I laughed. “You’re following doctor’s orders. Wanna smoothie?”
It was her turn to laugh. “I’m going to turn into one, Joshua, if you keep making them for me to drink.”
My face turned serious and I placed my hand on her stomach gently. “They’re good for you and besides, I think she likes them. You sleep very well after you have one.”
“She?” Her voice was soft as she looked down and placed her hand on top of mine.
I nodded. “A little girl rabbit. My bunny girl. BG.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“What if it’s a boy?”
I grinned. “My Jack Rabbit then. Either way, Rabbit, I will love our child fiercely. Just like I do their mother.” I watched a tear slip down her cheek. “Don’t cry, Rabbit, please.”
“Happy tears, Joshua. I’m just so full of happy tears.”
I smiled and wrapped my hand around hers. “That’s all I want you to have, Rabbit. Happy tears. Now BG needs a smoothie.” I grinned as I stood up. “When I get back I want to show you all the cool things I found online. Did you know how much stuff a baby needs? It’s incredible.”
Rabbit laughed. “We have lots of time, Joshua. Um, BG won’t be here for a while yet.”
I grinned. “I know. Still, we have lots to do before she arrives.”
Rabbit laughed. “Okay, Joshua. Go make me another smoothie and then show me what you’ve found. Then I’m going to go and putter.”
“Putter? You need to rest.”
She groaned. “Exactly. Daniel said rest, not sit on my ass all day and sleep.”
I knelt down beside her. “You’re sleeping so much because you need it, Rabbit. Don’t push yourself. There is nothing you have to do. Let me look after you, please.”
She smiled and cupped my face. “I love how you want to take care of me, Joshua. But I feel like doing something. I was thinking of maybe making a pie for after dinner, and maybe that I’d cook tonight. Pasta?”
I wasn’t going to argue with that. I stood up, holding out my hands and grinning. ”Well, that activity I can fully support. I’ll help after I make your snack. Come to the kitchen with me, okay?”
Rabbit laughed, placing her hands in mine. “Okay.”
Adam called the next day. He thought we should know that Brian James’s father had passed away of a sudden heart attack. He also let me know that the follow-up meeting he had with Brian and his lawyer would be postponed until the following week. We spoke briefly, and after I hung up, I hesitated before letting Rabbit know what Adam had said. I wasn’t sure how she would take the news or if she would even care. She was quiet for a moment and then shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose I should feel bad for him; or Brian even. But nothing he did ever pleased his father. And, Douglas James never seemed to like me.” She suddenly laughed bitterly. “I was never good enough for either of them. That was the one thing they seemed to have in common.” She looked up at me and I was surprised to see a look of anger in her eyes. “I still don’t understand why, Joshua. Why did Brian insist on staying married to me? Why did he do all those awful things to me? Why didn’t he just let me go? I wasn’t what he wanted—he made that very obvious!” Tears began to pour down her cheeks and I pulled her into my arms, trying to soothe her. I had no answers for her.
“I’m not sorry he is gone. He was an awful man. He knew what Brian did to me; I know he did … but he did nothing to stop it!” Her voice was becoming hysterical and I regretted telling her. Daniel said to keep stress to a minimum. I held her tighter and felt her body shaking hard with sobs as I rocked her. “Hush, Rabbit. Please calm down. Please, sweetheart.”
I pulled back and held her wet face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “Listen to me. He is a fucking stupid, self-centered, narcissistic ass. I can’t tell you why he did what he did and I can’t understand how he could have done such terrible things. Especially to you, Rabbit.” I stared at her, not allowing her to break my gaze, my thumbs drawing circles on her damp skin. “He is the one that is not enough. He doesn’t even deserve to share this planet with you. He is a cruel, thoughtless, heartless bastard. He deserves to be alone the rest of his life. I hope his entire life is filled with regret. I hope he’s alone the rest of his miserable, lonely, pathetic, unimportant existence.” I drew in a breath. “I hope his company fails, his hair falls out and his dick shrivels up and drops off,” I added for good measure.
Rabbit’s eyes widened at the last statement. But apparently my childish outburst had stopped her building hysteria. When I stopped to take a breath, she lifted a finger to my mouth. “Are you done?”
I shrugged and kissed her finger. “He doesn’t deserve to be a part of any of your thoughts,” I mumbled against her skin.
She regarded me sadly. “I try not to think about him, Joshua. Sometimes it just … overwhelms me.”