Leo… Leo. But I know I can't think of him. I don't let my mind go there because it's too painful. Of all the things I've lived through, he is the one thing I can't bear to dwell on for very long. He has a place in my past, and that's where I leave him.
I snap out of my reverie as the minister signals me to the front for the eulogy. Unfortunately, Willow had never made friends with people who roll out of their own pit as early as 9 a.m. on a Sunday, so my audience is small and at least half of them look like they're hungover, if not still drunk. I stand behind the podium and face the group and that's when I see him, leaning against a tree several feet back from the rest of the gathering. I'm startled by the sight of him here. I was sure I wasn't being followed. But how and why would he be here if he hadn't trailed me? I know for a fact I had never seen him with Willow. I would have remembered this guy. I stare at my mystery stalker for a moment, and he keeps eye contact, an unreadable expression on his face. It's the first time our eyes have met. I shake my head slightly to bring myself back to the moment and begin speaking.
"Once upon a time a very special, beautiful little girl was sent to a faraway land by the angels to live an enchanted life, full of love and happiness. They called her The Glass Princess because her laugh reminded them of the tinkling, glass bells that were hung on heaven's gate and would chime each time a new soul was welcomed. But her name was also appropriate for her because she was very sensitive and loved very deeply and hers was a heart that could be easily broken.
"During the arrangement of her trip to this faraway land, one of the newer angels made a mistake and a mix up occurred, sending The Glass Princess to a place that she wasn't supposed to be, a dark, ugly area, ruled mostly by gargoyles and other evil creatures. Unfortunately, when a soul is placed in human skin, it is a permanent situation which cannot be changed, and although the angels cried in despair for the fate The Glass Princess would have to bear, there was nothing they could do, other than to watch over her and try their best to lead her in the right direction, away from the land of gargoyles and evil creatures.
"Unfortunately, very soon after The Glass Princess arrived in this land, the cruelty of the beasts around her created the first large crack in her very breakable heart. And although many other less evil creatures tried to love the princess, for she was very beautiful and very easy to love, the princesse's heart continued to crack until it crumbled completely, leaving the princess heartbroken forever.
"The princess closed her eyes for the last time, thinking of all the evil monsters who had been cruel to her and caused her heart to shatter. But, evil creatures, no matter how demented they are, never get the last word. The angels, always nearby, swooped down and carried The Glass Princess back up to heaven where they put her broken heart back together, never to be hurt again. The princess opened her eyes and smiled her beautiful smile and laughed her beautiful laugh. And it still sounded like the tinkling glass bells just as it always had. The Glass Princess was home at last."
As I make my way back through the group, some faces slack, some slightly confused, I glance at the man leaning against the tree. He seems frozen, his eyes still fixed on mine. I frown slightly. If I knew Willow, his presence probably isn't anything positive. God, did she owe money to someone? Has he been following me to figure out if I'm someone he can collect from on her behalf? I frown. Surely not. I think it's pretty clear after about thirty seconds, that my financial portfolio is, um, lacking.
"I don't know exactly what that meant, honey, but it was pretty," Sherry, Willow's roommate (and by roommate, I really mean that that's where Willow crashed when she wasn't mooching off some boyfriend) says, smiling, pulling me aside and giving me a quick hug.
Sherry is a little rough and looks about ten years older than she actually is. Her hair is dyed blonde, with about an inch of dark roots mixed liberally with gray. She is baring way too much cleavage for a funeral, or for that matter, cage dancing. Her skin is leathery and overly tanned and she is wearing a thick layer of makeup. Her platform, stripper shoes round out the look. But despite the myriad fashion faux pas, she's a good hearted person and tried her damndest to be a friend to Willow. She learned the same lesson I had learned though, if someone is hell bent on self destruction, there is not a lot you can do to change their mind.
When I look again, mystery man is gone.
CHAPTER 3
I bussed it to the cemetery, but Sherry gives me a ride back to my apartment, calling out, "Keep in touch, honey!" as I dash from her car, thanking her and waving goodbye.
I rush inside and quickly change out of my sleeveless black dress and heels and pull on the uniform I wear for my day job. I'm a hotel housekeeper at The Hilton during the day and work part time for a catering company as a server, mostly on weekend evenings, or when I'm called. It's not glamorous but I do what I have to do to pay the rent. I take care of myself and I'm proud that I do. I knew that the day I turned 18, I'd be shown the door of the foster home I was living in, which both thrilled and scared me to death. I was finally free of being a part of the system, free to make my own rules and my own destiny, but I was also more alone than I had ever been in my life, no family and no safety net to land on, not even guaranteed a roof over my head or three meals a day anymore. I had to talk myself through my share of panic attacks. But four years later, and I'm doing just fine. I mean, depending on what your definition of just fine is? I guess it's a relative question.