Killing Me Softly(A Broken Souls Series)

"Jules!"

She turns from watching Stuart leave and notices Katie hanging out of the passenger side window. Katie raises her hands in a silent question and Jules shakes her head; opening the door and sliding into the backseat.

"’Bout time, wench," Tanya teases, throwing the vehicle into ‘Drive’.

Katie turns the radio down and twists around in her seat to talk, and Jules can see what’s coming from a mile away. She tries to throw a happy smile on her face, but she's never been any good at fooling Katie, at least not for very long. Katie is the analyzer of the group. You show up happy, sad or even angry, and the girl will pick at you until you tell her what’s up in your life to make you feel that way. She’s also the psychologist; the one who will listen to your problems and give advice.

Katie pops a stick of gum in her mouth, a well known stall tactic, and then starts in on her. "What was up with Mr. Football?"

Leaning forward, Jules steals a stick from the pack for herself. A quick glance at Tanya shows she’s busy playing on her phone while waiting to turn out of the school parking lot.

Thinking she might be able to get out of heavy conversation, Jules lies. "Same ‘ole, same ‘ole."

"Ha!" Tanya bursts out. So much for being busy, Jules thinks as Tanya starts in on her. "The boy just wants some action. I saw his grabby hands. You need to put him out of his misery already."

"Shh, she's not you, T," Katie chides; throwing an irritated look at Tanya before turning her focus back on Jules. "So tell Dr. K what's up."

"Oh, no you didn't. You did not call yourself Dr. K!" Tanya breaks out in hysterical laughter, which earns her another nasty look from Katie.

"I seem to recall having a thirty-minute session with you a few hours ago, T. Don't know what you're laughing about."

"If I knew it'd go to your head, I'd have asked Jules instead."

"Wait, wait…ask me what? Where was I when this conversation was taking place?" Jules yanks at her seatbelt so she can slide forward in her seat to get a better view of Tanya's profile.

"Boy issues as usual, no biggie."

"No biggie? And what boy? You've been playing the field all summer." Tanya throws her a look that clearly states 'shut it', but Jules isn’t deterred. "Spill it!" After all, these girls are always up in her love life. She has no shame.

"Nothing. I was just telling K, I might actually be ready to try a relationship..."

Jules almost chokes on her gum at the revelation. Tanya doesn’t do relationships. She's the fun one. The ‘let’s party, kiss every cute boy I see, and who cares what anyone thinks’ girl. Katie and Jules often liked to joke about how Tanya was trying to work her way through the football team. She's already made a pretty big dent on the O-line.

"And I told her," Katie interrupts Tanya to fill Jules in on what she missed, "that it was an awesome idea. Don't you think so, Jules?"

She doesn’t miss the crazy look Katie throws her way. Trying to decipher the meaning, she quickly chimes in, "Of course. You know I won't argue with having a boyfriend."

"Speaking of...?" Tanya pipes in.

"Yeah. What's up with you two?"

And...the attention is back on her. Throwing herself back into her seat, she slouches down and contemplates her situation. Katie and Tanya have seen her through the ups and downs of her relationship with Stuart over the last two years. They always know the right advice to give, but lately things with Stuart have been strange, and she isn't sure if her two single-minded friends can help anymore.

"Nothing. We're good."

"Jules?"

"Don't 'Jules' me, Katie. We're fine."

"Leave her alone, K. They're the freaking golden couple," Tanya points out as she makes pretend vomit sounds. The sounds earn her a light slap upside the head from Katie, and Tanya jerks the steering wheel, yelling, "Hey! I'm driving here — watch it!"

"What about you, Katie? We saw a certain DB throwing you some serious 'I want you' eyes tonight."

Katie turns back to the front, but not before Jules catches the dreamy look she gets at the mention of the 'DB'. The DB in question is defensive back Jeff Parker, Mr. Sweet and Sexy himself. They have a completely irrational relationship where neither one of them will man up and declare their coupledom, although everyone knows they’re way into each other.

"There might have been some talk," Katie hints, and Jules leans in again.

"Yeah?"

"There's always talk...it's all you girls do. See why I haven't done the whole relationship thing? Too much talk and not enough action, ladies."

Jules rolls her eyes at Tanya but laughs in spite of herself. "Good Lord, you're such a ho."

"Takes one to know one, baby."

"Whatever," she replies lamely.

All conversation stops when Katie squeals, cranks up some country rock song she loves and starts singing along with it. The loud music gives Jules the moment she was hoping for to sit back and think.

She doesn’t want to talk about Stuart with her friends because they are always on her side, and while she loves that about them, sometimes she needs to think things through on her own. This is one of those times. Stuart spent a good deal of his summer away; between football camp and staying with his grandparents in Houston, they've barely seen each other. In her heart she knows they've grown apart, and it confuses her to discover that the reality of the situation doesn’t seem to hurt her very much.

She’s excited for school to start on Monday so they can finally get more time together. Last year after school and practices they would sit in his car talking about the day or make out before he took her home. It was one of the few times during the week they had to themselves. In a town the size of Tyler, there’s no such thing as going on dates alone. Everywhere they went, they ran into friends. Plus with Stuart, everybody wants to stop and talk football, college commitments and Pro games on Sunday. It can be exhausting standing in the shadows while her boyfriend goes on and on about sports.

Yet, she does it happily. She’s proud of him and of his talent on the field. He’s on track to break a few state records this year. She knows she shouldn't fault him for being preoccupied lately; his plate is full. She sighs as she thinks about those kisses back at the school and the feel of his hands on her skin. Tanya's joke about him wanting action fills her head. So does his suggestion to go back to his place because his parents aren’t home. She knows what he’s hoping for, but she also knows he won’t push her if she isn’t ready. Maybe what they need is some alone time to work the kinks out of their relationship. Maybe if they are alone for a while, she’ll be ready to progress their physical relationship.

The sound of Tanya and Katie yelling at each other stirs her from her thoughts, and she looks out the window to see they’re almost at the Shack. Her mind made up; she pulls out her cell and sends Stuart a quick text.

Jules: Let's go back to your house tonight. I want to spend some time alone - talking...and maybe a little kissing too ;)

She isn’t sure how he’ll take her text. It sounds a little as if she’s offering up sex, and she fights back a cringe. Maybe she will finally do it. After all, she doesn’t have a clue as to why they haven't already. Okay, that’s a lie, she knows why – it’s never felt right. No matter how many times they've talked about it or gotten close to it, when it comes down to it she pulls away with a 'Sorry' every time. Each time she turns him down Stuart frowns, but he always assures her it’s okay.