Let it Snow(The Hope Falls Series)

Chapter Twenty-Nine


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Jake stood to the side of the small altar in Hope Falls Community Church, trying to put on a good show, but he felt miserable. The bridesmaids had just walked down the aisle and Amy was next. He still couldn’t believe that his baby sister was really getting married today. He still thought of her as basically a little kid, even though he knew that was ridiculous.

He looked around, trying to distract himself from all the rioting emotions he was feeling. Everyone was dressed in their Sunday best. He smiled at Nikki, who was Amy’s maid of honor. Next to her stood Sara and Shelby, Matt’s sisters. He himself stood next to Eric and Matt’s brother-in-law, Sara’s husband. His mother sat on the front pew, already weepy even though the ceremony hadn’t yet begun.

Jake was also having a hard time keeping from misting up, but not for the same reasons as his mom. Sure, he loved his kid sister, and yeah, he was happy for her. And yes, of course, there was the fact that both sides of his heritage—Irish and Italian—had imbued him with more than a healthy sense of passion and emotion and very little inhibition about showing it. But that wasn’t it either.


No, the reason why Jake was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check was currently scurrying around the back of the church, camera around her neck, snapping pictures like a woman possessed.

Tessa. Damn. Since he’d left her this morning on the porch he hadn’t had a chance to talk to her. He’d been on wedding duty the entire day.

All day had been consumed with running last-minute errands for his mom and sisters. It had been wedding, wedding, wedding every minute. And each task he’d completed had brought Tessa to his mind. What their wedding would be like.

Tessa in a wedding gown. Tessa walking toward him down the aisle. Tessa, her face radiant as he lifted her veil. Tessa with tears running down her face as they spoke their vows to one another from the bottoms of their hearts. Tessa as he leaned down to give her their first kiss as husband and wife. And finally, he and Tessa walking hand in hand back up the aisle after Pastor Harrison announced them as Mr. and Mrs. Maguire.

Damn.

He seriously needed to get a grip!

Jake was snapped from his reverie as he heard the opening strains of Pachelbel’s Canon fill the church. Time to focus. He needed to be there for Amy. He couldn’t spend the day thinking about him and Tessa. It would show on his face, and that would take away from the special quality that the day should have. This was Amy’s day, and Matt’s, and Jake was determined not to do anything to detract from it.

As the dramatic strains of the bridal march burst forth from the organ, Jake was momentarily taken aback by the beautiful sight of his sister in her wedding gown being led down the aisle by their father, who was continually pausing to wipe tears from his eyes.

Jake smiled. Yep. He had definitely inherited his tendency to feel his emotions deeply. The apple did not fall far from the weeping tree.

When they reached the altar, the music died down and Pastor Harrison said, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

His father wiggled his brow, a twinkle in his eye. Uh oh, Jake thought, that’s his ‘I have something clever to say’ look.

Amy had apparently made the same observation, because she elbowed their dad in the ribs and gave him a significant look.

“Well, now, let me see,” his dad began, and Amy closed her eyes resignedly. Jake smiled. Their father’s brogue was even more exaggerated than usual, which meant he was playing it up for effect.

Then, thankfully, Jake’s dad said simply, “Her mother and I do.”

Pastor Harrison nodded, a small smile playing on his lips as their dad placed Amy’s hand into Matt’s. From that instant on, her face was glowing, completely focused on Matt, as if no one else in the world existed.

Again, Jake felt a twinge in his chest. He recognized that expression. He had seen it on Tessa’s face in the past, and he knew that he had worn it himself when the two of them were together. He sighed and resigned himself to the fact that he was probably not going to be able to push out all thoughts of Tessa and their relationship from his mind. It was probably na?ve of him to have thought he could pull that off in the first place.

He decided instead that his new goal was simply going to be that, no matter how much his “Tessa turmoil” invaded his mind and soul, he was not going to let it show on his face or in his body language. He’d been hiding how he felt from the world for thirteen years. One more day wouldn’t kill him.

Just as he was settling on this new resolution and committing fresh to the idea of controlling his feelings, Karina and Ryan stepped up to a microphone that had been set up to one side of the platform, Ryan with a guitar slung over his shoulder. Ryan began to pick and strum the strings, and then Karina opened her mouth to sing a lovely melody with her beautiful, bell-like voice.

As Jake listened to the lyrics, which were about holding tight to the person you loved and knowing that all would be right with the world as long as they were in your arms, Jake started to feel a new tightening and aching his chest. Shit, the song made him think about Tessa even more than the rest of the ceremony had. He knew it was completely ridiculous to think that the song had any sort of special significance for his relationship with Tessa. Jake was pretty sure that everyone who’d been in love could probably relate to the universal theme, thinking every song written about love was somehow particular and special to their situation.

Still, Jake couldn’t chase away the nagging sensation that this song perfectly captured the intense feeling that passed between himself and Tessa every single time he held her, and it became even more difficult to keep a happy or even neutral expression on his face.

It also became very difficult to stand where he was and stay still, because with every fiber of his being, all he wanted to do was run to the back of the church, scoop Tessa up in his arms, and hold her like the song described, begging her from the bottom of his heart and soul for her to stay. To just…stay.

*

Tessa made the rounds at Amy and Matt’s wedding reception, a—hopefully convincing!—smile plastered firmly on her face and a heart that felt ready to shatter, beating within her chest. Getting through the ceremony had been difficult, especially listening to Karina and Ryan’s beautiful duet rendition of ‘Hold Me Tighter’ with the bittersweet knowledge that Karina had written it about her and Jake.

It was odd, actually, to know that piece of trivia. Tessa had listened to the song so many times in the past, feeling connected to the sentiment but also feeling oddly jealous of the fictional couple in the song.

It’s so simple for them, she had thought to herself. They were so sure of themselves and their love. The couple in this song would never end their relationship in the painful and complicated way that I had to let Jake go. No. They would see a clear path through the pain. They would come out triumphant and stronger than ever.

Yeah, not so much.

Still, as difficult as the ceremony had been, the reception was proving to be even harder. At the ceremony, she had been able to focus on just doing her job. The world didn’t exist for her in any form except through the lens of her camera. Every moment, there was a new shot to frame, a new angle to perfect, a new vantage point to hurry over to and claim. As tough as it was emotionally to block out the more sentimental parts of her surroundings, at least she had the work to focus on.

Here at the reception, it was different. She was still working, but it was a completely different process. This was a more casual environment, and as such, her process needed to be more casual in order to fit in well and make people comfortable. She had to talk to them, to chat, to give them instructions about where to look and how to smile.

At any other event, In San Diego, where she knew no one, that would’ve been a snap. Here, in Hope Falls, where she knew everyone, it was proving to be somewhat more problematic. It seemed that at every single table she stopped at, everyone wanted to talk about her and Jake. In fact, from her perspective, it seemed to be a much more common topic on people’s minds even than Amy and Matt’s ceremony.

Deciding to take a break from human subjects, Tessa moved her photographic attention to the cake table. After that, she would move on to the lighting and centerpieces because ambience shots didn’t require interaction.

As she was snapping away, she pressed her eye to the viewfinder and Jake’s face came into focus across the room. He was sitting with his parents, laughing at something his dad had said, and Tessa felt her heart slam into her chest.

All day she’d had to actively stop herself from running and throwing herself into his arms. Kissing him senseless and then making him finish their conversation. The only thing stopping her was that she couldn’t be sure if he was still really mad about this morning. Since before today, he’d never even raised his voice to her. Tessa had no idea how he’d react if she approached him now. And she absolutely did not want to make a scene at Amy’s wedding.

Now wasn’t the time or place, but Tessa was not done with their discussion. Not by a long shot. She hadn’t been when he’d abruptly stomped off the porch, gotten into his SUV, and driven away. She’d stood staring down the street for what felt like an hour, thinking he would come back. That he just needed to cool down and any second his Yukon would appear at the end of the street. But…it hadn’t.

Maybe that was for the best, she thought as she redirected her attention to lighting and centerpieces. She’d had all day to think about the things he’d said to her. To try and process all the things he’d told her.

Tessa had always known how much she loved Jake, but she hadn’t realized until this morning how much he’d loved her. In her mind, Jake was Jake and he would be the same passionate, loving, caring, strong man with anyone he was with as he’d been with her. There was no doubt in her mind that he was irreplaceable in her life, but it had never dawned on her that she might be in his.

She’d honestly thought the only option she’d had was to let him go and move on with his life.

After she’d gotten all the inanimate object shots, Tessa dug in her bag and grabbed her panoramic lens so she could get some crowd pics. Her mind was swimming with thoughts of Jake, of her and Jake—the past, the present, the future. Luckily, she’d been shooting receptions for so long that getting everything she needed was second nature and required zero brain power.


Which was good because her mind kept drifting back to that day in the hospital when she’d told Gran what she was going to do. Gran had told her not to make a hasty decision. To give it some time. To talk it over with Jake.

At the time, Tessa had thought that Gran just hadn’t understood how important having children was to Jake. She’d tried to explain that there was no decision to make, there was no choice—if she’d really loved him, she’d had to let him go.

When she’d left the hospital and stayed with her aunt, Gran had insisted that Tessa wasn’t doing the right thing. Gran kept telling her she couldn’t leave him like that and not tell him the whole truth. Tessa could hear her voice now. “That boy’s been nothing but good to you and he doesn’t deserve that.” Gran had also said that she couldn’t tell her what the right decision was for her or for Jake and their life but that she was sure what Tessa was doing was wrong and that he at least deserved the truth.

So she’d listened to Gran and decided to go talk to Jake before she got on the flight and took the internship Mary had set up for her with a photographer in New York. On the way to his house, she’d even started thinking that maybe they could work things out, that the shock and finality of losing the baby might have caused her to make a rash decision, and when he found out the whole truth, Jake would be Jake and magically make everything better.

She’d never ended up making it to his house that day. Driving along the highway, she’d spotted his truck down by the river parked in “their spot.” She’d gotten off the highway and pulled in behind him. That’s when she saw it. Jake…having sex…with another girl. Devastation didn’t even scratch the surface of what she’d felt. Anger, disbelief, and betrayal ripped through her soul.

She’d put her car in reverse and driven straight to the airport. She’d cried the entire drive because she’d known then that she’d been absolutely right in her decision. Jake would move on and find happiness with someone else. And that knowledge had shattered the remaining pieces of her heart into a million pieces.

Tessa placed her camera back into the bag once she’d gotten several usable crowd shots. Now she just had to wait for the cake cutting. Her feet were killing her because she’d made the idiotic decision to dress for style instead of comfort today and now her toes were paying the price.

She spotted an open seat at a table with her friends and she made her way to it. This particular table held four couples—Ryan and Karina, Amanda and Justin, Ben and Lauren, and Sam and Luke. She dropped into the one empty seat next to Shelby, Matt’s sister, looking adorable but uncomfortable in her bridesmaid’s dress.

Tessa smiled at her sympathetically. “Not a formalwear kind of gal, huh?” she guessed.

“Oh, God, no!” Shelby cried, horrified. “I’m a jeans-and-t-shirt girl all the way. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I can get hoochie-fied up for the club as good as the next girl, but skinny jeans and stiletto boots are a long way from taffeta. Only for my brother. Seriously. There is literally no one else in the world I love enough to wear this getup for.”

Tessa laughed. She liked Shelby. She liked anyone who would say whatever was on their mind in a given moment. It kind of reminded her of Nikki, who she’d always thought of as a little sister.

Tessa looked back at her to continue the conversation and found that Shelby’s attention was focused elsewhere. She was seemingly transfixed by something across the room.

Tessa followed her gaze but didn’t see anything. She looked back. “What’s so interesting?”

Shelby’s eyes widened. “Who’s the hottie behind the bar with the tattoos?” she breathed.

Tessa looked back, and then her eyes brightened. Happy for the distraction, she answered, “Oh, that’s Levi. Do you want to meet him?”

“Hell. Yes.” Shelby said decisively.

Tessa smiled as she waved and got Levi’s attention, motioning him over. She liked that Shelby didn’t put up any fa?ade of protest. She was a straight-up kind of a girl.

When Levi reached their table, Tessa made the introductions, saying, “Levi, I’d like to introduce you to Matt’s sister, Shelby. And, Shelby, this is Levi. He owns JT’s Roadhouse, the bar just outside of town.”

“I’m not surprised that you own a bar,” Shelby flirted shamelessly.

“Why’s that?” Levi asked, amused and clearly enjoying the interaction.

Shelby shrugged provocatively—well, as provocatively as the fluffy gown would allow, at any rate. Her eyes narrowed as she said with a bit of a challenge in her tone, “It suits you. Let me guess. You ride too.”

“I do,” Levi laughed, clearly charmed and wanting to get to know Shelby better. “Do you want to dance?” he asked, holding out his hand.

A slow smile crossed Shelby’s face as she stood and took it in her own. “Don’t mind if I do.”

With that, they were off to the dance floor and Tessa felt like she’d just seen an instant love connection. Or lust connection at the very least. Clearly, those two were infatuated with each other. As she looked around the table, all she saw were her friends paired up. Deliriously happy in relationships. Damn. Maybe there was something in the water in Hope Falls.

“Okay”—Karina leaned forward in her seat—“I think we all just witnessed the opening scene to a porno happen in real life.”

Tessa laughed. “There were definitely sparks flying between those two.”

All the couples began reminiscing about the first time they’d laid eyes on each other and Tessa silently remembered the first time she’d seen Jake. She’d only been in Hope Falls for a few hours and Gran had needed to run errands. So they’d headed into town and Tessa was given a list of groceries to get while Gran went to the dry cleaners.

Tessa remembered the how good the cold air conditioning had felt when she’d walked into the Pack ‘N’ Pay on the hot summer day. She’d grabbed a cart and had pushed it to the produce section. That’s when she’d seen Jake. He had been stocking the lettuce, and Tessa remembered feeling like the rest of the world had disappeared. She’d stood there, paralyzed, until he’d looked up at her and smiled. She’d turned her cart away and began picking tomatoes, embarrassed to have been caught checking him out. Before she’d even gotten two in the bag, he’d walked over, introduced himself, and made her forget all about being embarrassed.

He’d asked if he could see her when he got off of his shift. She’d told him she was staying with her grandma and she’d have to ask. When he’d found out who her Gran was, he’d just winked at her and told her to tell Adeline he’d see them for dinner. She’d been so tongue tied she’d just nodded.

He’d shown up at six o’clock sharp that night and the rest was history.

“May I have this dance?” Tessa sat up straight at the sound of the familiar voice in her ear. She turned to see Jake smiling down at her. Suddenly, the realization of the song that was now playing swept over her. Peter Cetera’s ‘Glory of Love.’

And just like it had all those years ago in the Pack ‘N’ Pay, the rest of the world disappeared and there was just Jake. “Yes,” she answered, smiling from ear to ear.

Jake led her out to the dance floor and enfolded her in his arms. “I’m sorry for this morning,” Jake said, deep regret tingeing his voice.

Tessa looked up at him in surprise. It took her a moment to catch up with the conversation, and then she let out a little laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Jake asked, a small frown of puzzlement furling his brow.

Tessa shook her head. “Nothing,” she explained with a smile. “It’s just that, for a minute, I had actually forgotten about our fight this morning. I was remembering when we met.”

“That was the best day of my life,” Jake said a small smile tilting his lips.

At his words, Tessa’s pulse picked up speed. Relief and hope filled her. Jake didn’t seem mad at all anymore, and he’d even apologized. Maybe they could talk here after all. “Thank you, Jake. And I’m sorry too. I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day—”

A sharp buzzing sound came from Jake’s pocket, interrupting their dance. Jake pulled his phone out, a disappointed look crossing his face. He exchanged a few words with the person on the other end before replacing the phone in his pocket and explaining with regret, “I have to go in and cover a shift. Now. There’s nobody else. This damn flu that’s going around.”

Tessa tried not to let the disappointment show in her eyes.

Jake took her hands in his. “Just promise me one thing. Promise me that you won’t leave town without saying goodbye to me first,” he said earnestly, looking into her eyes.

Tessa was taken aback. Why would he ask her to promise that? But before she had a chance to ask, his phone buzzed again and he cursed under his breath.

“I have to go,” Jake said as he was already moving away from her. “Just promise me.”


“I promise,” Tessa agreed, still not understanding why he would ask that.

As she watched him walk out the door of the reception hall, she knew that it would be a few days before he’d be off. She hated knowing that she couldn’t clear the air with him before that, but trying to look at the bright side of things, she told herself it had been thirteen years. What would a few more days hurt?