Her brow furrowed. I gently pressed my thumb to the ‘V’ between her eyes. “We’ve never talked about this, Rabbit. I’ve never asked you how you feel about getting married again. If that is something you want to do.”
She shrugged, her eyes still wary. “I think marriage is a wonderful thing for people who are in love.”
I smiled gently. There was no doubt we had that going for us.
I took in a deep breath. “I’ve never asked you if you want to marry me as much as I want to marry you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “You want to marry me?”
I smiled at her, nodding my head. “So much, Rabbit.” My hand moved to her stomach. “And if there was no BG, I’d still want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Do you really doubt that?”
I could see her struggling with her answer. I hated seeing her unsure, even though I understood where her insecurities stemmed from. “Rabbit. I love you. You have brought so much to my life and I don’t even want to think of trying to be without you. I want to be by your side and experience every joy this life has to offer with you.” I gathered her hands in mine and kissed them, holding her gaze. I also now understood why she had left the room, saying she needed some fresh air, when I had started to talk to Adam. I had planned on telling her everything once Trina left and we had relaxed for a while, but I had no idea she had been thinking anything like this. If I had, I would have addressed it sooner.
“The things I was discussing with Adam? It was just regarding things I want setup for you; bank accounts and extra health care coverage for you and the baby. And how soon I could marry you after the divorce. I would never ask you to sign some sort of agreement about our child, Rabbit. I don’t want to control you. Those days are over for you. Please believe that.” My hands gripped hers tightly between us. “Life with me will be different, Rabbit. It will be good. I swear.”
I watched as a tear slid down her cheek. “Do you … do you want to marry me, Rabbit?” I asked warily.
Her eyes glimmered with tears. “Yes, I do, Joshua. So much.”
I pulled her to me and kissed her intensely. I pulled back, breathing deeply. “Let me do this right then. I love you. More than I can even express ... and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
“Yes,” she whispered and leaned forward, pressing her lips to mine.
“Together, Rabbit. We’ll make our decisions together. You are my partner. I love you,” I murmured. “We’ll figure out the future together.”
She smiled warmly. “Together.”
I hesitated. “Rabbit, I want you to do whatever makes you happy, but I really don’t want you worrying or looking for a job. You don’t have to, financially. I know it sounds old fashioned but I want to look after you. I want to look after our child. You have been through so much and I want you here, safe, with me. I like being able to take care of you.”
She regarded me for a moment. “But, if I wanted to?”
I smiled and cupped her face. “Then I would support you. But right now, is that something you want?”
“No, not really. I like being here with you. I like helping you with your work,” she admitted softly, and then sighed. “I get so tired I’m not sure I could work right now. Although the library is looking for volunteers. Maybe I could help out there a little?”
My hand ghosted over her stomach lightly. “Perfect. I know how much you love working with books. But nothing too much, okay? I don’t want you overdoing it.”
She nodded, smiling widely.
I shook my head in wonder. It was so easy to please her. “Good. It’s settled. Just a few hours at the library and the rest here with me.” I stroked her cheek. “I like you home. I love having you help me. You have such a good eye and I work well with you. Even my editor noticed how little there was to be worked on in the last few chapters.”
“I enjoy it as well. I just, well, I just felt I needed to contribute to things here, Joshua. That I should find a job and at least bring some sort of offering to this relationship.”
I stared at her, aghast. I gathered her hands up, clasping them to my chest. “Rabbit. Look at me.” I waited until her eyes were focused on mine. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. You contribute more than I can possibly express. You have given me my life back. You are carrying my child; something I didn’t think was possible. You have enveloped my entire life with love and hope.” I shook my head. “I don’t care if you ever hand me a pay stub at the end of the week, because what you contribute to us is invaluable. It is worth more than money.” I pressed on her hands. “Tell me you understand that. Please.”
I watched as her eyes softened and she nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered.
I shook my head and leaned forward, resting my forehead against hers. “No. Thank you. For being you. For loving me. For agreeing to marry me.” Once again, my hand strayed to her stomach. “For our child.” I captured her lips softly. “I love you, Rabbit.”