Keeping Secrets in Seattle

chapter Fifteen


September 15, 2003

Gabe took me to the movies before we went to Cameron’s party. We bought popcorn and sat in the back of the theater. Every time his fingers brushed mine in the popcorn bucket, my heart would race. When we pulled apart, he brushed my hair back from my face and told me playing ball with his friends at Safeco Field was the only thing that could come close to kissing me. I miss that. I wish so badly we could go back to those times…

I heard back from Gabe the morning after I professed my love to Landon. Gabe seemed to have a knack for that. Showing back up whenever things were starting to go really well with my new boyfriend. And then…

Whammo. An e-mail like this from Gabe:

“Hey, Vi,

Sorry I’ve been so busy lately. I’m swamped at work. You know how it is.

I got your message(s) and want you to know that I will make sure we have some time to talk this Saturday. We really left our conversation open-ended, and it’s sort of driving me nuts. I wish Alicia hadn’t walked into the apartment when she did.

I hope you’ve got something really cool planned for my bachelor party. All of my other friends are worried that since my best man isn’t a dude, we’ll be sitting around eating finger sandwiches and crap like that. I’ve defended your taste for weeks now and promised that they’ll have fun. What I’m saying is: We need strippers. Lots of them.

Don’t let me down. Miss you, Vi. Can’t wait to see you.

Later, Gabe.”

Once I found out—through Nora—that Cameron wouldn’t be flying to Seattle until the week of the wedding, thus missing the bachelor party, I’d set out to plan the best night of Gabe’s life. The fact that he was acting as wishy-washy as a teenage girl didn’t take away from the fact that I wanted to give him the best party ever, even if he did call the whole thing off after I told him what a liar his fiancée was, and what a sick bastard Cameron was. And, boy, oh, boy did I plan on telling him both of those things.

So I set out to be the greatest best man I could be. I wanted to create an event that he would never forget. After much thought, I came up with the perfect plan. I had to call in a few favors. Well, actually, more than a few…try a boatload of favors. I made call after call, promising my hairdressing skills to everyone from my mother’s wealthiest client all the way down to her niece’s poodle. I’d created the fulfillment of a dream Gabe had told me about in a darkened theater years ago.

On the evening of the party, Nora greeted me at her door, grinning widely. “Come here and hug me. I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you doing? Are you eating? Is your job going well?”

I set down my box of supplies on the porch and melted against Nora’s softness, letting her cradle me for a few moments. I’d almost forgotten how good it felt to be in her arms. “I’m good. Everything’s great.”

She held me at arm’s length, glanced at my long raincoat, and gave me a toothy grin. “The boys are going to love this.”

“Are they all here?” I asked in a hushed voice.

“There were a few stragglers, but they’re all here now.”

“Vi.” Gabe came around the corner and eyeballed my overcoat. “What are you wearing? It’s sunny out.”

I grinned smartly. “Are all of your friends here?”

He nodded. “Yup. And they’re pissed there won’t be strippers.”

He laced his fingers through mine and squeezed my hand. I stopped and looked down at our hands for a second, our fingers bound together like the laces of a shoe. Feeling my skin tingle, I let go reluctantly, and Gabe sighed quietly.

Nora swept between us with a sly wink. “There better not be, young man.”

We entered the family room where there were eleven men, including Guthrie, Curtis, and Uncle Roy, waiting anxiously. As soon as I walked in the room, Uncle Roy hoisted himself off the couch. “Let’s get this party started.”

“I don’t know.” A young man I recognized as Gabe’s coworker, Max, scoffed. “A girl organizing a bachelor party?”

“Lame,” Gabe’s college friend, Dan, shouted.

The other groomsman, Lyle, snickered. “We better not be scrapbooking.”

I put my hands up defensively. “I realize that having a chick involved in a bachelor party, especially one who’s fully dressed, is a bit unorthodox. However, this is going to be the fulfillment of one of Gabe’s biggest dreams.”

“So then there will be strippers.” Greg whooped.

“Sorry, no strippers.” I hoped they weren’t disappointed that there would be no thongs and clear stilettos present tonight.

“Take your clothes off, then,” Dan yelled.

Gabe stepped up to my side and offered him a steely gaze. “Watch it.”

Every single set of eyes rolled to where Gabe’s hand was resting on the small of my back, so I jumped away from his touch. “Okay, boys. Go line up by the front door. Nora and I have a few things for each of you.”

Nora pulled a large cooler out of the kitchen. “Ready?”

I nodded, laughing. The cooler was the size of a small coffin. The group of men eyeballed the cooler with ravenous expressions. “No peeking.”

My stepfather, Curtis, came up beside me and gave a one-armed hug. “Haven’t seen you around for a while. Your mother misses you.”

“Sorry.” I shrugged. “I’ve been busy.” I didn’t want to add that I’d been avoiding my mother since Christmas because I was dating Landon, and every time I dated someone new, she would drag out her four wedding dresses for me to pick from.

He nodded knowingly. “I’ll tell her hello.”

As soon as they were lined up, Nora began tying strips of thick black fabric over each of their eyes, stopping only to plant a tender kiss on Guthrie’s chin and remind him to have fun. I noticed Gabe staring at me from the end of the line, his gaze nostalgic, so I offered him a wry smile.

“Okay, okay, you two.” Gabe peeled his eyes from me and pushed his dad’s shoulders gently. “You’re holding up the line.”

Once they were all blindfolded, and Nora had them all lined up on the front porch, I started pulling T-shirts out of the box. “Take off your shirts, and put this on instead. But still no peeking. All right, boys?”

Greg shook his head. “What? No way.”

“We don’t know what these look like. You could be putting us in pink.” Dan squeezed the T-shirt.

I walked past him, poking his chest. “You need to trust me. In an hour or so, you’ll be thanking me, I promise.”

“Watch how you talk to Dan,” Gabe warned me, adjusting his blindfold. “He gets the wrong idea from the girls who make his coffee at Starbucks.”

Several of the other guys chuckled, but Dan scoffed. “Hey. Maybe she likes me.”

Gabe’s lips pursed. “All right.”

“Are you hitting on the best man, Dan?” Gabe’s coworker, Jake, asked.

“Well, did you see her?” Dan’s head swiveled blindly in the direction of the last voice.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Gabe’s jaw had tightened.

“We all saw her, dude,” Gabe’s cousin, Trevor, added quietly. Flattered, I bit my lip and shrugged at Nora.

“Enough chitchat. Change your shirts,” Nora demanded.

Grumbling, each of the men peeled their shirts off. “Seriously,” Gabe called from his end of the line. “You do realize that the neighbors must think we’re freaks, right?”

“You shush.” I poked him in the abs. “You’ll thank me soon enough.”

Gabe grabbed my hand and held it against his chest. “Don’t mess with me, Vi. Where are we going?”

I had to catch my breath as a white stretch limo pulled up in front of the house. “I’m not telling.”

I reluctantly tugged my hand back and stalked away from him. “Okay, boys, our ride is here. Everyone stay in line, and Nora and I will help you to the car. Watch your step—we don’t want any injuries…yet.”

Nora’s mouth was hanging open as she watched the driver cross around and open the door into the neon-lit interior. “Violet, a limo?” she hissed, her brown eyes wide.

“I did the hair and makeup for this guy’s commercials last summer. Free of charge.” I winked at the driver. “He owed me a favor.”

She nodded, impressed. “You pulled out all the stops, huh?”

I chewed my lip. “Well, it’s for Gabe.”

His expression said it all. Appreciation, admiration, excitement, and…pity.

Once all the guys had felt their way around and realized that I’d rented a limousine, my popularity went up a few notches. Nora waved good-bye, and we were on our way. I cranked one of Gabe’s favorite bands, letting the music thunder through the cab as I handed each of the guys a frosty beer from Gabe’s favorite microbrewery. The guys were still mildly irritated that they were blindfolded, but started chattering back and forth as we hit the I-5 highway toward Pioneer Square and downtown Seattle. Most of the ride was spent peppering me with questions and guesses about where the driver was taking us, and what we were doing.

As soon as we came to a stop at our destination, the driver promptly came around to open my door.

“Thank you,” I quipped, taking off my trench coat and tossing it back into the Hummer. “If you could help me bring in those boxes that are in the trunk, that would be great.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, trotting off.

Each of Gabe’s friends emerged carefully, the breeze off the water a few blocks away ruffling their hair…or at least those who had hair.

“I can smell the Sound. Are we at the waterfront?” Gabe asked. “I’m taking this thing off.”

“No, you cannot take them off yet. And no, we are not at the waterfront.” I pulled the coffin cooler and yelled over my shoulder. “Put a hand on the shoulder in front of you, guys, and follow the sound of my voice.”

“Oh, come on,” Greg whined.

I stifled a laugh. “It will be worth it.”

“Dude, are people watching us?” Dan asked loudly.

I looked around; there were a few tourists standing across the parking lot taking pictures of the front of the building. “Yeah, there’s a few tourists. I think they’re from…India, maybe?”

Gabe was grinning now. “Come on, Vi, tourists? Where are we?”

I led the long strand of men toward a side entrance labeled Authorized Personnel Only, where a gawky man in his fifties stood waiting for us.

As we approached, he smiled kindly at me. “I’m Dwight. We spoke on the phone.”

I shook his hand. “Thank you for all your help.”

“Anything for Leandra.” He let my line of blindfolded men pass, reminding each of them to watch their step. We walked across an office, then through a maze of echoing cement hallways, as Gabe called out guesses from the back of the pack.

“Are we at the mall?”

“No.”

“The back entrance to a movie theater?”

“No.”

“A strip club?”

“No, Dan.”

“Dammit.”

“Where the hell are we, then?”

“Shut up and walk.”

After five minutes of walking through the cement tunnels and crossing through heavy metal doorways, we came out to a tunnel lined in dark royal blue with a light at the end of it. I let Dwight lead the guys toward the source of the light and fell in step next to Guthrie.

I touched his hand. “Take off your blindfold. I want you to see this before Gabe does.”

He took the black cloth off his eyes and put his wire-rimmed glasses back on his face. His eyes had widened to the size of half dollars, and his face broke into the widest grin I’d ever seen him sport.

We were at Safeco Field, home of the Mariners, walking out of the players’ tunnel onto the very field where his beloved M’s played every season. The retractable roof was open, and the late April sun was pouring onto the heavily manicured diamond, accentuating the vivid colors of the brown dirt, the white lines, and the short grass.

I’d been to more Mariners games than most women my age, and Guthrie had been to at least three times as many as I had. Some of those games were spent in some impressive seats. But as we approached the sunlight at ground level, nothing could have compared to the beauty of being on the field itself.

“I…what…how did you…?” Guthrie looked at me, and for a second, I thought he was going to cry. Instead, he put his arm around me and squeezed me close, kissing the top of my head. “You did really well. You are a wonderful, wonderful friend to my son.”

Tears sprang in my eyes, and I blinked a few times. “Thanks,” I managed to choke out as we stepped onto the brown dirt and into the sunlight.

The rows and rows of over 46,000 empty hard plastic seats stared down at us, and the deafening sound of silence filled my ears. Since the M’s were out of town for an away game, it was just us on the field. I’d never been to Safeco Field when it was so startlingly quiet. The only sound was that of Dwight, who’d cleared his throat, causing a mild echo to dance between the open-topped walls of the stadium. I waved at a delivery guy, who entered the field carrying a stack of pizza boxes and sat them down next to where I’d parked the giant cooler. I watched as several of the still-blindfolded guys sniffed the aroma of pizza.

“Okay, guys.” I adjusted my pigtails, baseball pants, and jersey, my heart pounding in my ears. “Take off your blindfolds.”

The blindfolds came off, and the sound of gasps and muttered approvals filled my ears. Each man was in complete and utter awe, with his mouth hanging open as he took in his surroundings. But I was only watching one face.

Gabe peeled the dark strip of fabric off his face slowly, and one of his palms planted itself on his forehead. He turned in a circle, his feet coughing up small puffs of brown dust as he took each unhurried step. It looked like he was on the verge of passing out cold as he took in each detail. The thousands of empty seats. The empty dugouts and abandoned suites. The unlit scoreboard and JumboTron. Each of his guests wearing a personalized Mariners T-shirt with “Parker’s Last Night Of Freedom” stitched on the chest. The oversized cooler was open, revealing dozens of bottled of microbrews, sodas, and water, and the massive stack of steaming pizzas sat waiting for consumption.

“Vi…” His voice came out barely above a whisper when his eyes finally settled on mine.

We just stared at each other for a few minutes. Though I could sense growing awkwardness for everyone else, I didn’t dare look away. The only other thing on Gabe’s list was to play ball with his friends on the same field as his beloved Mariners.

My grin was so wide it hurt. “Remember when you told me you wanted to play on this field?”

He nodded, and it occurred to me that he couldn’t speak. I’d scored a home run—pun intended.

“Well.” Dwight coughed uncomfortably. “You have three hours. Enjoy yourselves. I’ll leave you to your game, gentlemen. Oh, er, and…Violet.”

I blinked out of my trance. “Thank you so much. Gabe, this is Dwight. My mother decorated his house on Lake Washington. Dwight is the director of the All-Star Club with the Mariners.”

Gabe held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, sir. This is just…I…just…”

Dwight nodded. “I know, son.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. Gabe looked like a little boy again.

Dwight waved. “I’ll be in my office working if you need anything. Have a good game.”

I turned back to the guys, who were all looking around with open mouths. “All right, boys. You’ve got your jerseys, drinks are in the cooler, and pizza is in the boxes. Let’s make sure to get the trash into the bags I brought, so we can leave this place pristine, all right? Now let’s play some ball.”

There was an explosion of cheers as they all flung themselves at the pizzas and began dividing themselves into teams. It was as if they’d regressed in age by decades, their eyes filled with wonder as they fondled the wooden bats I’d asked the driver to carry in, and their cheeks stretched tight as they jammed nearly whole slices of pizza into their mouths.

I just watched from the outskirts of the group, sipping my bottle of water quietly by myself. After a few minutes, Curtis wandered over to me and bumped me with his elbow. “Great job, kiddo.”

I bumped him back. “It was a lot of work, but totally worth it.”

He took a pull off his ale. “For a second, I thought that Gabe was going to cry.”

I grinned. “I know.”

Curtis watched me for a few beats. “I know this is hard on you. Gabe getting married and all.”

“Yeah…it is,” I admitted.

He tilted his head at me. “For the record, nice guys, or girls, don’t always finish last, you know.”

I just stood there. Curtis and I had never exactly indulged in “heart to heart” conversations before. Sensing my hesitance, he went on. “Look at your mother and me. When you watch us, we don’t make sense. But in the end, you love who you love. So, nice guys, or girls, don’t always have to finish last.”

I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Curtis.”

He ran a hand over his balding head and blushed. “You’re welcome, kiddo. Which team you playing on tonight?”

I realized that the group had divided themselves into two teams while shoveling pizza down their gullets, and that just Curtis, Uncle Roy, and I remained. Dan was nervously shifting his eyes between the three of us, trying to decide whom to pick. I laughed at the sight of Uncle Roy, standing there, sweating already, a sliver of paunchy white belly sticking out of the bottom hem of his jersey.

“I’ll take Curtis,” Dan announced.

I walked over to Roy and linked my arm through his. “I come in a group of two. Whoever gets me gets Roy here, too. And he has a mean curveball.”

Roy patted my hand affectionately. “My favorite girl.”

Gabe winked at me, a silent “thank you” between the two of us, then pointed his bat at us threateningly. “It’s on.”

We played for three hours. Inning after inning after inning, nobody bothering to keep count—I’d lost count after 14. We played into the evening, and Dwight came out only when it was time for the custodial staff to clean, and to close the retractable ceilings. The floodlights covered the field in light as we ran from base to base, swung our bats as hard as we could, and slid on the sacred dirt of Safeco Field. By the time we were done, some of us were limping, Guthrie was gripping his hip as he walked with a grin on his face, Dan was sporting a swollen lip from a wayward ball I’d hit, Roy was wheezing, and every one of us were covered in dirt, grass stains, and sweat.

Once the drinks and pizza were gone, and everyone was beaten up from the night of amateur baseball, we called it a draw. We packed up the balls and bats, cooler, and all of our garbage, then headed back to the parking lot. I brought up the rear, carrying a bag of garbage, following the men down into the dimly lit tunnels, grinning to myself. I’d done it. I’d thrown the ultimate, stripper-free bachelor party.

Just as the group rounded a corner, a hand came out and pulled me back a few feet.

“Gabe.” I pressed a hand to my chest. “You scared me.”

A flickering neon bulb overhead made it easier for us to see each other’s faces. He stared down at me with his hands on my shoulders, and I could see that the bewildered expression had returned to his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Gabe pulled me into a hug so fierce, every muscle in his chest tightened against my own. I gave in, melting against him, and wrapping my own arms around his middle. I drew in a long, deep breath, savoring in the smell of Gabe’s body—grass, dirt, sweat, pizza—knowing in my mind that smell would forever remind me of this night. He dug a hand into the back of my hair.

“Vi.” Emotion made his voice deeper than usual. “You are so good to me.”

“That’s why I’m your best friend.”

“That you are. I love you.” He pressed his lips together.

I was dizzy. “Me, too.”

Gabe’s gaze was unreadable. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Do you remember the night you told me that you wanted to play ball on Safeco Field?”

He nodded. “I remember.”

Gabe looked torn. Like part of him wanted to close the space between us and press his face to mine, but the other part knew he should push me away. A brief image of Landon presenting me with train tickets to Canada for our first trip together flashed in my mind. Shoving it to the back corner of my mind, I gazed up at Gabe with anxious eyes. His grip tightened around my waist, and one of his palms came up to the back of my neck, where he grasped my hair loosely.

“Vi, I…” His voice was hoarse with effort as he started to close the space between us.

“We need to talk,” I croaked, my voice echoing in the cement tunnel. I needed to focus. There was still so much to tell Gabe.

His head jerked back. “Right.”

“You need to know about Cameron.” I swallowed the lump in my throat that appeared every time I said that name. It felt like it was made out of glass shards.

“All right.” His eyes darkened, but his arms remained around my body.

“And…I need to tell you some things about Alicia, too.” I cringed, waiting for his response.

“Alicia? What?”

“Dude. Where are you guys at?” Dan’s footsteps came too rapidly, and he skidded around the corner. His mouth dropped open when he spotted our arms around each other and Gabe’s fingers tangled in my hair. “Oh, uh, sorry.”

Gabe’s arms dropped and he backed away from me. “No, Dan, we weren’t—”

Dan whirled around and spoke with his back to the both of us. “Sorry. I, uh…was just looking for you. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Heat flared on my cheeks, spreading down my neck and under the collar of my shirt. “You didn’t interrupt anything.”

Dan glanced at me as we all started hiking down the hall in awkward silence. “Sure I didn’t.”