice.
“We were wrong I think, Jane. Or perhaps, my advice was wrong.”
I turned my head and smiled as Orick approached me. I’d wondered about that often since Isobel’s recovery—if Orick had questioned our conversation as I had.
“Do you think so?”
“Aye, mayhap so. I dinna wish for ye to worry that something bad would come from healing her, but I dinna think of all the joy ’twould bring. I’ve seen Isobel enough that I should have known she’d never choose to drink from it herself. I’m pleased Adwen dinna let her die.”
“I am too.” A lump formed in my throat thinking back on the night I’d left her. I would be grateful to Adwen forever for what he’d done. “What made him do it, do you think?”
“Love played a part, but ’twas fear that made his final choice.”
“Fear—how do you mean?”
Orick moved to sit down on one of the tower benches and gestured for me to join him. “If ye’d not allowed Isobel to decide, who would ye have been thinking of when ye gave her the potion?”
“Gregor.” It was his love for her that made it so difficult for me to understand her refusal. We all would have grieved for her, but her death would have broken him.
“Aye, as would most. Adwen couldna see past his own fear at losing someone he loves. That is why he gave Isobel the potion. No for Gregor’s sake. I doona mean it as a judgment of his character, but I know him better than I know myself and ’tis true. Adwen believes himself far weaker than he is.”
Orick’s suggestion surprised me. I’d never thought of Adwen as weak. “He doesn’t behave that way.”