Let it Snow(The Hope Falls Series)

Chapter Nineteen


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It had only been twenty-eight hours since Jake had dropped Tessa off, but he felt like it had been a week since he’d seen her. Normally, he loved being at the firehouse. Jake loved his job and he loved the people he worked with.

They’d only had two calls, both of which were medical, and he’d been able to finally catch up on some of the paperwork that had been piling up on his desk. Which was a miracle in and of itself because the only thing that was occupying his mind was Tessa. He kept replaying every moment he’d spent with her since she’d walked into JT’s that rainy night almost a week ago.

Jake knew that if they spent any more time together things would get physical between them. What Jake didn’t know was if that was a good idea or not. His body had voted and it had come back with a resounding yes. His heart and mind were on the fence about the situation.

Logically, Jake knew that even if his heart and mind voted nay and it was two to one in favor of keeping things platonic between himself and Tessa, the second he saw her again, that would all be out the window. Their connection was just too strong, too real, too deep.


What Jake felt for Tessa was so much more than just crazy-strong attraction, being drawn to her like a magnet, or even craving her like an addict craves his next hit. No, with Tessa, it felt like she was a part of his soul’s DNA.

Which was why Jake had no idea how to even begin to process the fact that she would leave…again. The talk they’d had about the baby, about losing the baby, had made him feel closer to her than he ever had—a feat he would have thought was impossible. Sleeping with Tessa—or more accurately, making love to Tessa—would send things spiraling into an entirely different stratosphere.

Deciding that sitting here dwelling on it was not helping the situation or anyone involved in it, Jake decided to get the hell out of his office, which he’d been holed up in for hours. Things were quiet at the station house. It was two a.m., and the guys on his crew were upstairs sleeping. He knew he should really try and get some sleep as well, but every time his head hit the pillow, sleep was the furthest thing from his mind. All he could think about was the blond-haired, blue-eyed girl who had stolen his heart all those years ago and still owned it.

Pushing through the swinging kitchen door, Jake stopped short when he saw Chris sitting at the large communal kitchen table. He was staring down at the phone he was holding in his hand. He hadn’t seemed to notice Jake walking in.

For a split second, Jake felt as though he might be intruding on a private moment, but before he could turn and walk out, Chris looked up and saw him.

“Hey.” Chris’s voice was weak and his skin pale, apparent even though the only light source came from the moonlight shining in through the kitchen window.

“You all right, man?” Jake asked. The flu had been going around, and if Chris was coming down with it, he needed to get the hell out of the station before he got everyone sick.

“I just”—Chris swallowed hard—“got some news.”

Even though Jake wasn’t a betting man, he would wager that he already knew the answer to this. He asked anyway. “Is everything okay?”

Chris stared back down at his phone. In a monotone, zombie-like groan, he said, “She’s pregnant.”

“Who’s pregnant?” Jake had no idea that Chris was seeing anyone. Seriously, that is.

Chris let out a huff as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Sydney.”

Jake still had no idea who Chris was talking about.

Chris must have read the confusion on Jake’s face because he explained, “That brunette that I’ve been hooking up with for the last few months.”

“Oh, right.” Jake remembered seeing Chris leave JT’s with the same brunette several times.

“I just… I always wanted to be a dad, but I didn’t want it to happen like this.” Chris sounded tortured. “I mean, I like Sydney well enough. But, I barely know her. Most of the time we’ve spent together has been in bed, and I don’t even think I’ve been around her when I haven’t had a decent buzz on. Now we’re going to be parents?!”

“Look.” Jake pulled out a chair and took a seat across from Chris. “This may not be what you planned, but it’s happening. So my advice, not that you asked for it, is to be as supportive as you can to Sydney. She’s having your baby. Spend some time with her, preferably when you’re not intoxicated. I mean, you’ve got nine months before the kid’s here. Getting to know the mom would be a good use of that time. What’s done is done. All you can change is the present and future.”

Chris looked at Jake like he’d just grown another head. “Who are you and what have you done with Jake?”

“Shut the f*ck up.” Jake pushed off his chair. He didn’t need Chris giving him a hard time when he was just trying to help.

“I’m serious, Chief. That was deep. And also really good advice. I was expecting you to give me shit about this. I figured you would say it was my own fault or hadn’t anyone told me about the birds and the bees. But you didn’t.” Chris stood with renewed energy. “Thanks. I’m going to go call her back.” And with that, he left the kitchen area.

“I’m not always an a*shole,” Jake said under his breath as he opened the fridge to look for leftovers.

Pulling out some guacamole dip, he grabbed a bag of tortilla chips and leaned against the tiled counter top. Chris was going to have a baby. His sister was going to have a baby. Was something in the water?

Growing up, Jake had figured that by this age he’d be a dad. Have been a dad for years by now. He remembered that in second grade, his class had been asked to write a paper on what they wanted to be when they grew up. It would have made sense that he would have written that he’d wanted to be a firefighter. Or if not that, then an astronaut, a doctor, a cowboy, a baseball player, or something that little boys dream about being. But no. Jake’s paper was titled: When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Dad.

That’s what he’d always wanted to be. It hit him now that he’d lost sight of that once Tessa had left. He’d not only lost her and their unborn baby, but he’d also lost his lifelong dream of being a father over the course of three days when he was seventeen.

Since that fateful Monday when Tessa had screamed for him to get out of her room, he hadn’t given fatherhood even a passing thought. Sure, he’d participated in the act that could lead to pregnancy more times than he could count, but he was always careful because the last thing he wanted was to be a dad…unless it was with Tessa.