Killing Me Softly(A Broken Souls Series)

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Chapter Sixteen. Alone

“We’re doing everything we can for her,” A man’s voice says to someone in the room.

I try to open my eyes but they’re so heavy I can’t force them open. I try to moan but something is in the way. Something is in my throat that makes me want to cough but I can’t.

“How much longer is she going to be in a coma?” Aunt Laney asks.

I’m in a coma? What happened? I try to lift my hand to tell them I’m awake, it proves to be as hard as it is to open my eyes.

“She’s been through so much, her body needs rest. The blood-work is all looking good. Her kidneys are working well and if you remember a week ago we were talking dialysis. We’re in a waiting game now. The body’s reaction to trauma is to retreat and regroup. She’s been through something incredibly life altering. The bruise on her brain is healing, there’s no swelling so she’s getting better. Encourage her to wake up, tell her she’s not alone and how much you love her. Sometimes people who have no medical reason for not waking up will respond well to people who love them. She can hear you; talk to her. I have to get to surgery. Hang in there, Laney,” the man’s voice says to Aunt Laney.

The fog is thick as I walk to my unknown destination. All I know is someone is on the other side and I want to get to them. I can only see about three feet in front of me. The pathway is uneven, loose rocks shift as I walk across them. Thankfully, a bench is in middle of the path, I need to sit down. If only I could curl up and take a nap I’ll get the rest to make it to my destination. I lay down on the hard surface of the wooden slat bench. My head is heavy but a sound keeps me from closing my eyes and succumbing to the security of sleep. In the distance, someone is singing a song I’ve never heard before. His voice makes me feel as though I’m not alone.

In her eyes I see the way she looks at me

Her heart is on the surface for me to take

She makes me be the best man I can be

What I’d give to see those eyes again, to know she’s awake

To let her know she’s the only one for me

The only one I’ll ever need

We’ll overcome the darkest of nights within loves embrace

Show me your love

Bring me your love

Fight your way back to me

Fight your way back to me

Fight for us

Please fight your way back to me…

***

I try to reach for the blanket, pull it up closer to me. I’m so cold I’m shivering.

“We have to get her fever down. I’ve ordered an ice blanket to help break the fever,” The man’s voice who was here before says.

“How did she get such a bad infection in her leg? She’s in intensive care, so I don’t understand how she got infected,” a male says, his voice is familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.

My leg’s infected? How did that happen? I attempt to get their attention by lifting my finger. My eyes flutter as I try to open them. I’m having a terrible time trying to focus and see who else is in the room with me.

”Look, she’s trying to open her eyes!” The guy says and I assume he’s the one who takes my hand in his.

The doctor rushes to my side and roughly pulls on my eye and shines a light in it. If he was attempting to blind me, he was doing a good job.

“Holland, I’m, Dr. Dewitt and you’re at Baptist Medical Center. You’ve been in a horrific accident and you’re in intensive care. If you understand me, blink your eyes twice,” Dr. Dewitt says in his game-show host voice.

I blink twice as instructed.

“You have a tube down your throat, it’s helping you breath. You had a collapsed lung when you arrived and several broken bones. I just examined your leg and it has a terrible infection. There was a gash in your shin, we had to leave it open for it to drain. We’re doing everything we can to avoid amputating your leg.”

Amputate my leg?! I blink twice to let him know I understood what he was saying to me.

The doctor leans over so he is face to face with me. I feel like a baby does when all the grown-ups are staring at you.

“I’m going to notify your aunt that you’re awake. This gentleman says he’s been dating you so we’ve allowed him to be in your room.”

I turn my head slightly to my right and standing there is, Tate. How did he find out I was in an accident? I try to smile but the tape on my mouth and the lack of moisture on my lips keep me from succeeding. I blink twice.

Tate walks over and takes my hand again. His once flawless skin is ashy and he has dark circles under his eyes. “Hey beautiful,” he whispers.

Out of habit, I try to say hi to him but the tube prevents my attempt. Without warning, my eyes well with tears and they start dripping down the side of my head, some fall straight to the pillow the others drip into my ears. The sickening sound of the ventilator reminds me that my body isn’t mine to control. My chest heaves up with every forced breath and no matter how hard I try to breath for myself I can’t.

“I’m paging them over to wean you down off the vent, your body is weak but you’re young and will heal quickly,” Dr. Dewitt says.

Where’s my Dad? Oh God! Where’s my Dad! My eyes follow the doctor and turn to Tate, I know they’re filled with terror.

Tate’s hand goes up to face and he wipes away my tears. He knows I want to know about my dad, I see it in his eyes. He didn’t survive, if he had, Tate would have said where my dad is, but he didn’t. Oh Daddy.

A nurse comes over and Dr. Dewitt tells her to sedate me so I can rest. I don’t want to rest, I need to get up and find out what happened.

***

Show me your love

Bring me your love

Fight your way back to me

Fight your way back to me

Fight for us

Please fight your way back to me…

He’s softly strumming the guitar and singing the song I’ve heard a few times in my dreams. I pretend to be sleeping to hear the lyrics as they fall from his lips. The song makes my heart want to weep with every word.

“Holland, are you awake?” The screeching of the chair as he stands up startles me.

The room is eerily quiet and I realize the lulling of the ventilator is gone. I try to clear my throat which sounds more like a barking seal.

“Can I have water?” I croak out.

“Let me call a nurse, I don’t know what you’re allowed to have.” He pushes the orange button on the bed and tells the nurse I’m awake. “Holland, I’m so happy to see your beautiful eyes. You’ve been in and out for weeks now. I need to text Aunt Laney, she asked me to let her know if you wake up when I’m here.”

He’s exchanging texts with Aunt Laney? Where’s my dad? “My dad, where is he?” I whisper.

The shocked look on his face gives him away. Tate looks at me and back down to our hands. His face is filled with emotion and his hand is squeezing mine. “He didn’t survive, baby.”

Baby? When did I become baby? “What? How?”

“You both were in an accident, a very bad accident.”

I close my eyes for a moment and my memory takes me back to the moment of metal twisting and the car crashing to the earth. As the car came to a stop after flipping time after time, I was able to drag myself out of the car in time, seconds later it exploded into flames. Oh dammit Dad, why didn’t I give you your medicine? Oh no, how did I not know? I’m so sorry! “I remember,” are the only words I say. I try to roll away from him to escape my broken heart but my body won’t cooperate. My leg feels like lead. I struggle to sit up and Tate pushes a button on the rail and it raises the bed to a sitting position. No matter how bad my heart is breaking into a million pieces, the tears aren’t coming. A lump in my throat won’t allow me to talk, it doesn’t really matter anyway, I have nothing to say.