Let it Snow(The Hope Falls Series)

Chapter Nine


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Jake’s muscles were on fire as he ran up the incline on the steep hill and it just made him go harder. He was pushing his body further than he ever had. He didn’t care about the pain that was shooting up his legs and back or the fact that he still had to go play a basketball game tonight. All he cared about was running.

He wanted to get lost in the rhythm of his feet pounding painfully on the pavement, the sensation of the wind harshly hitting his face, and the constricting ache of his chest, so tight it seemed like he could not get oxygen. All of those things felt better than thinking about Tessa.

Running had always worked as a very effective form of cheap therapy for Jake. It cleared his head until there were no thoughts at all. Just him and the road. He’d spent the last thirteen years trying to outrun a ghost, and most of the time he’d been fairly successful. Especially since he’d stopped using alcohol to do it. But now that ghost was alive and well, right here in Hope Falls, and it was proving to be much more challenging.

Lucky, however, could not have been happier about his efforts. Two runs in one day was his version of doggie heaven. Jake saw Lucky’s tail disappear around the bend of Shady Creek Lane. When Jake had first rescued Lucky, they had always taken this route so Jake could run by and see the house that he one day wanted to own. To this day, every time they went on a run, his golden lab headed this way.

Jake came up around the bend just moments after his four-legged boy, but Lucky was nowhere to be seen. He passed the huge oak tree that stood tall in his front yard, which Lucky always peed on—marking his territory—and there was still no sign of him.

Then he saw him. Lucky was standing over someone who was lying on the grass. As he moved closer, his heart slammed in his chest. It was Tessa. She was unconscious.

His feet moved faster than they had ever carried him before. He had just reached her when she started blinking her eyes and moving her head to get away from Lucky’s kisses.

“Sit,” Jake instructed his dog, who immediately stopped licking Tessa all over her face and sat down with a huff. His tail wagged wildly and he was whining but he was sitting.

Jake fell to his knees and leaned over her, staring down as he asked, “Tessa. Tessa, can you hear me?”

Her lids fluttered open and her blue eyes looked up at him. Her pupils were slightly dilated and her skin was really pale. But she was awake.

“Jake?” she whispered. Her face scrunched in confusion as she lifted her hand and ran her fingers along her cheek. “Were you licking me?”

“No. If I were licking you, it wouldn’t be on your face.” Memories of his tongue tasting every inch of her body began flashing in his head.

F*ck. He needed to knock that shit off. He’d just found Tessa lying unconscious, so the last thing he needed to be doing was picturing her naked while he licked her from head to toe. Damn, he was doing it again.

She made a small grunting sound, confusion still clouding her beautiful face as she tried to push up on her elbows.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he gently held her in place. “Just lie still, Tessa. Do you know where you are?” He needed to see how aware she was of her surroundings. It was good that she knew who he was and had been somewhat aware of Lucky licking her, but that didn’t necessarily mean she was lucid.

Her eyes darted from side to side and her fingers spread out on the ground beneath her before her beautiful baby blues looked back up at him and she said, “Um, I’m outside on the grass?”

“Good.” The corners of Jake’s mouth pulled up in a grin. He reached down and held her wrist to check her pulse. “Do you happen to know where that grass is located?”

“I would if you’d let me sit up,” she said, her tone indicating that she was stating the obvious.


Her pulse was strong. He checked her pupils—they looked good. She was getting a little color in her face and she was being a little smart-assy, which was a good sign. But he didn’t want to let her up just yet. “Do you know what happened? How you ended up on the grass?”

“Um,” she sighed and closed her heavy-lidded eyes. He was about to say her name and make sure that she hadn’t gone to sleep—he didn’t know if she had a concussion or not—when her eyes popped back open. “Oh yeah, I was going to the car to get food. After I looked through the house, I started getting dizzy.”

“When’s the last time you ate?” he asked, his tone coming out a little harsher than he’d meant it to. It was just that he knew that when Tessa got busy or stressed she forgot to eat.

Her eyes rolled up as if she were trying to remember.

“If you have to think about it, it’s been too long,” he pointed out.

She looked at him with renewed fire in her eyes. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“Two hours ago,” he stated immediately, “and I’m not the one sprawled out on my ass in the front yard.”

“Good point,” Tessa begrudgingly conceded.

That was one of the things he’d loved the most about Tessa. She was reasonable. Even if she had been mad at him or had hurt feelings about something, they’d always fought fair. No matter what the circumstance had been, she would listen to his point of view with an open mind. And even if she hadn’t agreed with it, she would at least try to see his side of things.

That was a rare quality to find in someone. Whether you were male or female. He could just add it to the list of things that were uniquely Tessa.

“So can I get up now?” she asked, pulling him out of his nostalgic thoughts.

“Oh, yeah.” Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulder, supporting her neck as he helped her sit up.

When she was fully upright, the new seated position brought her face to face with him. He didn’t remove his arm just in case she needed it for balance—or maybe because she felt so good that he couldn’t bring himself to let her go. It was probably the latter.

“Thanks,” she said as a flush rose up her cheeks and she licked her lips.

He knew she wasn’t doing it to be purposefully seductive. Tessa didn’t play games the way other girls did. But that didn’t mean that seeing her pink tongue swipe along her full lips didn’t make him harder than a steel rod. It did.

Jake closed his eyes for a moment, trying to get his body under control. Unfortunately, it didn’t have the desired effect, because as soon as his vision wasn’t in play, it seemed to trigger all of his other senses to come bursting to life.

The warmth of her breath fanned across his face, smelling sweet like peppermint. Her silken hair brushed against the back of his hand as his thumb, of its own accord, rubbed in slow circles around the soft skin at the base of her neck, where he’d reached out to support her. Her delicate shoulder was nestled perfectly in the bend of his arm.

It felt so right to hold her like this. Too right. If anything happened between them, it wasn’t regret that he was scared of. His fear was that it would destroy him. He had to do something before he did something.

Opening his eyes, he avoided eye contact as he placed his arm beneath her knees and stood, picking her up off the ground.

“Jake!” she cried as her arms flew around his. “I can walk.”

“Good,” Jake responded but did not put her down.

Lucky barked happily while trucking along beside them as Jake stalked towards his house.

“Oh, you have a dog?” Tessa asked excitedly. “Hi, handsome boy!”

“Hi,” Jake answered.

“Shut up.” Tessa playfully but weakly swatted Jake’s shoulder. “What’s his name?”

“Lucky.”

“Hi, Lucky. You’re such a handsome boy.”

Lucky barked and jumped up to try and get closer to Tessa.

“Down,” Jake said firmly, shifting his weight so he could grab his keys.

Tessa looked around, and when she saw where they were standing, her eyes flew to his. “What are you doing?”

“Taking you home.” Jake hadn’t meant to phrase it like that, and he wanted to kick his own ass for letting those words escape from his lips. Apparently, he was not immune to Freudian slips.

Tessa didn’t seem to notice his verbiage. She was focused on something else entirely. “You live here?” Her eyes grew wide with shock.

“Kind of,” Jake answered honestly.

“What?” Tessa asked as they stepped inside his unlived-in house.

Jake carried her through the front room that was completely bare of furniture to the back of the house, where a lone couch sat. As gently as possible, he set her down in it and moved across the hardwood floors, his sneakers squeaking loudly on them, to the kitchen.

“Wow.” She looked around the large space. “So you really bought this place, huh?”

“Yep,” he said as he opened the cabinets to take inventory of what little food he kept there. Looks like peanut butter and jelly was on the menu this afternoon.

“Did you just move in?” Tessa asked.

“I haven’t moved in yet.” Jake spread the peanut butter on the slice of wheat bread and tried to disconnect himself from all of the uncontrollable feelings that he was having from Tessa being here, in his house. The one they’d talked about raising a family and growing old together in.

“Oh. When are you moving in?” Tessa asked.

“I don’t know.” He brought her the sandwich and a water and sat beside her.

“I have a protein bar in my car,” she said as she took the paper plate and water bottle.

“Eat,” he responded.

She looked at him for a beat, and he thought for a moment that she was going to refuse to eat it, but then she took a bite.

They sat silently while she ate. Well semi-silently. She was ooing and awwing over Lucky, who was sitting beside her in seventh heaven as she fed him bites of her crust.

“Thank you. For everything,” she said sincerely after she chewed the last bite and took a long drink of water. “Well, I should let you get back to”—her eyes scanned him—“your running.”

“Tessa, wait.”

She froze for a moment, half off the couch. Then slowly she sat back down.

“What?” she asked uncertainly.

Good question. Jake realized he didn’t know why he’d stopped her. He just wasn’t ready for her to go. But since he had, he might as well get some information.

“Why were you at Adeline’s?” Yes, it might be a stupid question. Obviously if Tessa was in Hope Falls, she would want to come by and see her grandma’s house.

Tessa sighed. “She left the house to me in her will.”

“And that’s bad?” Jake would have assumed that Tessa would have expected the house to be left to her. Or maybe any reminder of Hope Falls was just bad to Tessa.

She looked at him and he could tell that she was battling with whether or not to talk to him about what was going on with her. He waited. He wasn’t going to beg. He’d done that before and he wasn’t about to do it again.

“Do you really want to hear about this?” she asked.

“Yes.” Of course he did.

Seemed like they were both full of stupid questions today.

*

Tessa ran her fingers through Lucky’s soft fur as he snuggled his large head against her thigh. She was torn about opening up to Jake. None of this was his problem, but she was scared that he would take it on as his—and she was equally scared that he wouldn’t.

But this was Jake. If he wanted to know what was going on, then the least she could do was tell him. She owed him that much.

“I owe over a hundred thousand dollars on a second mortgage and back taxes. The bank is going to foreclose in forty-five days if I don’t come up with the money. But the good news is Lauren feels like, with some TLC and minor repairs, I should be able to sell it for at least that much.” She tried to sum up the situation as succinctly as possible.

“You said Adeline passed nine months ago. Why did you wait so long to take care of this?”

Tessa knew that it was a fair question. She would have asked the same thing if she were in Jake’s shoes. Still, that didn’t change the fact that it really pissed her off. He had no clue what she had been through the last nine months. Or nine years for that matter.

But she’d decided to tell Jake what he wanted to know. “I just found out about the house three days ago. I was trying to get a loan to open up a studio in Mission Beach and was denied for bad credit. When I looked into it, I found out about the will and the house. Then I found out how much money I owed a little earlier today, when I met with Lauren to discuss the house.”

His facial expression didn’t change as he asked, “So what’s your plan?”

“Well, I was still formulating one when I passed out cold, but so far it looks like I will fix up the house and sell it. I don’t really see any other options.”

“So you can buy your studio?”

“So I can get out of the mountain of debt I’ve just found myself in and try to salvage my credit score,” Tessa clarified.


“And buy your studio,” Jake repeated coldly.

Okay, obviously Tessa wasn’t one of Jake’s favorite people, and it wasn’t like she’d known him as an adult. But it still surprised her that he was being so…unfeeling. She had just lost her grandma. Jake knew more than anyone how much she had meant to Tessa. She would have thought that he would find it in his heart to be a just a little sympathetic towards her.

Oh well. She’d gotten by without his caring for the first sixteen years of her life and for the last thirteen. She didn’t need it now. “First I need to take care of the house. Once that’s done, I’ll figure out my next move.”

As soon as the word move came out of Tessa’s mouth, Jake’s face flinched, but he quickly recovered and was wearing his newly favored mask of neutrality before she could blink. His big brown eyes, the ones she used to lose herself in, stared at her blankly.

“So you’re staying in town while you fix it up?”

His expression might be unreadable but he sure didn’t sound too happy about that scenario. But it’s not like she had a lot of options. It wasn’t like she could commute from San Diego every day to work on the house. Even though she was pretty sure he wouldn’t like her answer and would not be throwing her a welcome home party anytime soon, she confirmed, “Yep.”

“Where?”

Seriously. “Sue Ann’s. Until I get the house to the point where it’s habitable.”

Jake shook his head. “You can stay here.”

“What?!” Tessa’s raised voice caused Lucky to lift his sleepy head and bark. She began petting him behind his ears and he lay right back down and closed his eyes. Slicing her gaze back to Jake, Tessa searched his eyes to try and find some clue as to what could possibly have motivated him to say something so outrageous.

“It makes the most sense. I’m not moved in yet and it’s right next door to Adeline’s. That way you can get done what you need to do and get back to your life.”

Jake’s explanation did nothing in the way of clearing up Tessa’s confusion. First of all, Sue Ann’s was only about a three-minute drive away. So she didn’t really think that the six-minute—round trip!—commute had anything to do with his offer. Then the way he’d said “get back to your life” with more than a hint of disdain told her that he still resented the fact that she’d left and was going to be leaving again, so why would he want her staying in his vacant house? Which begged another question.

“Why haven’t you moved in?”

Jake didn’t reply. Instead, his body tensed and he leaned forward on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees. Dropping his head in his hands, he raked his fingers through his thick brown hair and sighed loudly.

It always broke Tessa’s heart to see Jake upset. He was always so happy, the life of the party, always wearing a smile on his face. So any time he looked angry, hurt, upset, or confused, it seemed magnified to her since it was in such complete opposition to his normal state. She would do anything to put the smile back on his face.

She did recognize the irony in the fact that the time she’d seen him the most upset, devastated in fact, she’d been the one who’d caused it. But it had been for him…even if he didn’t know it.

Without even thinking about it, Tessa reached out and rubbed her hand up and down his back in comfort. His shirt was damp with sweat, and she could feel the muscles in his strong back rippling beneath her featherlight touch. Her mind began wandering to what his bare skin would feel like. Look like. Taste like. Her fingers began tingling with arousal just as Jake suddenly jerked to a standing position and walked to the kitchen.

Tessa pulled her hand back quickly, as if she’d touched a hot stove. Which, metaphorically, she guessed she had. Jake was hot, and touching him could only lead to her getting burned. Looking down, she began petting Lucky again and tried to shake off her intense physical reaction to Jake.

It had always been like that with them. Just being in his presence had never failed to cause her body to come alive with passion and desire. Then the second they’d touch, electric bliss would spread through her. Like his body was a living, breathing live wire.

When he’d carried her into the house earlier, she’d still felt like she had been coming out of a deep sleep. She hadn’t been fully present. It had felt more like she had been sleepwalking—or being sleep-carried.

But just now when she’d touched him, she realized that, if anything, his effect on her had increased—not decreased—in the thirteen years they’d been apart.

Great. That was just what she needed. One more thing to add to her list of things that sucked. No, she shouldn’t look at it that way.

Tessa had made the decision over a decade ago when it became glaringly obvious that she would never get over Jake and that no man would ever come close to taking his place in her heart, that she would just be grateful for the fact that she’d had that once-in-a-lifetime love. Some people lived their whole lives and never experienced even a tenth of what she’d had with Jake.

“So you’ll stay here,” Jake pronounced as he leaned casually against the black slate countertop of his kitchen island. His hands rested on the sleek black counter on either side of him and he crossed one ankle over the other, appearing to be the poster boy of cool, calm, and collected.

But Tessa knew Jake. He was far from relaxed and calm. The vein in the left side of his neck, that only popped out when he was extremely aroused or really pissed off, was popping out something fierce. She’d loved that vein. When they would make love, she would lick from the bottom of it to the top where it disappeared beneath his earlobe. He would always growl with male appreciation and grow bigger inside of her.

It would also make an appearance when he was mad over a bad ref call when he’d played football or when his friends would talk about how hot his little sisters were. One quick glance down to his sweats told her that Jake was not suffering from the same reaction to her as she was to him, so that left really pissed off.

“I can’t stay here, Jake,” she replied firmly. Talk about a daily reminder of what she could have had. Staying here would be a cruel form of emotional and mental torture.

“Why not?” Jake crossed his arms, causing the thin cotton material that covered them to pull taut, and the sight made Tessa’s pulse race.

Holy hot tamale!

Standing in front of her, all six foot two of him, Jake wasn’t just sexy. Sexy she could handle. No. He was toe-curling, spine-tingling, panty-melting, mouth-watering, forget-your-name-and-birthday sexy. It made it very difficult to carry on conversations with him. Always had.

“What?” Tessa asked since she had completely lost her train of thought.

The corner of his mouth twitched. Damn it. She’d been caught.

“Why won’t you stay here?” he asked again.

Since he hadn’t answered her honestly the first time, she decided two could play the question game. “Why do you want me to stay here, Jake?”

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. She hated awkward silences, but she was not about to answer first. Nope. If he wanted to know why she couldn’t stay here—which she would have thought was obvious!—then he needed to tell her why he even wanted her there in the first place.

Again, his large hands raked through his hair in frustration. “I don’t know,” he said, and he looked back at her, holding his hands out then dropping them back down. “I just do.”

The lost look in his gorgeous brown eyes crushed the remaining pieces of her heart. In that moment, she knew. It didn’t matter what staying in this house would cost her. If that’s what Jake wanted—needed—then she had no choice.

“Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll stay here.”

A look of equal parts relief and sadness crossed his face before he nodded, pushed off the counter, and walked past her, casually saying, “All right good. Let me show you where everything is.”

Right. Because a grand tour of her ex-boyfriend-slash-love-of-her-freaking-life’s house—the one they had planned on living in and raising a family in but was now vacant (even though he owned it)—that he was insisting she stayed in while she fixed her grandma’s house next door after he’d just found her passed out on the lawn and made her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich was perfectly normal.

She was sure this was how lots of people were spending their Thursday afternoons.